Trisher Nicole Married WHO?
by Captain Pagie
Summary: ON HIATUS What happens when Trisher and I are in M.E.? Well, nothing good. I'll give ya that. Sequal to 'I MARRIED WHO'. READ! It's funny...
1. Poor Trisher

Trisher Nichole Married Who?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Summery: Sequel to: I MARRIED WHO?, except with my best friend, the one I call Trisher Nichole, since her names Trisha, I just changed to Trisher, and Nichole is her middle name, thus Trisher Nichole. And this is her story, which she asked for, I just filled in the blanks.

Man, Am I dead when she reads this. Well, not me literally, I just had a thought; She could make me divorce Faramir! Oh well, I can just erase it later.

Oh yes, Trisher Nichole cannot read what she calls "Da Elvish"

Chapter 1

Rhyme Time

"Hello, I am your narrator, LiL Pippin Padfoot."

Clears throat, and opens giant dusty book.

"Gather round children, and listen to the tale of my friend, Trisher Nichole, mind you not Sue.

As she falls to Middle Earth and asks the famed question; 'I married WHO?'

Okay, I can't rhyme forever.

So, my friend Trisher Nichole wakes up. Which isn't highly unusual for her to do, unless of course you are dead, otherwise generally you wake up after you sleep. So thus, it was not highly unusual for Trisher Nichole to wake up.

But she did get a surprise, for when she woke up, she stood up. Realizing that she wasn't at her house, she began to jump on the bed.

Just then a maid walked in. Trisher Nichole assumed it was a maid, because of the nametag that read 'MAID', but Trisher Nichole was shocked to see that it was in Da Elvish!

At first Trisher Nichole thought that she had switched minds with her best friend, also known as LiL Pippin Padfoot. But she had no love for Orlando Bloom, Legolas, Faramir, Viggo Mortensen, or any of the people her friend was infatuated with.

Well, Trisher Nichole said a quick prayer that she had not married Faramir.

As she walked out, she ran into someone. That someone happened to be Boromir.

Trisher Nichole thought that Boromir was dead, so she began to poke him, which isn't a very unlike thing for Trisher Nichole to do.

"Umm, excuse me." Said Boromir

"Shuttup, your dead." Said Trisher Nichole, who I remind you, is not Trisher Sue.

"If I am dead, than how can I have married you?"

Trisher Nichole's mouth dropped to the floor.

In all of Middle Earth it was heard, when she said those famed Words like a Mary-Sue:

"I MARRIED WHO?"

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Don't blame me, LiL Pippin Padfoot, it's all Trisher Nichole's fault. She asked me to write a I Married Who, story for her, and she wanted some of it to rhyme.

Man, Faramir and I are soooooooooo dead for hooking those two up.


	2. Happily Dead

TRISHER NICHOLE MARRIED WHO?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone, not even my wonderful friend Trisher Nichole.

Chapter 2

Happily Dead

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Trisher Nichole had run away from Boromir. She was looking for Faramir. Where she found Faramir, she was sure she would find her friend, or in other words, me.

"I AM GOING TO KILL YOU PAIGE MARISSA!"

You could hear Trisher Nichole all the way in Ithillien, where I was.

I looked over and saw Trisher Nichole.

"Oh, hello there Trisher Nichole."

"Don't hi me, Paige Marissa."

"What?"

"Do you know who I married?"

"Boromir, right?" I said sarcastically.

"Yes! How did you know?"

"Well, duh, I kinda married his brother."

Trisher Nichole was getting madder by the minute.

"You screwed everything up again!"

"What do you mean by that?" I said in an offended tone

"I swear, Paige Marissa, you can't leave anything alone can you?"

"Would you quit with the middle name?"

"I thought so; you have to mess everything up. Where's Eowyn? Why isn't Boromir dead? Where are Arwen, Legolas, Aragorn, and the others?"

I mumbled incoherently under my breath.

"What's that Paige? You messed everything up so that you could have Faramir, and accidentally had I marry Boromir? Yea, I believe that."

I smiled "Good, I hoped so."

Trisher Nichole sighed.

"Did you know I poked my (at this word she shuddered) husband this morning?"

I giggled.

"Really, I didn't think you would, not really."

"GRRR."

"Okay, down dog. I just thought…"

"Yea, you'd give me Boromir, I thought IF and that was a big IF you would actually do this, you said you'd make me marry a hobbit! Like Merry or Pippin."

"But, they were happily married."

"As was Faramir, and Boromir was err, happily dead."

"Trisher Nichole, You know no one can be happily dead."

"He was!"

"Was Not!"

"Was Too!"

"Oh! Hello, Trisher Nichole, how are you today?"

Faramir had found us.

Trisher was shaking with Anger, so he tried another question.

"How's Boromir today?"

Trisher Nichole replied

"He's not very squishy."

At this, I burst out laughing.

Faramir looked, rather scared.

"I think I'm going to go now, I'll see you later sweetie."

I smiled.

Trisher smacked me upside the head.

"What was that for?"

"To bring you back down to Earth."

"Middle Earth." I reminded her

"Whatever."

"So, I have a question."

"What?"

"Does Boromir have abs, if he's not squishy?"

That's about when Trisher Nichole tackled me.

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All Trisher Nichole there, in fact, we've had arguments like that before.

Very Funny stuff, if you ask Trisher Nichole, that is, when she clams down.


	3. The Truth

Trisher Nichole Married WHO?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, except this particular plot.

Chapter 3

The Truth

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Trisha and I had quit fighting some time ago. Not because one of us one, just because we got bored, and you have to admit, we were fighting over Boromir.

"So, this is the ultimate pay back, huh?" Trisher asked me

"Yup." I said

"So, are we a happy couple?"

I couldn't help it. I started to laugh, and soon, I was crying.

"YOU'RE NOT HELPING!"

"I'm sorry Trisher, I can't. I can't, it's too funny. I can't believe you asked me that!" I said wiping tears off my cheeks.

"Well?" Trisher gave me that look. That 'I'm being serious, not Sirius, serious, and you better be too.' So I had to be.

I sorter shrugged and kept walking.

"What," she said "Is THAT supposed to mean?"

"Yes?"

"It's not hard to tell when you're lying. Look at me."

I shut my eyes.

"Not going to open them."

"I'm warning you."

"Uh-uh"

"Then tell me the Truth."

"I don't know."

"What do ya mean?"

"I mean 'I don't know' what your like."

"WHAT?"

"It's simple really. I was in my house one moment, the next, well I was here. And of course, I knew I was meant to be with Faramir…"

"So you could have been cheating on him with Legolas and Aragorn?"

"NO! Trisher, that's not funny."

"Well, where is everyone?"

"I dunno."

"I think you do."

"Well…."

"C'mon show me where you put them."

"Why do you always assume me?"

"Because you're always the one to that."

I sighed

"True. Let's go."

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Who do you thinks older? Trisher or I? I wanna know. I'll tell you in my next chapter. See if you can answer right. ;) You may be surprised.


	4. It's Not MY Fault

Trisher Nicole Married WHO?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I am considering about buying New Line Cinemas, but, meh, I don't own anything. I'll put at the end, which's older. I think you'll be surprised… ;)

Oh, and I have a bad habit I must reveal. I talk really fast. When I was in 1st grade, I was sent to Speech class. Well, I made sure I took my time, and spoke properly, and I was out of it in 5 minutes tops. But, I speak so fast without realizing it, and people who don't know me, make me stop, and start all over again. I went to a small school, so most of the teachers were used to it, but when I was younger I used to get really mad when people would tell me to stop and start again, so I would shut my mouth and not say anything to them. I was a bit stubborn. Anyway, unto the story

Chapter 4

It's Not My Fault….

"So, they're really dead?"

"Yes."

Oh, don't worry. No one died; I was just telling Trisher about how my wagon party on Oregon Trail died.

"That's really pathetic, Paige."

"Shuttup"

"Can I ask a question?"

"If it doesn't involve the words 'pathetic', 'sad', 'fruity', or 'DSL'"

"Don't worry. I just wanted to know were we're going."

"That could be helpful."

"What does that mean?"

I waved my hand.

"Simply put: I have no clue."

"Not again."

So, I'm not very good at maps. Trisher and I don't make a great team anyway. Once, in this game (it was an assignment in computer class) we were supposed to complete it, and see who could do without wasting the least amount of money. The point of the game was to travel Cross-country, in a giant truck and collect 5 commodities.

Well, I was the driver and she told me were to go. We were supposed to go to Virginia for tobacco; well somehow, I ended up in Louisiana.

"I don't have a map. Plus, how did you get from Gondor, to Ithillien?"

"How do you know that I was Gondor, since you don't know anything?"

"Duh, Boromir's the Steward. But my Faramir's a prince, so there."

"What?"

"Well, I'd think you of all people Trisher. Okay a history lesson. In England when a King dies, the kingship is handed to whom?"

"His eldest son or daughter."

"A, now, if Boromir lived, and Denethor died, who would become the Steward?"

Trisher thought hard.

"Elrond?"

I hit her.

"I WAS JOKING!"

I shrugged.

"I'm being 'serious'."

"Okay, okay. So Boromir's a Steward?"

"Trisher, you are hopeless. Hey look! A wall!"

We ran over to the wall.

"So you know what this means?" asked Trisher

"What?"

"We can follow the wall to where it ends, and then get out."

"Or, I could just sit down and cry."

"And you called me hopeless."

"That's how Faramir found me."

Trisher stared at me.

"What. Are you talking about?"

"When I found myself in a strange place, and I didn't know anyone, and no one spoke Da Elvish, or like Normal English, at least mine and I got really depressed, so I sat down and cried."

"You did not."

"I did too; no one could talk to me. They couldn't understand me."

"Paige," said Trisher patiently, she was a seasoned professional at comforting me after people tell me to start all over again "Most people haven't been around you long enough to understand you."

"Faramir understood me."

Trisher rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, let's just follow this wall."

So we did.

"Do you know what happened to everyone?" she asked me

"Yes, much like what happened last time." I said brightly.

Trisher groaned.

"Don't worry. It's not all that bad, I mean Frodo and Sam isn't gay, and no went to the Gray Havens yet."

"That's nice, so what did happen."

"Well, as far as I know (from Faramir), Eowyn married Aragorn, Eomer married Lothiriel (like he was supposed to), Legolas is still single, and the hobbits are happily married, Pippin with his own little Faramir, Merry has a little one named Boromir, Sam has his own little Fellowship, and Frodo is single."

"What about Gimli?"

"That's where we hit a bit of a snag."

Trisher stopped.

"Wait, don't say it. I think I know."

"It's funny, isn't it?"

"Paige, that's wrong."

"No, I think it's kind of cute."

"Only you, only you."

"It's not my fault!"

Trisher just groaned again.

Anyone have any guesses?

Oh yes.

. Drum roll, please. And the older one is………………………………

ME!!! LiL Pippin Padfoot, by a year two months and like 20 days or something

Though, Trisher acts older sometimes. I don't know why.


	5. Cheap Boromir and Thief Faramir

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: El crabbo Del Diablo. (Spanish rules! French is for losers like Emily) (Just kidding Em)

Lamb Chop Rulez!

Chapter 5

Cheap Boromir

* * *

"I cannot believe that Paige. That is so wrong."

"No, I still think it's rather funny."

"You are twisted."

"No, you just don't have a sense of humor."

Trisher and I had been arguing like this forever.

So I made up a song, because this wall wasn't ending anytime soon.

"This is the wall that never ends,

Yes it goes on and on, my friends,

Some people got lost and followed it,

Not knowing where it ends,

And they'll continue walking it forever just because,

This is the wall that never ends…"

"WILL YOU QUIT SINGING?"

"All you had to do was ask."

"Hey it's the end! Finally!"

And so it was, there was the entrance, or the end, whatever.

"Okay, so we have one problem to fi- what's that on your finger?"

"It's my engagement ring."

"That is the One Ring!"

"Okay, so maybe Faramir stole it from Frodo, and gave him a fake one. It's really not that heavy you know,"

"Paige, you have the One Ring."

"And you have one."

Trisher realized on her finger was a very large, green, plastic ring that said 'Happy Birthday!' in bright pink letters.

"I can't help it that Boromir's cheaper than Faramir."

"Cheaper?" said Trisher "Boromir paid like 25¢, Faramir stole that."

I rolled my eyes.

"Let's just fix the one problem, okay?"

"Do you promise not to put the ring on at all?"

"I promise."

"Do you promise not to take over Middle Earth?"

"…"

"Promise me."

I mumbled 'fine' underneath my breath.

"So, where is it?"

"Ummmm, I don't know. We could ask some one."

"Not Faramir or Boromir."

"Why not? Faramir is awesome."

"Because both of them think I'm crazy." Replied Trisher

"That's sad, your own husband thinks your crazy."

"Just be quiet, and let's figure out where we are."

We were at a house.

"Oh, that's my house. Isn't killer, Trisher?"

Her jaw unhinged, okay, so maybe it was more of a castle than a house.

"Dude, Faramir's got cash doesn't he?" she said

"Much better than where you're living in Gondor, that's for sure."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that Princes are way better than Stewards, and I'd watch out for signs of Pyromania, it might be genetic."

"Did you just insult my Bory?"

I couldn't help it. I started laugh. "Oh, so he's Bory, now?"

"Shut up! Let's get to work; I don't want to hang around here any longer than I have to."

So, I led her into (my!) house, castle, whatever. "Would you like a tour?"

"No. I would like to find out something than leave."

"Sheesh, cool your jets. He's most likely in the library."

So we went in search of the library.

Tappy Hanksgiving Everyone!


	6. A Map Can Be Useful

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I have found that Maps are VERY useful, especially the ones in malls… Anyway don't own anything.

Chapter 6

A Map is Useful

* * *

"Paige?"

"Yes'm?"

"Do you know where you're going?"

"I thought I was following you."

"No, this is your house."

"Hey, look!"

It was map, and it said 'Map to the House. You are HERE'

"Well, that's helpful." Said Trisher

"Okay, if we're HERE, then the library is THERE."

"So let's go THERE."

So we went to the library.

We opened the door.

"Wow." Said Trisher "That is A LOT of Books."

"Yes, but much better than our school's library. I'm sure."

Trisher pulled one off a shelf, and flipped through it.

"Only if you can read it, it's better."

So, what the book was written in some strange writing.

"Hello? Some one there?"

"Hi Faramir! We were just looking for you." I said, I elbowed Trisher.

"You lilt- oh! Hi Faramir."

"What do you need?"

"A map, or some information."

"About what?"

"Where Gimli is."

"He's in Gondor right now, actually. And I need to go see Boromir, so we can all go, if you need to talk to him."

"Trisher, isn't that great? We can go see your husband."

"Yea. It's wonderful." Said Trisher rather sarcastically

"Well, let's go get some horses and go."

So we went to the stables, and guess who was there? Aracaran!

That night we left for Gondor.

That morning we arrived in Gondor.

How Ironic.

* * *


	7. Happy Reunions

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: apparently I am a kleptomaniac person. Go figure, so I guess I can steal Lord of the Rings then…

Chapter 7

Happy Reunions

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"Trisher!" said Boromir, who greeted us as we rode in to the city.

Trisher froze. I giggled and elbowed Trisher. We had gotten off our horses when we had entered the city.

"Brother!" said Faramir and they hugged.

Boromir made a move to hug Trisher, but she ducked and waved instead.

"I have a cold. Cough." Trisher let out a pitiful fake cough.

"Oh."

"Yea sorry."

Boromir shrugged.

"I am here to speak to you, of course, but would you find out where Gimli is? Trisher and my wife wish to speak to him."

"Oh, of course. Bergil! Take these fine ladies to Master Gimli.

"Goodbye." Said Faramir he gave a little kiss on the cheek, then him and Boromir walked away.

I must of stood there like a fool, until Trisher pushed me.

"Ack!" I fell down

"Can you come back to reality?"

"I guess."

We followed Bergil to a very nicely furnished suite.

"Wait here, I'll fetch Master Gimli."

So for about 20 minutes Trisher and I elbowed each other.

Till we heard the sound of heave boots stomping around.

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TRISHER NICOLE I READ YOUR BIO! YOU ARE SOOO DEAD!

I WILL BURN THAT NOTEBOOK!!!!


	8. Crazies and Problems

Trisher Nicole Married WHO? 8

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I'm going to live forever, or die trying! :) Don't own anything.

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Chapter 8

Crazies and Problems

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"Yea, what'd you want?" Gimli

"Excuse me." I said

"Paige." Trisher hissed "Shut up." She was eyeing his ax.

"You don't need to be so rude, you know."

Gimli sort of growled.

"I mean, we married royalty."

"Paige Marissa!"

"Ima King." Gimli said

I rolled my eyes.

"Of a Cave."

"You insultin' my cave?"

"You can't trust her." Trisher said "Mental problems, schizophrenia, pyromania, in fact, she's just a maniacal person in general. Talks without knowing what she's saying."

"Do she?"

"I do not!"

Trisher elbowed me.

"Ow!"

"See, she thinks the voices are hurting her."

"Oh, really? She's that crazy?"

"Very."

"Honey? Who's there?" a new voice entered the conversation.

"Just some crazies." Responded Gimli gruffly.

Arwen walked into the room.

"They are not crazies, dear." She said.

Trisher was about to puke, seeing that Arwen really DID marry Gimli, and I was about to laugh at her face.

"This is the girl that married Faramir, and she (she then pointed to Trisher), married that Boromir, Faramir's older brother."

"Oh, so you're Boromir's wife? I've heard of yeh. Yeh're the crazy one."

"I am not!" said Trisher "She's the crazy one!"

"Just as crazy as you!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Is there a reason you are here?"

"Yes." Said Trisher

"We need to get things back to normal, because she (at this, Trisher jerked her thumb in my direction), messed everything up. Again."

"I don't understand." Said Arwen

"Neither do I." I said

"YOU MARRIED FARAMIR!" Trisher shouted at me.

"Yeah, so?" I said

Trisher rolled her eyes.

"It's no use trying to talk to her, you know." She told Gimli and Arwen. "She never listens."

"I still don't see why yeh here." Said Gimli

"Huh." I said "I forgot too."

"You did not! You just don't want to divorce Faramir. Anyway. We are here to fix things."

"No," I corrected "She is here to fix things."

"I think I'll jest be kicking yeh both out."

And with that, Trisher and I were kicked out.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

"This sucks."

"Amen to that."

Trisher and I were sitting outside. We'd been thrown out of Gimli's current place in Gondor, and didn't know where to go.

"Hows about, we try to find Faramir and Boromir, and no, we will not sit down and cry."

I sighed. "Sounds like a plan."

"Hey! You in the uniform!" called Trisher to a soldier.

"Yes, milady?" he said

"Could you take us to where Boromir and Faramir are, if you know, that is."

"Yes of course I can."

So we followed him around the twisting alleys and roads of Minas Tirith.

By the time it we were where Faramir and Boromir were, it was night time.

"Should I show you to your rooms?" he asked.

"Uh, no, thanks." Trisher said.

We eventually found where we supposed to be sleeping by convenient signs that said:

FARAMIR & PAIGE

And

BOROMIR & TRISHER

We were about to walk in when a thought came to me.

"Trisher, I can't go in there."

"Why not?"

"Read the sign again.

"Boromir and Trisher, Faramir and Paige."

"Okay, now think about it."

"Oh my GOD!"

"YES."

"They're going to be in there!"

"And they expect us to..."

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

"Shut up!" I told her "They'll hear us."

"What are we going to do?"

"Umm, sleep in the hallway?"

"But, the floor looks hard." Said Trisher critically

"Out here or in there."

"I hear it's better for you're back if you sleep on a hard surface."

"I thought so."

So Trisher and I lay down on the floor.

"It's better than in there."

"Definitely."

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Oh dear. Trisher will kill me when she reads this.


	9. No Worries Then

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I hope that guy didn't come back! Thank you all reviewers!

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Chapter 9

Answer to the Problem

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"_Aw aren't they sweet?" Faramir and Boromir looked down where Trisher and Paige had been trying to fall sleep **ALL NIGHT.**_

"_Yeah," agreed Boromir. "They must not have wanted to wake us up."_

_And with that they walked off down the hall._

"Egotistical B######s" said Trisher, who sat up as soon as they were out of earshot.

"Hey! You're talking about my husband!"

"What are we going to do? We didn't get any sleep."

"Okay, well then we'll just sleep now."

"Okay."

So we went to our separate rooms, and fell asleep.

We both woke up at about the same time; well Trisher woke up first, and then woke me up.

"So, what's our plan of action against Gimli?" Trisher asked me

"I dunno. It's too early; wake me up in a few hours."

"Paige, it's like the afternoon!"

"So? Go get some lunch and leave me alone!"

"If we keep doing this, we will never figure this out."

"Sorry, I need sleep." I pulled a blanket over my head, only to have it pulled off.

"COLD!"

"Not, my fault."

"Give me the blanket back!"

"Not till you listen."

"Hang on; I have to put my listening ears on."

Trisher threw a pillow at me.

"Okay, Okay, I'm listening."

"Before we can figure something out for Gimli, we have to figure out what we are going to do about sleeping arrangements. Because I am NOT sleeping in the same bed, much less the same room as Boromir."

"Speak for yourself, I don't mind, so long as he keeps his hands off."

Trisher rolled her eyes at me.

"Okay, fine. We'll tell them we're sick. And we'll stay at the Houses of Healing."

"Okay, but we're not sick."

At this, I pretended to have coughing attack, and I rolled off the bed unto the floor, coughing.

"If you keep that up, Faramir might try to resuscitate you."

"Really? Go get him, I'll start coughing."

Another pillow hit me in the head.

"Fine, what's your plan Sherlock?"

"I don't have one. I just don't want to be sleeping in the same room as him."

"We are in a predicament. But, I'm hungry."

"Me too."

"Okay, let's find some food first."

"Agreed."

So we left in search of food.

We eventually found a kitchen, and ate some apples.

"Hey!" Trisher said.

"What?"

"I still have my watch. See?"

She shoved her pink Nike watch in my face.

"That's nice Trisher."

"Do, you have anything from the real world?"

"I dunno."

"LOOK!"

"All right, fine, whatever."

I shoved my hands into the pockets of jeans.

I pulled out a gum wrapper, a cough drop wrapper, a penny, a quarter, a 5 dollar bill, a Q-tip (unused), a button, a note that Trisher gave me in Math class earlier…

"You are such a packrat."

I looked into the pockets of my hoodie.

I pulled out what was normally there: a pen, a cough drop, a piece of gum, my wallet, my keys, my cell phone…

"Your cell phone!  
"Yeah, my dad makes me take it everywhere."

"You are so dense sometimes. See if you have any service!"

"Fine, fine, give me a sec."

I yawned and turned my phone on.

"Huh. That's odd."

"What? What?"

"Well," I yawned again. "It should say 'Padfoot Lives', when I turn it on, but umm today it doesn't, it didn't say anything. Oh yes, and on my screen it says 'eekerrs' but, it doesn't say anything there either."

"What does that mean?"

"Well," another yawn, "Sorry, some one messed with my phone, or it was disconnected."

"See if you can call some one!"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Well, you see those bars there? Yes, well, I only have 1 bar, and even if I tried, the call won't go through, and no one can get a call through to me. And I didn't charge the phone, and I only have a little battery left."

"Oh."

"Sorry, who would I call anyway?"

"Where were we, when we ended up here?"

"I don't know. I don't remember. Hey, I have a question."

"Huh?"

"Well, you said ya didn't want to sleep in the same room as Boromir, but you woke up in a different bed…"

"I know what you're getting at, but so long as I don't think about it, and don't remember it, I won't start to think about it."

"Okay."

"Hey, were did you wake up at?"

"I didn't wake up. Well, I guess you could say I 'woke up', but I don't think I was asleep."

"Really?"

"Yeah, like I told you, I had no clue like where I was. Then Faramir found me."

"Do you remember anything about the day?"

"All of it, cept the part of what I was doing before I got here."

We sat there for a second.

"I just remembered where I was." Said Trisher

"Really? Enlighten me."

"I was asleep, but what I just remembered is that I sent you an e-mail."

"I must have opened it, and then came here, because now I remember a message popping up that said 'Trisher Nicole Subject: Re. OMG'."

"Do you think that's what put us here?"

"If it did, we must have landed in different time zones, or you were sleeping or something, because I got here during the day, and it was like a day before you showed up."

"Huh."

"But, We don't have to worry about that."

"Why not?

"Because, according to your watch, it's almost 10:00, and we have no place to sleep."

"So? Let's just stay here."

"No worries then."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&7


	10. On Your Own

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: Don't own it. Well, I own the plot. I think. Oh well, I'm just bored.

THANK YOU REVIEWERS!!

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Chapter 10

On You're Own

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So, we hung out in the kitchen place all night.

"Amazing." Said Trisher

"What?"

"The fact that you complained that I woke you up, and now, you've stayed up all night."

"Must be jet lag or something."

"Do you get jag lag if you like wind up in a different world?"

"They must have."

"But, my watch is right."

"I dunno then."

We sat in silence some more.

"Hey, look, it's dawn."

"I hope they didn't send out a search party or something."

"Do you think they noticed?"

"Maybe."

"Well, let's go to the library."

Funny, the library seems to help a lot, especially in Middle Earth.

"You know, this could be a good hide out."

"Yeah." I agreed.

"Okay so let's make a plan…"

"Wait."

"What?"

"What was in that email you sent me?"

"Don't remember, okay, so we have to find Aragorn, too…"

"Look in your pockets."

"What?"

"Just do it."

Trisher pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket.

"I don't remember printing out a copy of this email."

"Lemme see it."

Trisher handed it to me.

It read:

_**TO**: ladydernhelm _

_**From**: TrisherNicole _

_**Subjec**t: Re: OMG_

_**Message**:_

_THAT PICTURE WAS SO FUNNY._

_You're right, I will torture you with it. !_

_But, you're forgiven. Just so'long as you never mention Forsyth, the Saxophone, Sean Bean, or Boromir again._

_Agreed?_

_Otherwise, I might just have to send you and Faramir back to Middle Earth._

_: P_

_Cya_

_**Trisher Nicole**_

_Previous Message_

_**To:** TrisherNicole _

_**From:** ladydernhelm _

_**Subject:** OMG_

_**Message:** _

_YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS PICTURE!!_

_I'll die when you see it though, you'll use it to torture Faramir and I 4 ever._

_But, because I sent this will you forgive me?_

_PLEASE!!!_

_(don't worry, the attachment isn't a virus, that's where the pic is._

_- Paige_

"Well, that doesn't help much does it?" said Trisher

"No, not really." I wadded it up and threw it over my shoulder.

"Wait a sec!" I ran over and picked it up.

I scanned the email again

"There." I pointed to a particular passage.

"No, freaking way. That can't happen. It was just a joke. I mean it."

We were referring to: '_Otherwise, I might just have to send you and Faramir back to Middle Earth.'_

"Well, I got myself outta here last time. So it's your turn to get us both out."

"But…"

"Your turn. I am going to take a nap." And sprawling out on one of the very nice couches in the library, I left Trisher all alone.

* * *


	11. Doesn't Give Up Easily

Trisher Nicole Married WHO?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Trisher your husband has just been arrested ;) OW!

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Chapter 11

Doesn't Give Up Easily

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Well, Trisher doesn't give up very easily.

I knew this, but I thought maybe she'd forget.

For about an hour, Trisher poked me.

That was until, a soldier dude walked in.

"The Steward Boromir, requests the presence of his wife, Trisher Nicole."

I looked at her face. Priceless.

She gave me a pleading look.

"Sorry, your husband, not mine."

"You will pay."

"I have my doubts."

And with that, Trisher was ushered out the door.

"Goodbye!" I called out cheerfully

It was returned with a scowl from Trisher.

I sighed contently. I wondered if I would be able to hear it from the library…

&&&&&&&&**Meanwhile**&&&&&&&&

Trisher had given up trying to get away from the soldier. It didn't work.

Trisher was reluctantly following him.

He would look back at her every so often, just to make sure she wasn't trying to escape.

Again.

"Why do you not want to see your husband?" the soldier asked Trisher

"I don't like him! It was a joke! We were bored!"

_**FLASHBACK**_

"_Boromir, by all rights you shouldn't be alive. So go to Lothlorien, steal a boat. Put the boat in the Anduin, lay down, make sure you cut you horn in half, and let the river take its course. Gimli, Legolas, do what you normally do, just don't fall in love, ok? And Trisha, get down from the tree, you are not the Cheshire cat. Bye-Bye everyone!" And with that, Paige jumped into the boat, along with poor Frodo, and left._

_Boromir sadly walked over to the tree, where Trisher had been sitting._

"_Hi! I'm Trisher!"_

"_I'm Boromir."_

"_Cool."_

"_I'm bored. Do you want to get married?"_

"_Meh." Trisher hopped out of the tree and they went to get married in a 5 min. ceremony._

_**END OF FLASHBACK**_

"So, you don't really love him?"

"Nope, we were just bored."

"I see."

By that time, they had reached the Steward's office, where Boromir was.

&&&&&&&**MEANWHILE**&&&&&&&

I was lazing around in the library. Ultimate boredom.

Faramir walked in, and caught me flipping through a book.

"Hey."

"Oh, hi Faramir."

"Ready to go home?"

I closed the book.

"Sure."

Man, was Trisher going to kill me or what?

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Aren't I a wonderful friend? REVIEW. But you always do, so I'll thank you ahead of time. Thank you!


	12. Infidelity

Trisher Nicole Married WHO?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: I used to be a schizophrenic, but we're okay now!

I HAVE ALL THE LOTR EE's, BUT I DON'T GET IT TILL CHRISTMAS, CURSE PARENTS, GUARDIANS, and PAROLE OFFICERS!

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Chapter 12

Infidelity

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So, I left Trisher in Boromir's _very _capable hands.

"Yeah?" Trisher asked.

Boromir was sitting at a desk, which was piled high papers.

'Jeez,' thought Trisher 'He cleans his desk as much as me.'

(A/N Trisher's desk in Math & Science is horrible!! candy wrappers, papers, pencils…)

Boromir glanced up at her.

&&&&&&**In Ithilien, My wonderful Home**&&&&&&

I was in a tree, in the middle of the night.

Why did I leave Trisher in Minas Tirith? I banged the back of my head against the back of the trunk.

It's so hard to conspire and plot by yourself. I needed my sidekick.

"Paige?"

Shoot, Faramir was going to find me. I sat perfectly still.

I saw him walk right underneath the tree where I was sitting.

I didn't breathe until he walked past.

I needed a plan. Okay, had one.

I waited till Faramir was definitely out of earshot and jumped out of the tree.

Good thing I had, because I am not as graceful as an elf, and I managed to fall out of the tree, rather than jump, but no sprains, so I was good.

I ran to the stable, made sure no one was there, saddled up Aracaran and left for Minas Tirith.

It is a bit hard to find your way to Rohan from Ithilien in the middle of the night. Not complicated, just hard.

I got there about two days later, though apparently I leaving Faramir, and my past, had preceded me.

_**&&&Rewind&&&**_

Boromir glanced up at Trisher.

"Hello Trisher."

Trisher raised one eyebrow at him.

"You wanted me?"

"Oh yes."

Trisher rolled her eyes. "You didn't remember you asked for me?"

"I did."

Trisher sighed. "What do you want?

"I wanted to know about this."

And with that Boromir picked up and showed Trisher a tattered blue notebook, that had been patched up with rolls of scotch tape, the cover was hanging, as were several pages.

"Hey! That's mine, give it back!" Trisher said

"I found this."

"It's mine, see?"

Trisher pointed to the cover which printed in a sharpie said 'TRISHA'.

"It had my homework in it."

"A little more than homework I should think."

An idea dawned on Trisher.

"How far did you read?"

"Enough to know that your little friend has been two timing my little brother."

"What!" Trisher began laughing.

"I do not find this funny!"

"It is, really, that's not true." Trisher was trying not to laugh.

"Explain."

"Okay, okay," Trisher took a breath.

"Back in our world, as an assignment we had to write stories, our teacher would give us a sentence, and we were supposed to write a little three page story every week, starting it with that sentence. Well, the one week, it was about pirates, and Paige of course, has this fascination with Pirates, (thought I think it's just Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom). Let me show you."

Trisher opened the notebook to the page that read:

'Here Come the Pirates

Dedicated to Paige'

Then in a different hand, was written:

'Wrote without permission from Paige'

The word 'without' had been crossed out and rewritten several times.

"See? It was a joke."

"What about this?"

Boromir flipped ahead a few pages, where there were two pictures, one was a stick figure Orli B., proposing to Evil, Stupid, Blonde, Kate Bosworth. Next to it was a print out of my buddy icon, a drawing of Faramir, and me, well actually, it had been Eowyn, but I had altered it to look like me. Trisher and I called it my wedding picture.

"She did marry my brother."

"Yes, well, that I can explain…"

_&&&Flashback&&&_

"_Pssst!" I glanced up, and Trisher flicked a piece of paper at me._

_I 'dropped' my pencil, and picked up the note._

'_Paige, do you want to marry Will Turner or Jack Sparrow?'_

_Trisher watch as Paige smiled at wrote something then flicked the paper back at Trisher._

'_Paige, do you want to marry Will Turner or Jack Sparrow?_

_**Neither Trisher, I want to marry Faramir! :P '**_

_Trisher turned and smiled at me, then I laughed._

_&&&&_

"That's the day she learned to take me seriously."

"oh. So, she didn't really run off frolicking with Legolas, or hug Aragorn?"

"No."

"So this list doesn't matter?"

He was referring to the back of the notebook with a very long list, that read

'Paige's Priority List'. Underneath were listed people like Aragorn, Legolas, Eomer, and one by one they were checked off.

"No, that was a joke."

"Okay.

Trisher decided she didn't know her husband very well.

"Boromir, can I ask you a few questions?"

Trisher and Boromir stayed in that study for an entire day talking about their lives, until…

"My Lord, your brother is here, and he needs to see you immediately."

"Send him in."

Faramir walked in, crying, stumbling, and looking totally lost.

"Where's Paige?" asked Trisher

AT this, Faramir started to sob.

"She's gone."

"What?!" yelled Trisher

"I don't know! She's gone, and so's Legolas."

Boromir turned to Trisher.

"You said she didn't love him!"

"She doesn't!"

"Don't worry," said Boromir patting Faramir on the back "I'll find her, and give her a talking to."

"Uh-oh." Said Trisher

Trisher slipped out of the study.

Just in time to see me.

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References to the Blue Notebook, and notes, are VERY true.


	13. A Shocked Faramir

Trisher Nicole Married WHO?

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Do I look like an old man with a pipe? Do I huh? I better not!

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Chapter 13

A Shocked Faramir

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I rode into Minas Tirith, with people pointing and talking.

I saw Trisher, hopped off Aracaran, and started to talk to her.

"So, people are talking about me, as per usual. What's new."

"I can't believe you!" she yelled

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"You running off with Legolas!"

"You started a rumor!"

"I didn't! Faramir just came into the study crying like his heart was going to break, saying you left him for Legolas."

"I didn't! I just left, I swear, I have no clue where Legolas is!"

"Okay, well, Boromir thought that you were two timing Faramir before Faramir came in. You have to hide."

"Can't I just apologize?"

"As usual, you do something without thinking. No, Boromir is about ready to kill you!"

But Trisher was talking to thin air. I was already gone.

She turned around, saw my retreating back and ran after me.

"If you're going to die, I wanna have front seats."

"I'm glad you're my best friend, Trisher."

"Shuttup, I'm only coming because school is so boring without you."

We walked till we were at the study door.

"Okay," said Trisher "This is when you open it."

"I can't believe it."

"I know, they have like doorknobs in Middle Earth, pretty cool, huh?"

"No!" I sighed then leaned against the door "I can't believe I broke Faramir's heart. I mean, I just left to come back to Minas Tirith…"

"Apparently in the middle of the night, without warning."

"Okay, so it was a spur of the moment thing."

"You need to learn to think about other people!"

"I didn't mean to. And now I'm going to cry!"

"Don't cry!"

But I was already crying.

"Oh c'mon, I'm sure he'll forgive you. You didn't do anything wrong, not really…"

"You're right!" I said

Before I could turn around though, the door opened, and I, who was leaning against fell backwards, only to be caught by Faramir.

"YOU!"

"Hi?"

He didn't drop me, like I thought he would.

He just gave me this look, which made my heart brake.

"I'm sorry." I stood up.

"Where's Legolas?" Faramir asked me

"I dunno."

"Oh, c'mon." said Boromir "Don't tell us that." He held up the notebook.

"We know all about it."

"Know all about what?" asked Faramir.

"TRISHER! I knew that thing would come back to haunt me!"

Trisher stood there helpless, as Boromir opened the notebook, to a really bad page.

He cleared his throat then started to read.

"Legolas and Paige frolicked, while it was all caught on video tape by a stoned Gwaihir. Then it says 5 hours later. When Paige woke up, she realized that she had Legolas had fallen asleep."

I had my face buried in my hands. Trisher was half smiling at her brilliance, and half saddened at my despair, Boromir was smiling, happy to bring me down, and Faramir had a look of shock and horror.

"There's more." Said Boromir "Including the part where she hugs Aragorn."

"That was a pity hug!" declared Trisher

At least some one was on my side.

Faramir was just standing there, in shock maybe, scared possibly, mad at me, most likely of all, or maybe it was all three. Me, I was about to be sick.

"A pity hug? At least you don't participate in this." Boromir said to Trisher.

"Hey!" I said "She's the one that did that to me! None of that stuff is true! Just ask her."

"Really, Paige left last night, because she was lonely."

"Likely story."

Faramir was still standing there. I wanted him to say something.

But at least now, Trisher and Boromir were going head to head.

"What do you mean; I better not hug someone else?" yelled Trisher

"You're my wife!"

Trisher hugged Faramir.

"AHHH!"

That yell came from Boromir, Faramir, and me.

Two of the afore mentioned were now about ready to kill Trisher. Guess who.

"Trisher! He's mine!"

"I WAS JOKING!"

But I had already jumped on Trisher.

Man, if this was just seeing family, I'd hate to see what Christmas will look like.

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	14. I Don't Want to Know

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: My finger hurts. I don't know what I did, but there's a BIG scratch on it, and it hurts. Poor me.

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Chapter 14

I Don't Want to Know

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We had gotten in a bit of a misunderstanding in the last chapter. Okay, a bit more than a bit. Quite a bit, actually.

Some of soldier guard people broke us apart, in trying to do so, knocked out Faramir, so I had to punch the soldier that did it.

We were now in the dungeons below Minas Tirith. We were in different cells sort of like this:

Boromir/ Trisher/ Me /Faramir

Hallway

Random Drunks on this side.

There were bars, but we could still see and talk to each other, except Faramir, who was still knocked out.

Trisher and I had finally convinced Boromir that I hadn't cheated on Faramir. After which, we entertained the drunks by singing 'A Pirates Life for Me' until Boromir made us shut up.

Trisher and Boromir were now having a civil conversation, and I was leaning up against the bars watching Faramir for signs of life.

"Owwwww."

"Faramir's Awake!" I said happily

"Really?"

Boromir stood up, to try to see Faramir, who was lying on the floor.

"What happened? Why am I in a cage?" asked Faramir, sitting up

"Well, we had a bit of a fight." I jerked my thumb behind me, showing Trisher's black eye, and numerous other cuts and bruises on all of us.

"Do I look like that?"

"No, one of the soldiers just knocked you out, I got this," here I pointed to a rather large lump on my head, "from the soldier after I punched him for knocking out you."

"Oh."

All of a sudden we heard trumpets sounding.

"No!" said Boromir "Not now."

"What does that mean?" asked Trisher

"It means the King's coming!" said Boromir

And sure enough, along with several soldiers, came Aragorn, looking very kingly.

"Why," he said "Did I have soldiers coming in and telling me that the Steward, Stewardess, ("I'm not a flight attendant!") and the Prince and Princess of Ithilien were thrown in jail for getting in a fight?"

I started to talk, but I was stopped.

"No, really, I don't want to know. I'm going to let you out, and please don't let me ever have to deal with this again."

And with that, he walked out, and we were let out. Trisher and I looked at each other, then ran out, leaving Faramir and Boromir alone.

"Did she leave again?" asked Faramir

"Yea."

"Do you want to go get drunk, and act like this never happened?"

"That sounds good. But what happens when they come back?"

"I don't mean forget about them, I mean I want to forget about this."

"Okay let's go."

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Review! Thank you for it!

I am sort of at a standstill on my Mary Sue story. I don't want it to end!!!!


	15. Running

Trisher Nicole Married WHO 15

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: NEW AVRIL CD! So cool. Sorry, this one is a bit short.

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Chapter 15

Running

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"Why are we running?" asked Trisher breathlessly "And there better be a good reason."

Trisher was never to keen on running, and now, after she had broken leg, she hated it even more.

"Okay, we can quit I guess. I just didn't want them tagging along."

"Phwch."

"Yes, well, okay, now I have a question for you."

"What?"

"Okay, where the King is, who normally is around him?"

"A bunch of soldiers."

"No, okay, let me try something else, where Boromir and Faramir were, where were we?"

"Some where around them."

"Okay, so where King Aragorn is…."

"Queen Eowyn will be around somewhere near. Is that what you are getting at?"

"Yup."

"Paige. Are you really going to do that?"

"I have to, I guess."

Trisher gave me a sympathetic look, and patted me on the back.

"It's for the higher good."

"I know, but it really sucks."

"Amen to that. He is hot."

"But, Faramir will still be alive, Boromir has to die."

"Will Faramir become the Steward, if Boromir dies?" asked Trisher, not fazed by my remark.

"I don't know, you two didn't have any kids did you?"

Trisher hit me.

"Okay, it was just a joke, c'mon. I want to get home, I miss my computer. I haven't been on line in DAYS."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Meanwhile, while Trisher and I were running trying to find Eowyn, Boromir and Faramir were trying to get drunk, and forget.

"Yo ho, Yo ho, a pirates life for me…" Boromir was a horrible singer, and somewhat drunk, but you could still understand his words.

"What," asked Faramir "Are you singing?"

"I don't know, Trisher and your wife were singing it in jail, before you woke up. It's a drinking song."

"Oh."

And they continued to drink.

"You know," said Faramir "They really aren't that bad."

"Your right." Said Boromir "This beer really isn't that bad, after you drink it enough."

"No! I mean our, uh, wives."

"Oh."

And then they continued to drink.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Trisher and I were bored, and had given up.

"We really need to get a life."

"OR get out of this one."

"True."

"But in order to do that, we have to find Eowyn."

We both sighed, and then started to look again.

* * *

Sorry, really short I know. Major problem. Trisher's dad may have found the blue notebook, and read it. MAJOR DAMAGE CONTROL. MAYDAY! MAYDAY! 


	16. Plans by Trisher

Trisher Nicole Married WHO 16

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: Whoo-Hoo! This story turns sweet sixteen. Not really, but in a chapter sense, I meant for it to only be like 5 chapters like mine. But Trisher's special.

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Chapter 16

Plans by Trisher Nicole

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"Do you have a plan?" Trisher asked

"Me? No."

"Then what are you going to do if we find Eowyn?"

"I'll figure something out."

"You better."

"I will."

We walked all over Minas Tirith, but ended up back where we started.

"Oh, this isn't good." Said Trisher

"What isn't?" Trisher pointed in front of a bar.

She was right, this wasn't good.

There, in front of the bar, were Boromir and Faramir. Still singing.

I sighed "Should we take them back, or let them stay?"

"I don't know, I'm debating myself, I wish I had a camera, killer black-mail. Though, it would make it sweeter if you were in there."

"C'mon, this is pathetic." They were making up their own verses to the song, and they were killing it.

"Okay fine, which one should I take?"

"Uh, how bout your husband?"

"That could work. Or, you could take my husband and I take yours."

"Uh, no."

We walked over to them.

"What have you been doing?" I said

"Drinking." Said Boromir

"Obviously." stated Trisher.

"How bout we take you two home?" I asked

"That would be nice."

They attempted to stand up, and accomplished it, but Trisher and I were over our heads.

I was the taller of us, about 5'6, but Faramir and Boromir hit 6 ft, easily.

"Trisher, we may have a problem."

"Oh, dear."

"Why don't I watch them, and you go find some guys to help us."

"Okay."

Trisher returned in a few minutes with some soldiers, who got Boromir and Faramir back into their rooms.

"Thank you. Gracias." I said to the soldiers, who walked away.

Trisher turned to me "So where do we sleep tonight?"

"Away from them, they are going to have one killer hangover."

"Yea. Library?"

"Sounds good."  
So Trisher and I camped out in the Library.

When we were settled in, Trisher handed me some parchment, at least I think it was, and a quill.

"What do you want me to do with this?" I poked my finger with the quill.

"How about thinking up some plans?"

"That would be nice." I said and I handed the stuff back to Trisher. "Go ahead. Knock yourself out."

"Uh, I'm not the major planner here."

I over my shoulders, and stood up, and looked around.

"Who is?"

Trisher threw the stuff at me.

"Okay! I can't come up with a plan at will, you know."

"Really? I did not know that."

"No, I just kind of think as I go. Plus there are no certain variables here."

"No what?"

"Variables."

"You lost me."

I sighed "Okay, in stupid terms, Nothing is for sure."

"Oh I see."

"Good."

"NOW GET TO WORK! I WANT TO GO HOME!"

"Sheesh" I started to think

"What if I? No, that won't work will it? Hmmm…" And I continued like that till Trisher fell asleep and I did too.

"IS THIS WHAT YOU CALL A PLAN?!"

"It's to early, yell at me later."

"Wake up!"

I opened my eyes, and Trisher waved the parchment in front of my eyes.

Oops, I forgot about that.

"Do you call this a plan?"

"Yes?"

"Okay, I can take that. You call some drawings of Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Dominic Monaghan, all traced around with little hearts and stars, a plan?"

"Yes?"

"I could hand this over to Boromir right now." Said Trisher "And I'm sure he'll be double mad cuz of that hangover…"

"You're threatening me!"

"When did I ever quit."

"Good point, but still, I can't plan under pressure."

"Okay, so then can you promise you can get me out?"

"No, I can't promise anything."

"Why not?"

"Because I've already been here. I still say that it's your fault we're here, and you have to get us out."

"You honestly think I can?"

"I have every bit of faith in you, now let me sleep."

Trisher was quiet for a couple of minutes.

"Do you know what? I think you're right."

I sat up, wide awake.

"What? Trisher Nicole, admitting I am right!"

I jumped up and did a victory dance.

"Will you sit down? Your making a fool of yourself."

"No one's here to care."

"I care."

"Fine, now, will you say that for a tape recorder 'I, Trisher Nicole, believe Paige is right'?"

"In your dreams."

"Okay, fine, be like that."

"I have a plan."

"What?"

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	17. MISSING

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Sorry about the mishap with the 17th chapter, what happened was I accidentally uploaded chapter 16 twice, and it showed up as 16 and 17 so I deleted chapter 17, which was actually a double of 16. If that didn't confuse you, congrats! If it did, oh well.

Rock on!

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Chapter 17

Missing

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Trisher hopped up and ran out the door, and I followed in hot pursuit. Until that is, Trisher stopped abruptly, I was used to her doing this, she did all the time to me.

"Keep moving Trisher."

"I just realized something."

"What, you can't plan?"

"Besides that."

"What?"

Trisher turned to me.

"I left the piece of paper in the library."

"Oh no, what if Boromir or Faramir find it? I signed it!"

That was the problem with me, I sign my name on everything, unless its government or private property, most of the time.

"I guess you're screwed."

"You too, come on; we have to go get it!"

With a heavy sigh, Trisher followed me back to the library.

The Library was trashed.

"We were gone like 5 minutes!" yelled Trisher, as she sifted through a pile of papers. "I think some one is after us. Really, I do." She said and moved on to a different pile.

"I think it's a blonde."

Another thing about me, I am convinced all blondes are against me.

"Be rational, a wind most likely blew this stuff around, ignore my conspiracy theory."

"Oh yes Trisher, a tropical wind landed in Minas Tirith today, exactly after we left, and as soon as we returned, one paper is missing, and the library is trashed worse than my room. Yes, that is totally reasonable."

"Well, when you put it that way." She said bitterly

"Who would have wanted it? I mean I don't think that any of the maids would trash the room and take my celeb drawings. Do you?"

"I don't know they speak like a different language."

"Westron?"

"Yeah, but its like trying to listen to you when your really excited, and alls I can catch are 'Orlando' 'Dominic' 'David' 'Faramir' or 'Lord of the Rings'."

We continued to look.

"This is hopeless; I might as well curl up and die." I pretended to faint

"Oh no you don't." said Trisher who promptly kicked me

"OW!"

"Now, we have to go suck up, major time, in case they find that."

"Why, its not like it's your problem."

"No but I don't want to visit you in jail, maybe later on, but not now."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

"Just come on."

And we went in search of Faramir and Boromir.

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Sorry, another short one. My shoulder hurts. And I can't wait till my soap comes on at 2:00, is the baby Theresa's or Gwen's? Will Louise marry Sheridan? Will Beth break them up before? Will Sheridan find out that her mother is Martin Fitzgerald-Lopez's woman?? Will Palomar ever be nice to Polar? Will Whitney tell Fox that the baby is actually her half-brother Chad's kid? Will Chad murder Fox because Fox took his job? Will Rebecca ever quit being a b itch? Will Sheridan and Louise find out that Beth's baby is actually theirs???? So many questions, so few answers!!!


	18. To Coincidental

Trisher Nicole Married WHO

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: In the great words of Trisher Nicole: 'Update soon! I love it when Boromir and Faramir are mad at you!'

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Chapter 18

To Coincidental

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"So where are they?" asked Trisher

"You think I know?"

"You should, he's your husband."

"Well, one of them is yours."

"Sorry."

We had just found out that Boromir and Faramir were, gone presumed missing.

"I bet the blondes did it."

"WILL YOU LEAVE OFF THE BLONDES?" Trisher yelled.

"Well, if they weren't against me…"

Trisher gave an aggravated sigh "Well, if they are gone, they can't find the drawing, and they can't get mad."

"True."

"What should we do?"

"Why are you asking me? It's your turn, pick something." I said, in a bored voice

"How about, we look for them?"

"Sounds cool."

"So, if I were the Steward and a Prince, where would I go? Oh, I also most likely have a hangover."

"Houses of Healing?"

"Let's go."

We eventually navigated ourselves there.

The Head Herb Dude was there.

"Can I help you?" he asked, eyeing me suspiciously

"Yes, did a Steward and a Prince come in here?"

"Yes," he said

"Have they had any visitors?" I asked

"No…"

"Good, don't let there be any. Okay?"

"If you say so…"

"I do say so, thank you!"

Trisher and I walk out.

"What was that all about?" asked Trisher "I don't think he likes you."

"We've met." I said grimly "And if they don't have any visitors, they can't get the drawing."

"That was a good idea. Can this get any worse at all?"

"Well, I could have left without a hair tie."

"That's sad." Said Trisher

"What?"

"You're stuck in an alternate reality, married to a Prince, and the biggest problem you could have, was FORGETTING A HAIR TIE."

"Yes, well, if your hair was like mine, you'd keep a hair tie on you all the time too."

"I noticed that you don't have your black one, quit mourning?"

I sighed, "No, I lost it again."

"Oh, that sucks."

"Yes, I need to clean my room, and find it."

"That's nice."

We kept walking.

"Maybe we should try to find the drawing?" I suggested "And where's the notebook?"

Trisher froze.

"Who ever has it, could bring you down, big time."

"I know!"

"Okay, the notebook is probably where we got in a fight, I think Boromir dropped it."

We went to the hallway outside of Boromir's study.

"It's not here!" I said

"Don't worry. We'll find it; maybe it's in the study."

We walked into Boromir's study.

"Jeez, you and Boromir have the same cleaning techniques." I commented.

"Shuttup, I could not help you, you know."

"What ever."

Trisher looked through the stuff on the desk, and I looked on the shelves.

I found something, that made me stop.

"Paige? I don't think it's here. Paige? What's that?"

"This," I said "Would be my old journal."

"Oh my god."

"I don't think anyone noticed this. I wonder who's chucking this stuff into Middle Earth. Whoever it is is as bad as Canadians are about dumping trash into Michigan."

"Is there anything, incriminating in there?"

I flipped through it.

"I love Orlando Bloom, written every other page, but this is my boring one, just about my boring life."

"If this wasn't coincidental, I'd say some one is trying to bring you down."

I sighed "Well, this is my pre-you, post-being dumped, so no worries, just me being really angsty, you know, about them. And oh yes," I flipped to a certain page "Here are some death threats to the you-know-who's, and some really angsty poetry, and some ways I would like to kill them and torture them, and on the next page, is every single secret they ever said."

"Wow, you go all out when you're mad, don't you?"

"I have a bad temper, but I bottle it up."

"I see. So, where can we keep this? I mean the Orlando Bloom thing, is a bit bad, but other than that, I still think no one should find this."

I slammed the notebook shut.

"I think I know where."

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Note on the black hair tie: The day I found out that Orlando Bloom was engaged, I found the only black piece of jewelry I own, a black hair tie, and I wore it around my wrist, as I was in mourning, also in mourning for Charlie, from Lost. There was another reason, but I forgot it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS


	19. We Go Our Seperate Ways

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Should've been a cowboy, and you should've have been one too, buddy.

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Chapter 20

We Go Our Separate Ways

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Trisher and I got into the room through the window.

"What is this?" asked Boromir shoving the paper at Trisher

"First, where did you get it?" asked Trisher

"Where did I get it? Why do I have it?"

Faramir and I just shrugged and watched them fight.

"I don't know, why do you have it?"

"Because some one gave it to me!"

"Well, this is pointless." I said

"SHUT UP!" They yelled at me

"Fine, whatever."

So I shut up, and watched them argue, it was rather amusing actually.

"Who are theses guys? That one looks like Legolas…"

That's when the conversation turned to me.

"Legolas?" repeated Faramir

"No, Orlando Bloom, big difference." I said

"Who's Orlando Bloom?"

"Some guy Trisher likes."

"Paige!"

"What?"

"I can't believe you!"

I shrugged "I'm a horrible person, I know."

"This is too much."

Trisher got up grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the Houses of Healing.

"What was that all about?"

"You said you thought Orlando Bloom was cute, so I wasn't lying."

Trisher just paced for a while.

"What are we going to do?"

"What are we?"

"Yes, we, it's a plural."

"I didn't take remedial English for nothing, Trisher; I know that we is a plural. I was asking why we?"

"Because WE got OURSELVES into this mess, and now WE have to get OURSELVES out of it. Get it?"

"I could say no."

"You could, but I would hit you."

"So what's the plan this time?"

"Just leave it to me. You stay here, if you want." And Trisher walked away.

"Trisher? That's doesn't sound good! Trisher!" I had to follow her, she could injure herself if she's all alone, and I don't trust her.

"Glad to see your going to join me."

"Whatever, what are WE doing?"

"First, we have to talk to Arwen and Eowyn."

"Why can't we just order a hit man…"

"NOT FUNNY!"

"Fine, but I don't see why my hot guy has to go first."

"Because, your crazier with him, than without him."

"Fine, we know where Arwen is , but we have to get Gimli to leave first."

"I don't know."

"I know!"

I whispered something in Trisher's ear.

"That's brilliant."

"I know, and it takes suspicion off me and you."

Trisher grinned evilly then stopped.

"You always hated that though."

"Desperate times call for desperate measures."

"Okay, let's find him."

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Hmmm, who will take the suspicion off Trisher and I?

I know!

Hee- Hee. but I wont tell!!!!

ORLANDO RULES!

THANK YOU TRISHERNICOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	20. It's Plural

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Sorry! I like totaly forgot about this! I'll start updating now!

Oh yes, I give you a hint in this Chapter who can take the blame off Trisher and I.

It's fairly obvious.

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Chapter 21

It's Plural

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"Paige, this is crazy." That would not be the last time that Trisher told me that.

"I know." I said breezily

Trisher rolled her eyes.

"Oh perfect egotistical one. I have found a flaw in your plan."

"Oh really?" I said amused "And that would be ...?"

"Duh! No one knows where Legolas is."

I just continued to walk.

"Paige?" asked Trisher

I couldn't help it, a smile crept onto my face.

"Paige! You know where he is!" she accused "Where is he?" she demanded "Where?"

At this I frowned "I don't know. Don't give me that look. I don't know for sure. I'm going on a hunch."

"Really?" now Trisher was amused "What hunch? Legolas wasn't here before you got here. Was he?"

I just stoicly kept walking.

"Fine!" Trisher said throwing up her hands "Keep your secrets. I hope it blows up in your face."

I turned and smiled

"Our faces, Trisher. It's plural."

"Whatever."

"Okay," I said, I can't keep my mouth shut forever. "I'm going off from The Hobbit."

"The Hobbit? Which one?"

"No, dork, the book."

"Ohhh. What hunch?"

"Think back to the chapter 'Barrels out of Bonds' and you'll get your answer."

It was quiet for a few minutes while Trisher thought.

Then she started to laugh, and tapped her nose.

"You, my friend, are good."

I smiled "I know."

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Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

What happened in 'Barrels Out of Bonds' ?

Well, wait and see...........


	21. A Spot More

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Hee-hee kept ya guessing.

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Chapter 22

A Spot More Please

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"Why," I started "In every single story that you and I are involved in, we or people we love end up drunk in a bar?"

Trisher shrugged "You're an alcholic?"

I hit her.

"Okay. OKAY! It's fun."

We stared at the sign, which read:

The Shiny Star

and in small print beneath:

DORWINIAN WINE SERVED HERE

Trisher tapped her nose.

"Well, we have to go in sooner or later."

"OR," suggested Trisher "We could wait till Faramir gets here, you know, Legolas could be a mean drunk."

I rolled my eyes "No worse than me I'm sure." I pushed my way into the bar, with Trisher behind me.

"Okay," Trisher whispered in my ear "We're looking for a blonde elf. Shouldn't be that hard." That last bit was sarcastic.

"Well," I said angrily "How was I supposed to know this was an all elf bar!"

That was true. The entire bar was nothing but elves.

"We can rule out the girls, and brunettes." I said

Trisher sniggered "I dont know, Legolas looks like a girl."

I elbowed her.

"Look, in the corner."

In the corner, there was a blonde elf, with a particularly big cup, and his head was on the table. On his back there was a bow and quiver.

"Let's go. The sooner it's over the better." said Trisher

We walked up to the elf we were hoping to be Legolas.

"Hello?" I asked "Elf sir?"

"Don't talk to me." the voice was slurred "I lost my friends." He lifted his head from the table. There was no doubt it was Legolas.

Trisher and I looked at each other.

"How did you lose your friends?" I asked

"They did the worst thing in the World!" He said waving the mug around, drippin some liquid on the floor.

"And that would be?"

"They got married!" He slammed his cup on the table. "Hey! Spot More Please!" He yelled

A waitress came to fill it up.

"Oh no you dont." I said grabbing it away from him.

"HEY!"

"Uh-uh, you need to go cold turkey. Sober up." I said firmly

"Yeah," said Trisher "I put her throught the twelve step program, and I will most likely have to do it for my husband too..." she said thoughtfully.

"It's becuase you drive everyone around you to drink." I said "Okay, c'mon Legolas. I have a plan to get your friends back."

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REVIEW!!!

Plz

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	22. YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Trisher and Boromir sitting in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G.... First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Trisher with a baby carriage....

LoL

I am soooooooooooo dead on Tuesday.

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Chapter 23

You Want Me To Do WHAT

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Trisher and I dragged Legolas out of the bar, and he was none too happy about it.

"Leggo of me!" he said we let go, but he sort of swayed, and fell forward.

Lucky for himself, Trisher and I caught him.

Though he was taller than us (not by much), he was light enough to drag around.

Trisher and I dragged him to Minas Tirith.

"Where are we taken him?" asked Trisher

I stopped "How bout the first place we find?"

"Sounds good."

"Don't I have a say?" he asked angriliy

"No," said Trisher "You don't take advice from drunks."

"I am most certainly NOT drunk." at drunk, he stumbled again

"Sure......." said Trisher

"Okay," I said "We take him back to where we live. If you can call it that. Change of plans. The Library."

"Okay."

So we dragged Legolas, most unwillingly, to the Library.

We got him on a couch, and were about to give him our propasition, when things got a bit complicated.

_Earlier........._

"I'm leaving." said Boromir "I want to know what they are up too."

"Me too." said Faramir

"Okay, Let's go."

_Back to the Library...._

There was a triumphant cry.

"I knew it!"

"Aw sh-," I started

Boromir and Faramir had appeared out of no where.

"OW!" yelled Legolas

Faramir looked like he was about to cry.

"I thought you said you didn't know where he was!"

"I don't, didn't I mean, I - we - found him." I said

"No! Not true." said Legolas "That is not true at all! ("Shuttup!") They took me out of a bar, where I was perfectly comfortable in!"

"Okay, so maybe I did find him in a bar..." I started

Faramir walked out, and Boromir followed him.

Trisher sat back and laughed.

I hit her. Maybe a bit harder than nessacary, but it did the trick, she quit laughing.

"Okay, Legolas, we have a proposition for you." I said

"Oh yeah? And that would be...?" he said

I leaned over and whispered something in his ear.

He sprung up.

"YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?" He bellowed

"No, no, no, you misunderstand me..."

"I dont think so." he said "Are you some twisted, mental thing?" he asked

"No, I just really need to check my e-mail." I said

"I dont wanna know. Really, I dont know. Just no."

"Please?"

"NO!"

"Trisha! Help me!"

"Legolas," said Trisher calmly "Do you want everyone to know about the secret export of Mirkwood?"

"How'd you know?" he asked

"How don't I know." Trisher scoffed.

"Okay, but this does NOT leave Minas Tirith. Got it?"

"Word of honor." We said

"Just, let me sleep awhile."

"Okay." Trisher turned to me "I think we better go explain some things to them."

I sighed "Can't you do it?"

"Nope, you gotta be there."

"Fine. Let's go."

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Okay, credit for 'secret export of Mirkwood' goes to TrisherNicole.

"I know a little place," said Legolas "A little place called Marijuannawood."

- The Blue Notebook, Of Cheez-its and Plans

I think that's the right credit, correct Trisha?


	23. Tag!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: I retract all statements about Trisher, Boromir, and their baby that does NOT exhist.

Happy Trisher? I hope so, this goes against EVERYTHING I stand for.

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Chapter 24

Tag!

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After Legolas got over one killer hangover, we gave him the plans.

He just stared at us.

"You actually have plans?" he asked

"I had to do something." I shrugged "So I made plans."

"More like a script." he muttered.

"How ever you want to look at it!" said Trisher cheerfully

" I don't want to look at it at all." he protested

"Fine, you memorize it, and we'll be back... iffen we don't die." said Trisher

We had put off 'explaining' to them. By them, meaning Boromir and Faramir.

I dont know why. I think maybe Trisher is actually falling in love with Boromir, though I'd never say it to her face.

"Well, were do you think they went?" asked Trisher, snapping me out of my daydream of Boromir & Trisher

"I dont know." I said airily "Maybe they're looking for us."

"I doubt it. Unless they want to kill us."

"Maybe they do..."

"You know, I hate you."

"WHAT?"

"No, I hate that you are so unpredictable, Paige."

"Oh, yeah, I am."

"No, I mean, one day, I think that you could end up 20 yrs in prison, then sometimes, you could be president. Though," she said in an after thought, "I wouldn't vote for you."

"And why not?" I asked angriliy.

"Becuase, you'd make some hot guy Vice President."

"Fine. I wouldn't vote for you either."

"Why not?"

"You're too Democrat for me Trisher, I'm Greenpeace. Nater Nation!"

Trisher rolled her eyes at me. "Hippie."

I grinned "That's why I married a Ranger."

"A Prince." she corrected.

"First a Ranger always a Ranger." I countered

She sighed

"It's getting late, maybe we should make sure Legolas didn't run off."

"Okey-doke."

"Paige?"

"Yes'm Trisher?"

"Can you act like you actually care, for a second?"

"Nope." I said happily, then I turned to Trisher "You're It!"

"You little!" Trisher started, swinging her arm trying to hit me, but I was gone.

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"I know I'll feel safer if you're fighting beside me, and I know my wife will." Odessyes - Troy

All I could think of when I heard that (cuz Odessyes is Sean Bean, the dude that plays Boromir) was Trisher.

I couldn't quit laughing.

My family thought I went nuts, well, nuttier.

BTY

Have any of you heard the song "Brass Monkey" by Beastie Boys?

Brass Monkey... That Funky Monkey!


	24. Waiting Makes Me Bored

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Thank you all reviewers, Legolas's Girl, I too am confused at this story, and Legolas has a hang over cuz in the one chapter , Trisher and I found him drinking, majorly drunk.

Yes, unconfused now?

Shout out to Trisher Nicole! Having fun with your story?

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Chapter 25

Waiting Makes Me Bored

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I raced back as fast as I could, not looking back.

I leaned up against the wall, catching my breath, waiting for Trisher to jump out, and tag me.

But that didn't happen.

I looked down for my watch, that's when I remembered, I have never owned a watch, only Trisher did.

I gave an agrivated sigh "Trisher! Where ever you are, get out here! I dont know what time it is!"

Nothing happened. I stamped my foot and flicked my hair. Still nothing happened.

Normaly that works.

"Grrr."

I stomped off into the library, I didn't need Trisher, I could pull this off by myself, she'd see.

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"I'll get you!" Trisher screamed, and stomped off after Paige's retreating back.

Trisher ran trying to catch up with her, but something stopped her.

"What's this?" said a voice "Caught in the act?"

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"I dont get this!" complained Legolas

"Will you just shut up?" I snapped

"Whyyy?" groaned Legolas "Whyyy!"

"SHUT UP!" and Legolas shut up. I am a VERY convincing person when provoked.

Legolas sat there pouting while I paced around the room.

"Can I ask a question?" Legolas asked

"What now?"

"Why are you pacing?"

I stopped and said quietly "Do you really want to know?"

"Yes?"

"Okay." I said normally "I lost Trisher."

"Oh, did you really?" he said

"Dude, I still know the secret export of Mirkwood."

"Oh." he said in a disapointed tone

"Yeah." I looked out a window, it was begining to rain. "This sucks."

"No, actually, I think rain pours." remarked Legolas

I rolled my eyes.

"Trisher," I muttered "Get here soon."

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Sorry, I need to figure out what's gonna happen.

Plus, it's snowing, and I feel like staring at it for a while....

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	25. Kidnapped, My Own Story

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer:

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Chapter 26

Kidnapped, My Own Story

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Trisher was blindfolded and dragged off to some unfavomable location.

Of course, it wasn't that bad, but Trisher kept on seeing the show Unsolved Mysteries, and kept on thinking that she was going to be murdered by some lunitic.

Not far off from the truth really, but she wasn't going to be murdered. But there was a lunitic involved.

"I'm not going to hurt you."

"Yes you are!" said Trisher "You're gonna kill me, and like bury me someplace, and they're not going to find my body for years and years, then it will be so decomposed, they won't know its me, and then they won't solve the case, and I'll be dead." Trisher was half-crying by now. And she says my imagination can run wild, at least I have never thought I was going to be murdered, but, I have never been blindfolded and kidnapped before, so that might be the reason.

There was a laugh.

"Just tell me what I need to know, and no one gets hurt."

"You told me you weren't going to hurt me!" yelled Trisher, who had a mouth, when she has a mind too.

"Meh, just tell me, what is your plan."

"Never!"

"Tell me."

"NEVER!"

"Just tell me!"

"Fine, we are going to..." Then Trisher, told the entire plan to some lunitic. Real smooth Trisher, real smooth.

Then they was a laugh.

"That's it?"

"Uh-huh." said Trisher

"Okay, then."

Then Trisher was taken back to the streets, unblindfolded, and left there alone.

She got up and ran to find me.

She caught me about ready to strangle Legolas, since I was trying to explain to him that 'sucks' and 'blows' didn't mean just what he thought they meant, and I was about ready to pound the meanings into his head.

"Paige!" she yelled

"Trisher!" I turned to her.

"I was kidnapped!" she yelled

"What?" I said dully

"I. Was. Kidnapped."

"Really?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Okay, number one, if you are going to lie, at least come up with a good one, and don't say anything, and number two, if you didn't show up soon, I would have to do this on my own, and that just wouldn't work."

Trisher's jaw dropped. "You don't believe me?"

I stared at her, and rolled my eyes "Really, I have used that excuse on my parents, and it didn't work. Okay, just, whatever, I need you to help me with this, dork." I said

"Hey! Call me a dork one more time.." said Legolas

"Shuttup Blondie." I said

Legolas sulked.

Trisher's jaw dropped again.

"You, you, just called Legolas, a _dork_, and _blondie_."

I rolled my eyes again "Really, when you have to put up with him, he isn't all that great."

I shrugged, "Let's just get him ready."

"What?" asked Trisher

"We need to give him something, something to make him look just right."

I smiled an evil grin "Something along the lines of cosemetics."

Trisher grinned back, and we both started laughing.

"What? What's coz-met-icks?"

&Meanwhile&

"I think you scared her Boromir."

"No, though, that really is a good plan."

"Yeah, I'm surprised they even came up with it."

"That part, what they are going to do with the wooden horse? Wonderful."

"Perfect."

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LoL, I love where this is going.

Cosemetics, personaly, I dont wear, unless it's like lipgloss, but that's about all I own.

NO!

Sorry, I'm watching the Pyre of Denethor scene.

Poor Faramir!

Must save him!


	26. Am I Ever Ready?

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: LoL, Trisher, did you and your smart friends have fun? I had fun in Study Hall, especially when Mr. Evil Leprechaun yelled at me for smiling. Smiling!

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Chapter 27

Yeah, Sure

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"Hey, Paige?" asked Trisher

"Yes'm?"

"Where did you get this stuff?"

I grinned wickedly

"Where did I get it? Well, I nicked some of it, here and there..."

"You didn't ..."

"It was in my pocket."

"You had lip-gloss, eyeshadow, and a compact in your pocket?"

"No, Nita left it on the counter, and I put in my pocket, I wanted to see how long it would take for her to notice it missing, the lipgloss is mine."

"Oh."

"Hey!" said Legolas "This stuff is shiny!", he was referring to my N.Y.C kissgloss.

"I know!" I said "It's like $4.00 bucks a pop though."

"Paige, I need to tell you something." said Trisher

"What?"

"Not in front of Legolas."

"Ex-nay in-nay ont-fro of-nay las-lego?"

"What!?!" yelled Trisher

"I told you, if you don't want to say anything in front of anyone, just use pig-latin."

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, I DONT SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE! NO FRENCH, NO SPANISH, NO PIG-LATIN, NO ITALIAN, NO GERMAN!"

"K, fine, chill."

Trisher and I walked away from Legolas.

"What?" I asked her

"You know when I was kidnapped?"

"You mean when you like went to make-out with Boromir and told me that you had been kidnapped?"

I asked for it.

"OW!"

"PAY ATTENTION PAIGE! I told them a part of our plan. But not all of it. I told them that we were going to take over Gondor with a wooden horse."

I didn't say anything.

"Paige?"

"That's not a half-bad idea..."

"Paige Marissa! Get your head out of the World domination clouds for a sec!"

"Okay fine, so these guys know a part of our plan, so what? I can deal."

"Really? Your not mad?"

"If I was mad, you'd know, trust me."

"I dont trust you."

I smiled

"That is a VERY good thing, Trisher."

"Excuse me!" yelled Legolas "This stuff is bothering me! Can I get this over with, and put it behind me?"

"Ready to embarrass Legolas?" Trisher asked me

"Am I ever ready for anything?"

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Sorry, this is short, I have to be off by 9:00 and it's exactly one minute to.


	27. That's Hott

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: You know you are a hickette from Cheeserock when you,

A. Wear a sweatshirt from Abercrombie & Fitch, but over top it, you were your older brother's Carhartt jacket.

B. Wear your brother or Father's baseball hat, and or cowboy hat with it.

C.Use your Ugg Boots to call in the cows, and chase horses.

D.If you go on a date that you end up at the Baseball field at the Methodist Church throwing water balloons at each other on 3rd base, and you don't even go to the Methodist Church (Trisher you know what I'm talking about, me and Brett), or you get a guy to be your boyfriend just becuase he owns horses, find out he's gay, but stay with him just so you can ride his horses.

E. If your unofficial class song is "Save a Horse (Ride a Cowboy)" or "Country Boys and Girls Getting Down at the Farm"

F. If you have a T-Shirt that says "Country Boys and Girls Party Tour" with dates of parties and where they were.

The list goes on and on

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Chapter 28

That's Hot

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Trisher and I looked at Legolas.

"I don't see why I have to wear a dress." he said

I giggled

"That's hot." I said

Trisher and I burst out laughing.

"What?" said Legolas "What's hot?"

Trisher and I just roared.

It was quit funny though, to see Legolas, wearing a hot pink dress that Trisher and I had picked out, wearing lipgloss, eyeshadow, masscara, and blush, and to top it off, we had even found him some high-heels.

With his blonde hair, if he was a less toned, he might pass as Paris Hilton.

He was running around, looking for what was 'hot'.

"Nothing." said Trisher "Nothing is hot."

"Oh," he said "Well, why did you sat that?" he demanded

"I dont know." I said

Legolas sat down on a chair in a huff. "Be more specific."

"Whatever. Do you know what you have to do?" I asked him

"I learned my lines if that is what you mean."

"Good enough." I said

Legolas stood up and walked to the door.

"Uh, Legolas, I think we have to do some fine tuning." I said

"What?" he asked

"Dude, you can't walk like that in high-heels."

"What's wro-," but he tripped and fell flat on his face.

"That's a good reason." said Trisher

Five minutes later, I was parading around the room, trying to walk the best I could.

"See?" I said "You gotta kinda shake it."

"Shake it?" he said

"Shake it." I repeated "Ready to try it?" I asked him, yanking off the shoes and handing them back to him.

"Sure." he said

He walked across the room, shaking it.

I leaned over to Trisher "Did I walk like that?"

Trisher giggled "Not really, he's exagerating."

"Let's hope Gimli likes back."

"That's bad, Paige." said Trisher

"Baaaaaaaaad and boooooooooode." I said

"You're crazy."

"Yup!" I said happily. "Let's get him there before he hurts himself. He might."

Trisher and I fairly dragged Legolas through the streets.

Several guys whistled at him.

I looked at Trisher "I guess he passes as a girl."

Trisher looked back at me "He always did."

"grrr." I said

We dragged Legolas till we got to Gimli's house.

"Okay," I turned to Legolas "If you do not want to get hurt, I suggest you do EXACTLY what the script says. Do NOT insult anyone, or anything."

"Gotcha."

"Go."

Legolas walked up to Gimli's house, and knocked on Gimli's door.

Gimli, by chance, opened it.

"And you tell me I am bad luck." I whispered to Trisher

"It's not over yet." she whispered back

"Hi," said Legolas "I'm looking for a Gimli the Dwarf." he said

"This is I." said Gimli "What do ya want?"

"Well," said Legolas, sounding like a teenie-bopper "He is like the, uhh, hot dwarf. And I would so like to meet him. And ," here he squealed "I do!"

He gave Gimli a big hug, then squealed again

Trisher and I were trying to not burst out laughing.

Gimli looked shocked "Did you say you wanted to meet me?"

"Yes! The dwarf who beat that stupid blonde elf Legolas!"

Gimli looked, if possible, even more shocked.

"I'm Galadriel's youngest daughter, by the way. And I like followed you when you were in Lothlorien, I couldn't take my eyes off you, and now, I get to meet you in person!" Another hug, then a kiss was planted on Gimli's forhead.

"Shall I show you around Minas Tirith?" asked Gimli, offering his arm, he was blushing profusely, by the way.

"Of course! I'd love it!" said Legolas

"May I enquire as to your name?"

Legolas started, we hadn't given him a name!

"My name is Galadwen." he said making up some stupid name off the top his head, derived from Galadriel.

Gimli and Legolas walked off.

"Let's move." I said to Trisher

We ran up to Gimli's doorstep and knocked

Arwen answered this time.

"Where's Gimli?" asked Trisher

"I do not know..." said Arwen "He just came to answer the door..."

"I know!" I said "I just saw him run off with a blonde elf." I looked at Arwen "She looked cheap." I said in an undertone.

Arwen's mouth dropped open. "Where did he go?" she demanded

Trisher and I grinned like Chesire cats. "We'll take you to them."

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After finding out if we ever get sent to the office, we girl's can't play volleyball, this happened....

"Josh!" yelled Mrs. Potter "To the office!"

"Ooooo" said all the girls

"Hey, I guess that's one less girl that's going to be playing!"


	28. Gimli Right

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Okay, about Brett.... You see, what happened was this: we were supposed to be helping these little kids at this Bible school (a church we don't even go to, it was for a favor), but anyway, the little kids didn't show up, and we had this Trash Can filled with ater balloons and water. So he started throwing them at me, and then we were having our own water ballon fight, and we were way out on 3rd base, when we ran out, but the Trash Can was full of water, so he picks it up and throws the water at me, it goes all over my shirt. Well, then I was chasing him, and then he like pushed me, and I grabbed his shirt, and he fell on top of me. Then this old guy came running out of the Church asking what in the name of heaven were we doing? Well, of course we hadn't been doing anything, but this old guy made us go into the church, (soppin wet mind you) and kneel and pray for our souls. Of course, as soon as he left, we ran back outside.

Good times.

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Chapter 29

Gimli....Right....

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"Where'd he go?" demanded Arwen "Where did he go!"

"Don't worry." said Trisher "We'll get you there."

Trisher and I weren't going to take her to Gimli of course.

"All right."

We weaved in and out of Minas Tirith until we arrived at the castle place that Aragorn lives in.

"Why are we here?" asked Arwen

"Duh," I said "He took her here to impress her."

"That filthy, little, creep..."

"Yeah, that's nice." said Trisher "C'mon."

We dragged Arwen inside.

We were stopped by a soldier.

"And who do you think you are?" he asked "A princess?"

Trisher and I looked at each other.

"Should I?"

"By All means."

I punched him.

We high-fived.

Arwen was shocked "Why are you so violent?" she asked

"Me?" I said "I'm not violent, yet. You should see me play basket-ball. Plus," I added "We need to get somewhere without any interuptions, and he was most definetly an interuption."

"You could have just told him who you married." she said

"Yeah, but currently, Paige and I dont know where our husbands are." said Trisher

"So it doesn't complicate things, I punch him out, no one's the wiser." I shrugged it off "C'mon we need to find him."

"Oh yes, that cheating, littly, creep." said Arwen

"Yes!" said Trisher brightly "Him."

We raced till we got to the Throne Room.

Aragorn was sitting, well, slouching in his throne.

"Him!" said Arwen, her eyes flashing.

"You!" He said sitting up. "How've you been doing?" he asked nicely.

"Why don't you go find your blonde broad and ask her how she's doing." retorted Arwen

"That hurt." said Aragorn

"Where is she by the way?" asked Arwen "Out stealing some other girl's husband?"

"Uh-oh. She better not." I said

Trisher giggled. "Shall we find out?"

"Let's."

Trisher and I ran out.

A second later, I ran back in.

"You kids play nice now! Don't hurt the King of Gondor, you don't want _Boromir_ to be king do you?"

That little comment cost me to be hit.

"She means don't hurt each other," yelled Trisher

Then we ran back out.

Trisher was laughing her head off.

"What's so funny?"

"Well, Faramir has been accusing you, and he might be the one cheating!"

"Not cool!"

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"Okay, J-Bob! Use the Yoga I taught you to be him!"

Megan telling J-Bob to use Yoga to help him in Math class.

LoL.

Did I mention I love my class?

"Let's go Dora!" (clap, clap, clapclapclap), "Let's Go Pineapple!" (clap,clap,clapclapclap) "Let's Go Josh!

Megan and I cheering on Josh, not Guppie, the other one.


	29. This is So NOT Happening

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "You know, every night, I go to bed and thank God that I no longer have any eight graders. They're are just so much trouble." - Mrs. Belzer, on our class.

Especially when Guppie asked if he could go as Pineapple to see what he saved his own project under.

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Chapter 30

So Not Happening

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"This isn't happening." I said "This is SO not happening."

"I warned you." said Trisher "I warned you."

"You did not!"  
"Did so!"

"Did NOT!"

"Did SO!"

"Will you two just shut up?!"

"You want to say that to my face?" I responded

"If you'll alow us to apologize." one said, his voice dripping with sarcasm

"Hey!" said Trisher "Paige is the Only one that is allowed to be sarcastic around here, she does it enough, no one else needs to."

"Yeah!" I said agreeing with Trisher

There was an impatient sigh.

Maybe I should explain how we got here.

You see, it wen't sort of like this:

_Trisher and I were insanely running around Minas Tirith, looking for the blonde broad, 'Eowyn', and Faramir._

_And I guess Trisher was looking for Boromir, I don't know, I'm a bit self-centered._

_But Anyway..._

_As we peeked around yet another corner, we found ourselves in a rather tough sitiuation._

_"Paige?" said Trisher_

_"Dang," I said "This is like the bad part of Flint or Lansing. Even worse than the field behind the Prarie."_

_Now, if you have never been to the bad side of Flint or Lansing, or to the red-neck bar, 'The Prarie', then you don't have a good picture. This place had been ravaged by war, and like the shadows seemed like they were going to attack you._

_Not a nice place._

_"Paige!" said Trisher in a warning voice_

_"Suttup!" I said "Dude, you need to be like quiet, I don't want to find anything, or have anything find us. Let's just turn around."_

_"Not possible."_

_"Look, I know your all miss optimism, the glass is half-full, but I'm sick of wandering around. I don't want to go ahead and never turn back."_

_"That's not why we can't turn around." said Trisher_

_"OH really?" I said turning around to face her. "Why can't we turn around?"_

_But I said that last bit slower becuase there were, people, there._

_"Hi," I said smiling, _

_They grinned_

_"This is SO not happening." I said_

_"Think again Paige Marissa." Trisher said_

_"I dont wanna." I said_

_They kept grinning._

_"Are they part Chesire cat?" asked Trisher_

_"I dont wanna think about it." I said_

_They were still grinning._

_"Let's try to get around them?" suggested Trisher_

_"Uh-huh." I said_

_"Okay." So Trisher and I tried to get around them. _

_It didn't work. They just moved, grinning of course, into our way._

_"Dudes," said Trisher "Please move."_

_"Why?" asked one_

_"Cuz I said so. "_

_"That's not a very good reason."_

_"Paige." said Trisher_

_"What?"_

_"Tell them who you are."_

_"Who am I?"_

_"Oh for pitie's sake. By Order of the Princess of Ithilien, that's her, and the Stewardess of Gondor, MOVE!"_

_"Thank you." I said._

_"We can't" they said_

_"Why not?" demanded Trisher_

_"You are no longer in a place were the rules and laws of Gondor apply."_

_"Really?" I asked_

_"Atta girl," said Trisher "Go psycho on 'um."  
"Yes." They responded_

_"Whatcha gonna do?" I asked "Kidnap us?" I laguhed "As if."_

_They looked at each other, still grinning._

_"Aw sh-" started Trisher, but we were now kidnapped. Officialy_

"You had to shoot off your mouth." said Trisher

"You encouraged me."

"If you really want to get really technical." said Trisher "You were a bad influence on me in the first place, and that bad influence influenced me to do so."

"So it really is my fault."

"Yes Paige, it is your fault that we are stuck with the Chesire people."

"If it helps," I offered "I feel really bad about kicking you earlier."

"You mean when we were actually in a real world?"

"Yeah."

"And you mean stepping on my ankle."

"That too."

"HEY!" yelled Trisher

"Yess?" asked some of the grinning people

"Can I ask why we're here?"

"Yes." they said

"Why?" asked Trisher

"Well," answered one "We normaly don't kidnap people."

"Yes, political reasons." said another

"We've been sued a few times." said yet another

"Ahhh." I said "So why us?"

"Well isn't it obvious?" one said

"Not really."

"We weren't going to kidnap you," said one "But then you told us who you were."

"Smooth move Trisher."

"Now who's fault was it that we're in here in the first place?" she retorted

"ANYWAY!" yelled one of the grinning people "We can get a LOT of money for you two, so shut up, and don't hurt each other. People don't pay for damaged merchandise."

"What!!" yelled both Trisher and I

"They better be talking about Faramir" I muttered to her

"They better not be talking about selling us as slaves."

"Why? I know my rights!" I yelled

"Really?" said the grinning people

"YES! And you are violating them!!"

"Really?"

"YUP! I am endowed with certain rights by my creator, of these being LIFE, that means you can't kill me, LIBERTY, that means that I have the liberty to leave, and PURSUIT of HAPPINESS, that means that if I want to I can go make out with Legolas if I wanted, but I wouldn't since I am happily married to an extremely HOT guy named Faramir..."

Trisher rolled her eyes

"Don't listen to her," she said "She is wacko."

"We weren't listening" they responded

"...Yeah, so anyway, these odd people are like incriminating me and like trying to get Faramir to break up with me, which is so not cool. I mean if they want a hot guy, I mean no one really cares about Lothiriel, so there's Eomer, and then Frodo, I mean get a hint, Faramir is MINE. Some people just don't get the message, am I right?"

"Yes." they answered

"Good." I said

"Now," said one of the Grinners "We need to you to right a plea to have your husbands rescue you."

"Okay." I said

Apparently, our feet were chained down, but not our hands.

_Dear Faramir,_

_Hi! I've been kidnapped._

_It's rathe funny really, becuase Trisher and I were looking for **you. **But things got a bit out of hand..._

_But anyway._

_Theses dudes, (who kidnapped me), are going to talk to you are something._

_Hope your okay!_

_Paige M.C. _

Trisher's letter was a bit different

_Dear Boromir_

_Thanks to my WONDERFUL friend, we are now kidnapped._

_Please help. _

_Trisher Nicole_

"Aw, Trisher, aren't you even going to inaquire as to how he is?" I joked

She hit me.

"HEY!" one of the Grinners yelled "DON'T HURT EACH OTHER!"

"sheesh. We do it all the time." said Trisher

"Yeah, well not anymore."

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LoL, I had to put some action in.


	30. Princes in Shining Armour, and Other Thi...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Glad fer the reviews! AR! Sorry, in a sort of piratey mood, even though I'm wearing my Cowboy Hat!  
Yo quero Taco Bell!

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Chapter 31

Princes in Shining Armour And Other Things

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"This sucks." I said

"Now really." said Trisher

Trisher and I were extremely bored.

We had tried playing cards with cards that had been supplied by the Grinners, but we couldn't make out the runes, so we couldn't play Speed, and the Grinners refused to play B.S., and of course Go Fish is so boring, we just gave up.

Suddenly the Grinners' smiles grew larger.

"People approach." said One "On Horseback."

"My Knight in Shining Armour!" I cried

"No doubt about." they said

Trisher however, just rolled her eyes.

"I thought you didn't believe in that." said Trisher

"I don't." I said, it was true, I had never liked Snow White or Cinderella. I always liked stories about pirates and cowboys that rode off into the sunset. Adventure stories, not ones were the girl gets her prince Charming.

"Then why did you do that?" asked Trisher "That is the worst cliche ever!"

"Well," I said "It feels good to be the winner for once. I mean, really, can honestly say that anyone of the preps at our school have ever been kidnapped and rescued by a handsome prince in shining armour?"

"No, but yet again, most of the girl's at our school can't stick with a guy for a week. Much less the girls that go from the entire football team to entire basketball team."

"Very true."

"Hark!" yelled a voice outside

Both Trisher and I knew who's voice that was. It wasn't my prince in shining armour, that's for sure.

"Let the damsels go!"

Trisher buried her head in her hands.

"This isn't happening.This isn't happening." she repeated that over and over like a mantra.

At that moment, she liked a bit like Darla from 'Little Rascals' when Alfalfa sings his song. I love that part.

I couldn't help but laugh.

Trisher hit me.

"This isn't funny!" she said

"I don't think it's funny either. Where's my Prince Charming?"

"Let them go!" the voice came in again

"Yo!" I yelled "They're not letting us go. May I suggest another course of action?"

"Sure!" he yelled back "Suggest ahead."

I turned to the Grinners.

Now, being a younger member of a family has its perks. For example, I shall put one into use right now.

"Please?" I asked, starting to cry. "I just miss my husband so much." I began sobbing.

"Please!" I said, falling to the ground, crying as if my heart would brake. "I just want to see him one, last time."

Then I pretended as if I fainted.

"Maybe we should just let them go." said one of the Grinners.

"Yeah," said another "That one's out of her mind."

"All right." said the Head Grinner "But if we catch you out here again, we won't be so nice."

"Thank you!" we yelled as we ran out of the door.

Boromir was outside waiting.

"Another stunning performance by Paige M.C."

"I know," I said "What can I say? I am talented."

Boromir handed us the reins to the horses.

"Thanks for saving us." I said sarcasticly.

Boromir was about to say something, but Trisher but him off.

"Be. Nice. Both of you." said Trisher

"Yup. I'll be nice. What about you Boromir?"

Boromir muttered something under his breath.

I gasped "Did you say what I thought you said?"

"What'd he say?" asked Trisher

"He said 'Women.'. I think he's sexist."

If there's one subject that Trisher is hot about, it's sexism and being sexist toward women. I am too, considering that both our father's make us do dishes, but never ask or make our brothers do it.

Trisher got mad.

"Did you?" asked Trisher

"I did not!" said Boromir

"Sure you did." I said

"What?" he said spinning around to face me, I smiled. "Her!" he yelled "She's evil!"  
Trisher and I looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Well, I know that." I said "If you're the only that hasn't figured that out yet, you are slow."

Boromir just stood there shocked.

"By the way," I said "Where's Faramir?"

"I dont know." said Boromir "Most likely drinking."

Trisher and I looked at eachother.

"Drinking, the Gondorian way to solve problems." recited Trisher

"What?" demanded Boromir

"Come on Trisher." I said "We have to make sure that Arwen hasn't killed Aragorn yet, Lord knows, Boromir can't become king..."

"HEY!" said Boromir

"Yeah, and we haven't found Eowyn yet."

"That's true."

So Trisher and I rode off, leaving a VERY stunned Boromir.

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I AM SO SORRY

This is updated REALLY Late due to Book Reports, Catholic School's week, and other things.

SORRY

I'll update faster after all those things are gone.


	31. The Hunt is On Biotch!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: LoL, so anyway...

In spanish class we had to do a color-by-number, and I went to go get a green crayon for Trisher and I to use, and I come back, and in Hot Pink, all around my color-by-number, were the lryics to "I'm a Barbie Girl".

Needless to say, I am a bit made at Trisher. Especially when I handed the Paper into to Mrs. Potter, and she was like "So Paige, you didn't put your name on it, so should I just assume your name is Barbie"

Grrrrr.

Chapter 32

The Hunt is ON Biotch!

"Okay" I said "We have to find Faramir."

"Whoa" said Trisher "No, we gotta go see Arwen and Aragorn."

"Uh, no. Faramir is First."

"Nuh-uh, you said it yourself 'We don't want Boromir to be King' so I suggest we go there first."

"You are such a dork! I mean, you don't have to worry about anyone cheating with Boromir, I mean really, and then there's Faramir, and I mean, who WOULDN'T want to"

Trisher raised her hand "I wouldn't."

"Well, you married Boromir. I think your mental."

"Uh, if I remember correctly, I didn't have a choice"

"As if."

"Well anyway, do you trust Faramir"

"What"

"Do. You. Trust. Faramir"

"Well...yeah... I guess."

"Good. Becuase we are going back to find Arwen and Aragorn."

"Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy."

"Cuz I said so."

"So? I'm older than you."

"Yeah, but I'm picking right now."

I stuck my tongue out at her.

She stuck hers back out.

"Dork."

"Geek."

"Fine." I said

"Allrigh Then." So Trisher and I went off to find Arwen and Aragorn.

_ Mean While _

"Well" said Gimli, staring deeply into Legolas's eyes "I guess this is goodnight."

"Yes! Thank Va, I mean Thank you, it was very nice." Legolas tried to avoid Gimli's trying to stare into his eyes.

Gimli leaned forward for a kiss.

Legolas pecked his cheek, mentally stabbing himself inside his head, and trying not to puke, or worse.

Gimli sort of stumbled back into his house, Legolas ran as fast as he could away from there.

All of a sudden a roar came from Gimli's house.

"WHERE'S MY WIFE"

He came out snarling, foaming at the mouth, and very red in the face, howling.

"ITS CONSPIRACY"

Thank goodness by some good grace, Gimli ran right past where poor Legolas was lying on the ground, trying to regain some sort of pride that he had had, but currently lost.

_ Back to Normal, Well, Almost Normal for Us _

Trisher and I ran in on a horrific sight. Truely, we shall never be clean of what we saw.

It was Arwen and Aragorn batting their eyes at each other.

Okay, making out is one thing, but when you are just batting your eyes at each other. Dude, just dude.

It's almost as bad as Hayden and Kenzie like harrassing eachother all day, then saying 'omg we hate each other' yeah right, they are SO meant for each other.

But anway...

"Dude! Get a Room" I yelled

"Huh" they both jumped.

"Assuming " but Trisher elbowed me. "Yes, I know what assuming does, Trisher. But anyway, where's Eowyn"

By this time, they had gone back to their little game of batting their eyes, and I think they were playing footsie, just like Jessica and Nick used to.

"Hello" I yelled

"Eowyn who" asked Aragorn

"Good job." cooed Arwen

"They aren't going to help are they" asked Trisher

"I really don't think so." I said

So Trisher and I left.

We sat on some steps.

"So" said Trisher "What do we do now"

Just then, a very rabid looking dwarf ran toward us.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU"

"Now that's something you don't see everyday" I said, as Trisher and I started running,

On the way, we ran into Faramir.

Actually, I ran into him.

"Good Afternoon" I said

Faramir looked around us, and saw Gimli

"What the "

"Dont ask! Just run" yelled Trisher

I grabbed Faramir's wrist and we started running for our lives.

LoL! Will we get chopped up and buried by the rabid Gimli?

I sure hope not!


	32. Colorful Language and Hellos and Goodbye...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: All of that Badarse 90's Sheet

Chapter 33

Hello! Goodbye!

Faramir was getting EXTREMELY suspicious of both Trisher and myself.

"Look" I said "We are running from a rabid dwarf, do I really have time for questions"

"Good point." said Faramir

"VERY good point." I said

We continued running, Faramir was leading us now, considering hey, he had lived here! Go figure.

"Quick! Over here" yelled Faramir ducking into a narrow alley.

We ran down it, but Gimli still followed us.

Faramir swore.

"Jeezus." said Trisher "His language is as colorful as yours"

"I learned from the best" he said

"I can't believe this..." Trisher mumbled

"I told you" I said "I did have some time with Faramir before you showed up."

"And you taught him to swear"

"Well..."

"I dont want to know" said Trisher

"Good. I don't wanna tell."

Trisher hit me.

"HEY" I yelled "Not cool"

"Down here" yelled Faramir as we rounded a corner.

Faramir and kept running, we did that is, until Trisher ran into something.

Trisher was on the ground.

Trisher looked up, and saw Boromir

"Hello" he said

"Goodbye" I said "Come on Trisher, we got keep going"

"Going from what" asked Boromir, just then Gimli rounded the corner.

"From that" yelled Trisher.

Boromir helped her on her feet, then all four of us started off runing down the street again.

Gotta Love it

Patriots vs. Eagles

Super Bowl 39

Lions are going to win!


	33. Your a Good Friend, TrisherNicole

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: Lions, are going to WIN! As of Monday, they are once again undefeated!

That's why I said it!

"Ain't tryin' to be no wannabe ghetto Burtlander" - Gotta live in Chesaning to get that one.

* * *

Chapter 34

Your a Good Friend, TrisherNicole

* * *

Boromir, though completely confused, and had absolutly no clue why we were being chased by a very angry dwarf, (though he suspected me), was now in the lead, trying to find a place to hide from the very angry dwarf.

"In here" Boromir fairly threw us into a dead-end ally.

"It's a dead end" I said

"Be quiet" he said

We all stood there, barely breathing, till the very angry dwarf ran past us, yelling at the top of his lungs in a different language, but I'm sure it wasn't very pleasant, whatever it was.

"Phew."

All of us were relieved. VERY relieved.

Me, being insane, started to laugh.

Everyone looked at me.

"We almost died, and your laughing" fumed Trisher

"Yes" I said "But the great thing, is we didn't"

Trisher just rolled her eyes.

"Will someone" said Boromir "Please explain to me why we were running from in the first place"

"I will" said Trisher, who then pointed her finger at me.

"What" I said "It's not my fault, not completely, Lord knows what Legolas did to get him that mad."

"Hold on" said Boromir "What does Legolas have to do with anything."

"He dressed up like a girl to go on a date with Gimli, apparently, I don't think it went over to well. Oh dear, I hope Legolas is okay, I'd feel really bad if something happended to him..." I said

"I still don't see why Legolas was going on a date with Gimli.." said Boromir

I started to say something, but Trisher started in.

"I'll get that, you see, Legolas is g-a-y, and he didn't want to tell Gimli, so we helped him dress up like a girl, and gave him some tips, and sent him off."

"That makes no sense." said Faramir

"Yes it does" said Trisher "Don't you see? Legolas is gay, so Paige couldn't of cheated on you, because Legolas prefers guys to girls, if you get me."

A sudden look of understanding came on both their faces.

"Oooooo." they said then, another look of understanding came over their face "Ooooooo."

"And I thought Josh was stupid." I whispered to Trisher.

"At least understood what the word 'gay' meant."

"Yeah."

Then something happened that really made me scared, I mean REALLY scared.

Boromir stepped forward

"I am very sorry for accusing you of anything." said Boromir

My mouth opened, closed, opened again, closed again. For the first time in my life, I was truely speachless.

"Told you he wasn't a bad guy." Trisher said

"Thank you" I managed to get out to Boromir

"Can we put all of these accusations behind us" asked Faramir

"Yes." Boromir and I said at the same time.

"Okay, Boromir meet Paige, Paige meet Boromir."

"Hello."

"Hiya."

I stuck my hand out.

"You shake it." Trisher told Boromir

"Ah."

We shook hands.

"I want you to know" I said "I cried when you died."

"I died" asked Boromir

"Nevermind." I said

"Does this mean you two won't fight anymore" asked Trisher

I bobbed my head

"Aw man" she said "That's not fair! It was getting interesting."

"Fine." I said "Be that way."

"Now, let's get out of here before he decides to come back." said Faramir.

Night was starting to fall, perfect cover, and we left.

Night, when the fun really begins...

* * *

I am VERY sorry to ALL Legolas fans, myself included.

I feel horrible!

Trisher Nicole, say nothing, nothing at all! I mean it!

MiNtYgUrL1232, gotta love my AOL screen name!


	34. My Debut and Party Crashers

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: LoL, Trisher, you will never let me sleep after you read this chapter...why I even post this I do not know...all of you will love this I'm sure...cept me...

* * *

Chapter 35

My Big Debut And Party Crashers

* * *

On return to Minas Tirith, we decided to have a little party on escaping a rabid dwarf.

Everyone was there, except a raging dwarf and the blonde broad.

We were partying and having a good time, when Faramir and I snuck out, leaving Trisher alone with Boromir.

"What are they up to" asked Boromir

"I do not want to know." said Trisher

Then Faramir and I returned, and Trisher groaned, because she knew exactly what I was going to do,and it wasn't going to be pretty, though she could black mail me to know end.

I was dressed in a dress similar to the one we had dressed Legolas in.

Trisher elbowed Boromir "How much did they drink"

"I don't know." said Boromir "What are they going to do"

"I know." said Trisher "She, they, are going to sing the MOST annoying song in the universe."

"What song"

"Ths song that I heard right before I brok my leg."

"You broke your leg"

"It was about a year ago, I was in a wheel chair, and once Paige was pushing my wheel chair down a hill, and she let go. That was not cool. And then she got me stuck in the mud."

"I see, but she tried."

"True."

I ran up to Trisher

"You won't believe this" I said

"I can't, your wearing pink."

"I know, but like we left... for some reason... but anyway, we were walking out, and we tripped over this"

I held up my old blue stereo that ran on batteries, orginaly, my sister Anita had taken it to college, and I had never seen it again.

Trisher looked at it.

"Please don't tell me you're going to do what I think you're going to do."

" I think I am, you want in"

"No."

"Sure"

"Very sure. How much have you drank" asked Trisher

"None! Not a lot. Not too much."

Trisher rolled her eyes. "And you wonder why Anita calls you an alcholic."

"No, there's a difference. But I'll discuss that later. Anyway, Ciao"

"Oh god." said Trisher "This going to be bad. Funny. But Bad."

"Okay" yelled a very drunk Eomer, who showed up for the party. "Thanks to an any- anymouse- some one we don't know, we have a music playing thing."

Everybody roared with approval.

"So, who's first" Eomer looked around, Faramir and I didn't want to go first, but no one else knew what do, or knew the songs. "You" yelled Eomer "Your turn."

Trisher banged her head on the table. "I wish I had a camera. I will so kill Paige when she's done."

Boromir looked at her "I think you've gone crazy."

Just then the music started.

The song was a very annoying song I had loved since I was a little kid, it's a dirty song, but a good song. It's started out with dialouge.

Trisher watched in horror and amusment as they started

"Hiya Barbie"

"Hi Ken"

"Want to go for a ride"

"Sure"

"Hop in"

"I'm a Barbie Girl, in the Barbie world, Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush and my hair, undress me everywhere.

Imagination, life is your creation"

"C'mon Barbie let's go party"

Boromir was stunned, but Trisher was laughing her head off at the stupidity of it all.

"I'm a blond bimbo girl in the fantasy world. Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly."

"Your my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink, kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky..."

"You can touch, you can play, if you say 'I'm always yours'."

"C'mon Barbie let's go party"

The crowd was going nuts over this performance, Trisher couldn't believe it.

"Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please! I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees." I was singing my heart out.

"Come jump in, bimbo friend, let us do it again, hit the town, fool around, let's go party"

"You can touch you can play if you say ' I'm always yours'." I really sounded like bimbo.

"C'mon Barbie Let's go party"

Everybody was cheering, including Boromir, excluding Trisher, she was still shocked.

"Oh Ken, I'm having so much fun"

"Well, Barbie, we're just getting started."

"Oh I love you Ken"

That ended the song. 'Thank god' Trisher thought.

But everybody, that wasn't drunk and on the floor that is, gave me and Faramir a standing ovation.

We kept bowing, that is, until all of a sudden a VERY uninvited guest showed up.

Gimli.

"GARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" he yelled, weilding his axe. "YOU" He pointed his axe at Trisher. "And you" he pointed his axe at me.

"Me" I asked. "No, you've got me mixed up with Legolas, see, this almost like the dress he was wearing.."

"What" Gimli growled "I JUST KISSED AN ELF, LEGOLAS AT THAT! I AM GOING TO KILLYEH"

Lucky for me, I have a wonderful guy. Faramir drew his sword.

"You will have to get me first."

"Aw" I said "My knight in shining armour" I said

"Not a good time Paige." said Trisher

Eomer chose that moment to pass out.

"Nobody move" yelled Gimli "Not till I get who I want"

Gimli charged right up to us, totaly smashing my stereo in the process.

"Hey" I yelled "That cost a LOT"

Gimli just gave me a menacing look.

I gave him one back.

"Paige" Trisher hissed "Weapon. No weapn. Who do you thinks going to win"

"Can't be that hard." I said "Since he's so SHORT"

Gimli stopped dead in his tracks.

"What'd yeh say" he asked. Everything went deathly silent.

" I said " but Faramir clamped his hand over my mouth.

"Now" he said "Would be a VERY good time to be silent. Understood"

I nodded my head.

"Good." He said

Great. We were being held captive by a man half my height. Not cool. Not cool at all.

* * *

Thank you all reviewers! I'd put your names, but I can't remember them!

TrisherNicole, Psycho Bunny, sweet-haret179, Legolas's Girl 9, Frodo 01228, I'm sorry if you aren't up here, or I misspelled your name.

just ask Trisha, I don't do names. That's why I call her Trisher. Among other things, mostly dork.

But , THANK YOU!

Without you reviewers (excluding Trisher) I would get NO emails. Except from Trisher annoying me


	35. In My Dreams

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer : "Pineapple! Buddy, you don't tell people you bought a Jessica Simpson CD"

"I didn't buy it, my Mom bought it for me"

LoL, that boy loves Jessica Simpson, it's scary! He used to have pics of her on his desk, but people found them inapropriete. (Ahem, Fishers)

* * *

Chapter 36

In My Dreams

* * *

Huh? Why was walking on a beach?

Well, I wasn't going to argue with that.

So I continued walking, until a sheep walked up next to me.

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

"Go away" I yelled at it, smacking it upside the head, and kept walking.

"Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" except this time, the sheep stood up on it's hind legs and poked me in the shoulder.

"Ow" I yelled, smaking the sheep "Bad Sheep! That HURT"

Yet, it didn't faze the sheep, it continued to poke me, and bleat, except, the bleats were becoming clearer.

"Sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. Arrrrrrrrre. Yooooooooooooooooou. Asleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep."

"What" I yelped as the sheep poked me again. "Arrre Yoou Asleeep" I was once again prodded in the arm.

This time I jerked my head up.

"Are you asleep" Trisher looked at me, then prodded me again.

"WOULD YOU QUIT" I yelled

Apparently, I had fallen asleep, and had used Faramir for a pillow.

"How" said Trisher "Do you manage to fall asleep during a hostage negotion process"

That was all too true. Aragorn had been trying to convince Gimli for some time, to no avail.

I shrugged. "Off and On switch."

"But" Trisher stuttered "Your always On"

I shrugged again. "Not my brain." I yawned, and leaned back against Faramir again.

"WAKE UP" yelled Gimli "Your supposed to be SUFFERING! Not SLEEPING"

I shrugged again.

A few minutes later, I was bored, soon my eyes began to glaze over, then they started to close...

"WAKE UP" This time it was Trisher

"Sorry" I said "I can sleep through almost anything."

That was too true, in fact, I had fallen asleep in Math class when the Fire Alarm went off, and I was still sleeping, and I woke up as the teacher was about to shut the door. Man that would have sucked if there had really been a fire.

"Please" said Trisher "They're not very interesting." She was refering to Faramir and Boromir.

"Then go to sleep." I said, yawning again.

"I can't. I can't sleep with the prospect of DYING on my mind." Trisher was raving.

"Sorry, I can't help that I deal better than you."

"Please Gimli, just let us go" pleaded Aragorn

"All right." Gimli grunted "You go. They stay."

"Hey" I yelled"Traitor"

"Yeah" Yelled Trisher "Dork" she yelled

Aragorn, Arwen, and pretty much everyone else skittered out the door.

"What's up wit dat" I said "So not cool." I sat back down, head in my hands.

"Trisher..." I turned toward her "We're gonna die"

"Oh for pities sake." said Trisher "You are not going to die. You hypocondriac."

"Yes I am"

"No your not"

"Yes I am"

"No, your not"

"YES"

"YES"

"See? I knew I was I going to die"

"BE QUIET" yelled Gimli

"Never Fear" Yelled a voice close at hand "Eomer's here"

And he was, he had still been passed out when Gimli had let them go, and now, though he still couldn't stand straight, he had a sword and was waving it around. I didn't think he could help. Much.

"Put down thy axe and let the maidens go" said Eomer

"E-O-M-E-R! If he can't do it no one can" I cheered

"Ahem." said Faramir

"Except Faramir" I said

"Ahem."

"And Boromir" I finished

Gimli just rolled his eyes, marched up to Eomer, and poked his chest.

Eomer swayed, then fell over.

'Great' I thought 'Just peachy.'

* * *

"How long does a 30 second update have to be" J-Bob, while reading his S.S assignment. 


	36. Meep!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: Lego's Girl 9, ha ha, You know it! And Yes, Trisher, SURE you blocked my e-mails on accident... right...

Psycho Bunny! Eomer's going to make another appearence here.

* * *

Chapter 37

Meep!

* * *

While we were waiting to do something, Trisher and I had a staring contest. She only won becuase my contacts were freaking out, well, they were REALLY dry, and they were itchy, so it wasn't a fair contest anyway.

I think Boromir and Faramir were having a staring contest too, but other than that, it was really boring.

I mean this was a hostage situation and we were staring at eachother till we go crosseyed! I always thought these things were exciting.

And Gimli, well, he didn't help. He just kept walking around and around,

"Just like Lappy." I commented to Trisher. Lappy, well actually, Mr. Evil Little Leprechaun is our principal, if you can't tell, I don't like him. But anyway, he does laps around our lunchroom, and it's annoying!

Trisher laughed "He does sort of remind me of him."

"Defintely." I said

Eomer meanwhile, was sleeping on the floor. Trisher kicked him a few times to make sure he was alive, and he snored so I guess he was.

"I've waited long enough." growled Gimli "No one's coming for yeh, so I might as well git this over with."

"Get what" I asked

"Kill yeh."

"WHAT" yelled Trisher and I, and we immeaditly began to plead.

"Not us, we are very important were we come from, thousands of soldiers wearing Ugg boots will come after you"

"Don't kill me! Kill my little brother! It's his fault! I swear it! Take him! No one will miss him"

Boromir and Faramir I think had just realized that we were being threatened. Again.

"Be quiet" yelled Gimli "Otherwise I'll kill yeh first"

"Meep." I said

Gimli shot me a look of death and evil.

"He's not kidding." I whispered to Trisher

Trisher made that one face at me, the one were her eyes get SUPER big and her mouth goes in a straight line, the meaningful look.

"I think he really may kill us..." I said, continuing.

Faramir elbowed me, and gave me a meaningful look, not unlike Trishers.

"Ow"

"That's it! You first" yelled Gimli

"Meep."

"Tra-la-la-laly" The doors of the hall burst open.

And there was Legolas, totaly back into his normal elven gear, except, I noted, he was still wearing my lip gloss.

Legolas pulled out his bow and shot Gimli in the butt.

"Sweet" I said

"Owwwwww" moaned Gimli

"Let's go" said Faramir

So we started to run toward the door, when we heard a giant snore.

"Eomer" I shouted

"I'm up" he said jumping up only to fall down again.

Faramir and Boromir went and dragged him out with us, and we shut and locked the doors of the hall so Gimli was trapped.

"Legolas" I said, refraining from hugging him "Where's my lipgloss" I asked

He tossed it to me. "Thank you" I said, pocketing it.

He walked up to me. "You owe me." he said "Big time." he said

I shrugged "I know. That's why I said 'Thank you!'."

* * *

LoL!

Legolas reapears! And gives me back my lipgloss!


	37. For Now

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: _Dedicated to my cat: Sockrates (Socks), who died last night during 'Desperate Houswives'_

_God Bless. Rest in Peace._

* * *

Chapter 38

For Now

* * *

"So Legolas" I asked him "Why'd you come back"

"I wanted to kill the dwarf. And you two."

Trisher and I looked at each other and Legolas laughed

"Don't worry, after I shot Gimli, I feel so much better. But you two still owe me."

"How about" Trisher suggested "That you just owe her, becuase it's always her fault or her idea."

"Hey" I said "Not always..."

"Hmmm." Trisher said "The Marker incident, or should I say Sharpkie incident"

"I prefer neither." I said

"Or." Trisher thought "What about the Security Gaurd incident"

"That's not cool." I said "I mean, you weren't even there! It was all Bridget and Andrew, and Chris, he was being really mean to me."

"Sure..."

Trisher and I continued arguing, then SHE showed up.

Yup, the blonde broad.

"Hello Faramir." she batted her eyes at him.

Oh no she wasn't. She was NOT hitting on my man.

Oh yes she was!

Trisher saw me, and grabbed my arm. "She's not worth it."

"Yeah, yeah she is." I said "Let me go" I growled. "Now"

"Not worth it." Trisher repeated "Not worth it."

"So worth it."

"Fine." Trisher let me go.

"Thank you" I said "Hello Eowyn. Have you met my _husband_? Faramir."

She gave me a look of pure poison, and I just grinned.

"Yes." she sniffed.

Trisher saw her opurtunity to pawn off Boromir.

"How about him" said Trisher "I'ma asking a fair price, absolutly free" Boromir's mouth dropped open.

"She's joking." I said, and I elbowed her.

Eowyn sniffed and then walked away.

"What's up with her" asked Faramir

"I don't know." I said giggling

Trisher shook her head at me, she knew me all to well.

"I wonder Paige..." she said

"I know, Faramir, I wonder if I insulted her in anyway"

Trisher and I just laughed, for no particular reason, then I quit.

"Wait, what if she really was trying to steal him" I whispered to Trisher

"Duh." she said "That's what we want"

"Oh...yeah."

"Paige...don't get emotionaly attached to him"

I looked at Faramir, he was so...cute!

"I think I already am." I said.

"You know you have to leave, right" asked Trisher

"Yes" I said "But not right now, so I can be attached."

"For now." said Trisher

"Yes" I agreed "For now."

* * *

Sorry if my updates are slow, if you didn't read the top, my cat Socks died last night, and I'm a bit sad.

Cya Later, Thank You Reviewers


	38. ADD DFDD, and WFDD

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer"That's Billy. His name isn't Billy. But we call him Billy. HEY BILLY" - 02' Homecoming, me and Em havin some fun with Billy.

* * *

Chapter 39

ADD, DFDD, and WFDD

* * *

Jeez, I didn't realize how different Trisher and I were.

We were sitting in Boromir's uh, I guess you could call it an office.

I was sitting upside down on a chair, I find that an easy way to think.

Boromir just thought I was crazy, but no more than usual, I think.

For instance, here I was, supposed to be listening, but instead my mind was wandering. Trisher had a rapt attention, me? I have like mild ADD. I refer to it as DFDD, Don't follow directions dissorder, my oldest sister calls it WFDD, Won't follow directions dissorder. There I go, going off track.

I have pierced ears, Trisher doesnt. Trisher is slightly shorter than I, but I am unusualy tall. She has blue eyes, mine are greenish.

Boromir was looking for something, and was talking, interesting. Not.

Trisher's fairly quiet and seems shy, I never quit talking, unless I'm thinking. I'm fairly crazy. Trisher's level headed.

I have been described as always being 'On' I don't know if that's true, hey, that's something I could think about!

Huh, Boromir looks a bit worried. Oh well, when doesn't he?

Trisher looked thoughtful. Another thing, Trisher thinks things through, I don't. I do it now, consequences don't matter to me. She plays Sax, I play Piano.

I have watched MTV since I was a little kid, I do not think Trisher has ever watched TRL in her life, though I may be wrong.

Trisher was talking to Boromir. I couldn't really see what Faramir was doing in my current position.

Another thing, Trisher deals with crisis better than me. When her dog died, she wasn't broken up at all, not that she's cold, she just deals with it better than me, who tends to walk around in a daze, such as when Elanor, my fish of 3 years died.

Again, Trisher doesn't like guys, though I did get her to admit Orlando Bloom was hot. That was a breakthrough.

She has a realitivly smaller family than I do.

She doesn't sing at the top of her lungs and dance like I do, totaly making a fool of myself.

She can do math. With me, after addition, it all went downhill. Math is like trying to read a book in forgien language, and with like runes. I can't do it. She can. Very quickly.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, I couldn't play poker with a Scream mask on my head. Trisher never seems to show any emotions, unless she's mad at me, then she tends to swear profusily, espeacially using "Phwch", which by definition means ' An angry swear word normaly directed at Paige.' something like that. Invented by Trisher herself.

But you know, it's like a matter of checks and balances with us. She makes sure I think things through, and do my Math, for the most part. I make her more crazy than she was. And teach her about hot guys like Orlando Bloom.

While I was sitting there, debating, I heard them mention my name.

I fell out of the chair, and scrambled right side up.

"Yeah" I asked, flipping my hair

Trisher smiled "Hello my kleptomatic friend" she said happily

Uh-oh. "What'd I do wrong"

"It's not what you did, it's what your going to do." said Trisher

"What am I going to do"

"Your going to steal something."

* * *

Heh heh! My talents come in handy, huh Trisher? 


	39. Doing It C Town Style

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: I am sorry for any misuse of any gangsta terms.

* * *

Chapter 40

Doing it C-Town Style

* * *

For the record, I am not a criminal.

"She's a criminal." said Trisher

"No" I said "Not really."

"Hard-core criminal since pre-school"

"Okay, those were dark times, Trisher."

"What do you mean she's a criminal" asked Boromir

Trisher grinned, and I groaned, and collapsed on a chair.

"Let's see" said Trisher "Would you like her compiled criminal record? Or a brief summery"

"All of it." said Faramir "Please."

Trisher cleared her throat.

"Pre-school, after being pushed by a girl named Jessica, she pushed her into the sandbox, lost freetime for that.

Kindegarden, she was fairly nice, but did trip Tommy while playing Girls chase Boys, and along with friends got Josh to cry when they caught him."

"For the record" I said "Josh was caught fairly"

"First grade..." Trisher began

"C'mon" I said "I am not a criminal mastermind"

"How many Firstgraders can worm their way out of Speech class" she asked, and I stayed silent.

"Second Grade, sent out to the hall for rolling her eyes at a teacher, making up a mean song about said teacher, and mouthing off to teacher."

"It wasn't all my fault, she accused me of rolling my eyes." I muttered.

"Third grade, got her first detention, was accused of throwing pinecone"

"Which I didn't commit! It was Bryce" I said

"Anyway, got her second detention for not doing her math homework. Mouthed off to teacher. Again. and then, Again."

"I didn't like that teacher either."

"Fourth grade"

"Ah dammit." I said "This was a very unfair year"

"Mouthed off to teacher, slammed Ben up against the wall for making fun of some one , accused teacher of being sexist for making her get in trouble rather then Ben, got an F on a paper on Thomas Jefferson beacause teacher could read it, then argued with teacher about it."

"In all fairness, he was an evil troll." I said "And sexist."

"Fifth grad"

I swore again. "Mrs. Conely was evil"  
"Let's see. Didn't turn in Math, got in a MAJOR argument with teacher, arguing over her Math award, and for all the students that were in choir who Mrs. Conley didn't give an award"

"See" I said "That fight was for the good of all"

"Then, continued arguing."

"Okay, so maybe I should've given up after she treatened to call the principal."

"Then, we get into her 6th grade year, when she played Basketball."

"Fun,Fun." I said, then swore again.

"Almost broke a girl's nose by throwing a basketball at it..."

"Hey, let me explain that" I said seeing the looks on Boromir and Faramir's faces. "Okay, this girl throws it at me, and it hit me on the head, and she was laughing, and I was like 'You think that's funny?' and I threw it and hit her square in the face. It almost broke her nose. Then I said 'Who's laughing now?' I was put out the rest of the game."

"Then" continued Trisher "Her and Mackenzie attacked a girl for hitting Emily. Then she got in fights with several refs.."

I was feeling a bit guilty now.

"And the list goes on and on, till we get to volleyball, where she purposely hit the volleyball on the head of a ref." she finished. "Now, 7th grade, she was pretty good, except when she closelined Jake while playing three on three basketball.And in 8th grade, she's been fairly good."

"Thank you for my criminal record." I said

"Oh" she said "I almost forgot the incident with the security guard..."

"I think that can wait till another day." said Faramir, who was looking at me warily.

"Hey, she didn't mention what good things I've done." I said "But now, about having me steal something."

Okay, so I am not a hard core criminal, but I am an excellent little thief. I don't steal things like from stores, just for fun, like stealing Trisher's notebooks, stickers, pencils, lead, books, just to see how long till she notices. But I am really good at it, I've done it for my family as well. Such as stealing my dad's coffe mug, and then he goes all over the house looking for it, then I replace while he's upstairs. Simple. If your good.

"All right." said Boromir "Some one, I'm assuming Aragorn, stole some important documents."

"Fine." I said "This is a one-time offer. I am not a proffessional thief, and I have aspirations to be one."

They all nodded.

"Okay, I need to get ready."

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, put on some lipgloss, and I was ready.

"What kind of papers" I asked

"You'll see them." he said

So we went over to Aragorn's place.

"Who's got a plan" I looked at them, then sighed at their clueless faces "I have to come up with one right"

They nodded. "Okay, then I'm going to do this right. Faramir? If you please. We are going to do this the right way, C-Town Style."

Faramir smiled and nodded.

"K" I said "First before I lift this thing, you got get fuzz to split. Then I sneak in like kid at the Prarie, Give 'em some some, lift it then leave. Then we can head back to the hood and chill."

Faramir nodded.

Boromir looked at Trisher

"You don't want to know. I dont want to know." she said

"Right." I said "Dawg, ready to roll"

"Did you just imply that I am a dog and you are going to roll me"

I put my head in my hands.

"Dawg.." I started, but Trisher hit me.

"In a language I can understand" she yelled.

"Fine, Faramir and Boromir are going to distract the fuzz, the guards, meanwhile, I'm going to get in, talk to Aragorn, steal the papers, then we leave, and go back. Got it" I asked

"What do I do" she asked

"Watch Duty." I said

"What"

"Yeah, stay out here, it if falls through, you can go get the authorities or something, be like Fish and play the race card, I don't care, just if it doesn't go down, get me, us, out of prison. K"

"Fine." Trisher said

"Let's roll." I said

* * *

Ain't no wanna be ghetto-Burtlander, fo izzle! 


	40. One of these Things, Ain't Like The Othe...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: "Paige do not try to force your hippie ways on our Grandmother." - Travis after I told Grandma meat was murder, and that we should respect the earth, of course, it was hypocritical, considering I was eating a taco.

* * *

Chapter 41

One of These Things Ain't Like The Others, One of the Things, Don't Belong...

* * *

Trisher followed me, stepping on my heels, I spun around.

"Would you quit?" I asked angrily

She just smiled.

"I should so flip you the bird right now."

"Oh yeah? Then I'd call you Austin. Better yet, I'd call you Mrs. Birdie, instead of Mr. Birdie."

"Not cool." I said "Not cool." I stopped

"Allrighty, here's your post." I said "Stand over there in the shadows, in case we are found out, you won't be. Now, what do you do if we get caught, or you get found out?" I asked

Trisher sighed "I pretend I can't understand what they're saying, and demand a translater."

"Good job. Now, go." I pointed to the shadow, and Trisher dragged herself over there.

"Thank you. Now, if some one is coming after us, wait, can you whistle?"

Trisher shook her head.

"Ummm, hoot like an owl."

"How does an owl hoot?"

"I don't know, just go Hoot Hoot. Not complicated. Try it."

"Hoot. Hoot."

"Not very convincing..."

"HOOT HOOT!"

"Much better, much better." I clapped my hands.

As soon as Faramir, Boromir, and I were out of earshot of Trisher I told them the plan.

"Okay, you two go distract the guards, but do NOT cause a lot of attention, just talk to them, or whatever.

Don't like make them call out Aragorn, or god knows Eowyn or Arwen. Got it? I'm going in, talk to Aragorn, steal the papers, and then go outside, I'll whistle when I'm leaving, and that'll be your cue to leave."

They both nodded. I nodded back, then put my fist out, Faramir understood it, and hit it, then elbowed Boromir, and Boromir followed suit. "What was the point of that?" he asked

"It sort of seals the deal." I explained. We walked into the hallway.

"Okay, go!" Boromir and Faramir

I heard them talking loudly with the guards, I made my move, and slipped into Aragorn's study, office, whatever.

For a moment, I didn't think anyone was in there, that made my job a whole lot easier. I began to casually glance at the papers, apparently, while I wasn't paying attention, Boromir has very distinctive handwriting, so the papers I was looking for looked different from the others.

I began humming 'One of These Things Ain't Like The Other', when my thoughts and paper shuffling was disterbed.

"What are you doing?" Aragorn appeared out of no where, literaly.

I giggled nervously. "Looking for you!" I said, 'Slick,' I thought 'Real Slick.'

He grinned, I guess he thought it was funny.

"Yes, I do have quite a few papers." he said, rearanging a pile.

There! On top, was very bold, block like handwriting, which stood out among the other lightly flowing script of the other papers.

I tried not to look surprised, first, you have to chill. But I was get such a rush when I'm stealing something, I swear, it's not a bad habit! I just do it to see surprised looks on my family members and Trisher. And once on MeLisa.

I flicked my ponytail. "So," he said, picking up the pile of papers, and putting them in a drawere, I winced as he shut the drawer.

'Buh-bye!' I thought 'No, don't give up!'

"What do you need?"

Oops, I needed a reason. There's one!

"I want to know about some one." Thank God for TrisherNicole!

"Who?"

"Faramir. Does he have any, uh, criminal records?" I said, hoping that he would have to go back and get something, and I could get in the drawer and get some papers.

"I really don't know." said Aragorn, baffled by this question. "He seems like a nice guy." he said

"I know, but I seem like a nice person, but I have black marks on permanent record miles long. And everbody has a wild streak, right?" I said

Aragorn shrugged "I suppose."

I bobbed my head. 'C'mon! Leave! Go look for some papers or something!' I shouted silently in my head.

Aragorn shrugged "I think maybe you should ask Boromir."

My head dropped down, he was never going to leave. "Boromir doesn't really like me." I said

Aragorn sat down in his chair, and leaned back "Doesn't he now?" he thought aloud.

I rolled my eyes. "No, he doesn't. That's why I came to _you, _the _King, _of Gondor. You're not some_ Steward_." I said

I got to flatter Aragorn, and insult Boromir, talk about killing two birds with one stone!

Aragorn smiled and I was resolved to continue to flatter him.

"You know, you are most likely the best King I have ever met?"

That wasn't a lie, I had never met a King before.

"You must be joking..."

"No! I met Eomer, but he was rather drunk, so I don't want to go into that."

Aragorn nodded his head.  
Just then, several loud bumps came from the hallway.

Aragorn sat up, and ran to the doorway, then into the hall.

I sprung at the chance, wrentching the drawer open, I grabbed all the papers (there was only like 4 or 5), folded them up, and put them in my back pocket. If you looked they sort of stuck out, but any man that looked there, was going to get a black eye or worse. I shut the drawer, then ran out into the hallway.

There in the hallway, Faramir was standing over one of the guards, with his fist out.

"You want to say that again?" he asked

Boromir was kicking the other one, and was saying just about the same thing, except it was more like this:

"Say.(kick) That. (kick) Again. (kick)."

I walked out into the hallway, and gave a loud whistle, and jerked my head, and started running.

Aragorn stood there, totaly unsure of what was going on, and Boromir and Faramir followed me.

When we got to the entrance way, I heard Trisher give a half-hearted "Hoot. Hoot."

"Holy ," I said as I ran out into the entrance way, and ran into the shadow, colliding with Trisher

"What the hell?" I asked "No one's here!"

"I was practicing." said Trisher "Seems like I did a good job."

"Let's go." said Faramir "Aragorn will come to his senses soon enough."

I snorted, I highly doubted that.

But nonetheless, we left, and raced back to Boromir's office thing.

As soon as we got back, I pulled the papers out, I figured I had stole them, so I had a right to look at them.

My jaw dopped. Then I bit my tongue, rolled my eyes, sighed. Counted to ten, then yelled.

"BOROMIR!"

* * *

I hate Lent. I eat Mac and Cheese every Friday, or PB and J, or occasionaly tuna, cuz fish is murder.

"You're not a vegetarian!"

"Well, I wake up every morning wanting to be, but by lunch, I'm a goner. Except on Fridays in Lent, then I am forced to be a vegetarian."

- Me and my Dad on me being a vegetarian.


	41. GIRLYMEN!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: I love Volleyball! Though, I wanna kill Mr. V, I hate him! I says I'm

(Bear with me), inelidgable. I can't play becuase of ONE grade.

F'n Math!

* * *

Chapter 42

Girly-Men!

* * *

"Boromir!" I yelled.

I was not a happy camper. I don't even like camping, so I wasnt happy to begin with.

"Boromir!" I yelled again

"What?" he asked

"This!" I said, waving the papers around. "This!" I was not able to talk in intelligble sentances, except, unlike when Trisher is frustrated, I can at least say realy words.

"What about it?"

"What about it?" I repeated "You made me steal this! I could have told you this."

"What is it?" Trisher peered over my shoulder. I handed her the papers, her eyes skimmed them, then she burst out laughing.

"I can't believe this!" she said "Can not believe this!"

She looked at Boromir, then the papers, then laughed again.

I rolled my eyes.

"I don't find it funny." I said flatly. "I think it's stupid." I threw the papers at Boromir, very meanly.

"Be nice." said Trisher

I looked at her. "Be nice?" I said "I just stole something- from a king, mind you - and could've gotten caught!"

"I had faith in you." said Trisher.

I smacked her "You just had faith in me! Miss Hoot-Hoot!" I was a bit angry.

Trisher smacked me back, and stuck her tongue out.

So I stomped on her foot, her right foot mind you.

"IDIOT!" yelled Trisher, who in turn kicked my shin.

"Quit it." said Boromir, who seperated us.

Trisher and I were still, ahem, growling at each other.

Boromir rolled his eyes "If we could return to civilization?" he said

"Fine." Trisher and I decided a draw was okay.

"Now," I said "About those papers!"

I was highly upset. Not about what the papers said, well, that too.

Oh yes, I forget, you can't see this stuff!

The transcripts, becuase that's what they are, transcripts.

Am I confusing you? I'm confusing me.

Okay, now, what you really want to know:

The papers were copies from the blue notebook.

Hang on, it's _The Blue Notebook_

It deserves italics, I highly enjoy speaking in italics.

"I still can't believe you!" I said to Boromir " I know all that, shi, crap, by heart. I mean really, I practicly have said or gave her the idea for everything in that notebook in the first place!"

Trisher still thought it was hilarious.

I stormed out.

"Stupid Boromir." I said kicking a rock, which only succeded in making my big toe hurt.

I noticed out on a field, a bunch of soldiers were uh, I dunno, training I guess.

I sat down nearby to watch them.

"You're a bunch of sissies!" I yelled "Sissies!" I yelled again, to emphasize my point.

In an after thought, I yelled out "Girly Men!"

"Why are you insulting my soldiers?" demanded a voice behind me.

"Well," I said turning around, "For one, none of those so called men, could NEVER run like Coach made us."

It was Boromir standing behind me.

"Really? Who is this Coach person."

"Coach is Coach. He will always be and always has been. He is. He is Coach."

Boromir looked at me. "Whatever you just said, I do not understand. But I will make a wager with you."

"I'm listening. Though, I refuse to bet a dollar, last time I did that with Fish, and I lost, and used the dollar for a bookmark, and I had to look at it ALL day."

"You run my soldiers through your, ah, regime. See if they can do it, for I have faith in them."

I smiled wickedly "They'll need all the faith they have. What are we betting?"

"You pick."

"Fine, you win, you get all acess to _The Blue Notebook. _I win, well, I get bragging rights. Deal?"

"Deal." We shook on it.

"SOLDIERS!"

The soldiers lined up in front of us.

"Meet your new trainer." he siad

I waved "Howdy!"

* * *

Review from Trisher Nicole...

**You looked that hard for your volleyball kneepads? You are nuts my friend, really and truly nuts. Now, I ought to be doing my Math, but SOMEBODY had to go and be a bad influence! You ought to be proud... USE YOUR NOODLE! CARBS HELP YOU THINK! WO! GO CARBS! **

Take a wild guess who the bad influence is.

(raises hand and looks around for others to raise hands)

Wow, it's really wierd to think of Trisher as Trisha Nicole.

Wierd!

By the way, Ms. Trisher, you are not in ADVANCED English. Retard. You are in normal english. Retard.

The only reason my class is, was, in remidial English was cuz we had Mr. Wally-World, and you had Mr.Newport.

Luck Son of Phwchs.


	42. Bear Walks, Burners, and Star Shuffles

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: Heh,heh, those poor soldier boys, they are going to go through the work-out of the century!

Ha HA! BTW, have you ever ran any of these drills? Burners are also called 'Killers', if you have, tell me in your REVIEW, and I'll list you and sympathize.

Oh yeah, and Trisher, since your in advanced English, tell me what tenses I used in my Coaches' line.

Beat that!

* * *

Chapter 43

Bear Walks, Burners, and Star Shuffles

* * *

"Okay." I said "You may call me Coach. Coaches were, Coaches are, and Coaches will always be. You do what I say, when I say it. Got it?"

They all nodded.

"Good. Now, have you guys stretched yet?"

They shook their heads.

"WHAT?" I said turning to Boromir "You have them running, but they haven't stretched? Idoits." I said "Fine, that's first then. Everybody sit down."

So first they stretched, I did not want anyone getting hurt.

"Okay, your pick. You wanna do drills from Basketball, Volleyball, or Football?" I asked, then added "If you guys think your tough enough, I'll let you do one of each."

They all yelled for one of each.

"Fine. You can do Football first. Let's see if you guys can do a Bear walk, there and back."

I pointed to an oak tree that was about from where we were, was about the size of a b-ball court.

I showed them how to do a Bear Walk, or a Bear Crawl.

First you stand and lean over like you are going to touch your toes, but instead you put your hands in front of you, on the ground, then you walk.

I have never laughed so hard in my life.

They got like two steps, before they'd fall over.

I was rolling with laughter, and Boromir was cringing as his troops failed, horribly.

"Okay!" I yelled "OKAY! That's enough. You guys are pathetic! Ready to run some burners?"

For this, I had to draw some lines. I got a stick, and dragged it in the ground, so an aerial veiw would look like this:

WHERE WE ARE

... LINE 1

... LINE 2

... LINE 3

... LINE 4

TREE

"Okay, if you guys can't complete this, there is no hope. First you run to the first line, run back here, then run to the second line, and back, and do the same for the third and fourth. See if you can do five in a row. Now!"

And they took off running.

It was very sad, they were panting by the time they got to the third line.

"C'mon!" I yelled "I know girls half your age that could run those all day!"

They were still panting, and they had just finished one.

"Okay," I said "I won't make you run the rest, but this one, you have to do all of them.

I picked up my stick, and went up using Lines 1,2,3, and drew X's.

**.X1...X6**

**.X2..X5.**

**.X3...X4**

"Okay, I said. Start at the X farthest left, then go to the one on Line 2, then to Line 3, then go to the one at the end of Line 3, then to the one on line 2. Get it? This is called a Star Shuffle, so I expect to see you shuffling. At each X, touch it, then go to the next one. And watch out for one another, do this 3 times, at least. Go!"

And they took off shuffling.

They did actually all right on this one. They ran into eachother a few times, but no one was hurt.

After they ran three, they collapsed on the ground.

"All right." I said "Go get a drink, and shower, and do whatever you do. Just so you know, you have completed three exercises, the last two are required by Coach for _girls _basketball and volleyball. Now, get out of my site, before I make you play them."

And they all ran off.

"You won." said Boromir

"Don't worry about it." I said "Girl's sports are much worse than anything they are ever going to do."

"Why do you say that?" he asked

I looked at him "Girls are mean. You think you've seen war? Go to a Catholic School's Girls Basketball Game. Especially if it's my team. We are real scrapers."

"I see." said Boromir, even if he didn't.

Trisher and Faramir ran up, just to see the last bit of soldiers limp off the field.

"What did you do?" Trisher asked me

"Just ran 'um through some drills." I said grinning "Turns out they aren't as strong as a bunch of girls."

Trisher rolled her eyes "Of course they're not." she said

I shrugged "I had to prove a point." I said

Trisher rolled her eyes again. "Do you ever have a point?"

"No," I said "Never."

_5 seconds later..._

"Well, that was pointless." I said

"Yeah." Trisher agreed.

* * *

Well, that was utturly pointless

I'm our of ideas! What should happen next...

If ANYONE suggests for me to write a sequal to 'You Could Have Caught Me' I may just scream, really guys, I will, don't worry! But I need to finish this first, I already have the first chapter of it written, but I want to finish a story first.

K? now, REVIEW! please and Thank you!

RIP, Raul

LONG LIVE Wilson!


	43. It Is, It Really Is

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: Ha! Almost all of you, with exceptions, (cough TRISHER cough) know what I'm talking about! yeah! But, I loved Coach List, not like that Trisher, he was an awsome Coach, he thought it was funny when I got a technical, and numerous fouls. He didn't find it funny when I almost broke a girl's nose. No, he was very frustrated at that.

* * *

Chapter 44

It is, It really Is.

* * *

Trisher and I were wandering, aimlessly, as per usual.

"I've been thinking." I said

"Oh my god!" Trisher yelled "It's the Apoc- Apoc, what's it called?"

"Apocolypse, and no, I was thinking about the song I sang. It coud've been worse."

"How so?"

"I have two songs in mind that, one's dirtier, and one's more annoying."

"What songs?"

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"... I guess..."

"Good. Get Ready!"

"Oh god, you're going to sing. Aren't you?"

I nodded my head.

"_On a Monday, I am waiting _,"

"For Friday!" added Trisher

"_On Tuesday, I am fading_,"

"Waiting for LOST to come on, no doubt."

"_By Wendsday, I can't sleep-"_

"Becuase your watching LOST!"

"Then the phone rings, and I hear you. In the darkness is a clear view ,"

"You turned the light on and put your contacts in."

"Fine." I said "Be that way."

"What's the other one?"

I giggled "This is the dirty one."

"Fine."

"_You make me want to La La, in the kitchen, on the floor, I'll be your French maid_..."

"That is bad."

"Yeah, you can thank Megan for that song."

"Who sings those?"

"Ashlee Simpson, you know, the girl that lipsynced, then blamed her band?"

"Oh yeah, you told me about that."

"Yeah."

Then for once, we were both quiet.

"Omygod!" I said "Did we just have a lul in the conversation!"

"Yes!"

"Are we," I asked in a quiet voice "Are we, becoming bored of each other."

Trisher shook her head "No, trust me, Paige, around you, nothing is ever boring."

"I don't know, Mackenzie..."

"Mackenzie is a power hungry dictator, we decided that."

"You're right."

"So, what do we do now?"

"I want to sleep."

"You always want to sleep." Trisher rolled her eyes at me.

I yawned "So? I enjoy sleeping."

"Yeah, so much you almost slept through a fire drill."

"I almost forgot about that!" I laughed "That was bad."

"Fire?" Faramir and Boromir appeared behind us. "Where's the fire?"

"No fire." said Trisher "Just Paige admiting she has an unhealthy sleep pattern."

"I do not." I said

"Dude, you fell asleep during a fire drill. What if it was a real fire?"

"Well, I would have woken up."

"You could've died!" said Faramir

I just rolled my eyes. "You guys aren't my mother. If I choose to stay up till 3:00 one morning, and wake up at 6:00, that's how I sleep."

Trisher grinned suddenly, then went to a serious face. "Paige, I think you have a problem."

Uh-oh. NO WAY am I going through a Detox again. Or anything of that sort. Especially one provided by Trisher.

"No!" I said "No! I am fine."

"No," Trisher said "The first step is admiting the problem."

"I don't have a problem."

Boromir and Faramir looked at each other. "Denial." they both said.

"Fine, if I do, can I just skip to step 12? Spend 24 hours with my addiction? I think I can sleep for 24 hours."

"No," said Trisher "That's not the point, you have to go from 1 to 12. No skipping."

"Why me?" I whined

"We care about you." said Trisher, but I knew she wanted to burst laughing.

"Trisher." I said through gritted teeth. "Quit it. Now."

"I will not quit! I will not watch you become a hobo becuase of your addiction!"

"Dude, I have an irregular sleep pattern, I'm not a druggie, or an alchohalic. Like some here."

Trisher hit my arm.

"If you really want to care about some one, go see Emily, did you see her? She's gone Goth."

"No." said Boromir "You're our first project."

"Okay," said Trisher, "You two can help me. Why don't you go... do something."

So Faramir and Boromir ran off. As soon as they were out of site, Trisher burst out laughing.

"It's not funny!" I said,

"It is!" said Trisher "It really is!"

* * *

Inside joke about the alchohalic. You know, don't you Trisher?

BTY, I have nothing against Ashlee Simpson. Really, I don't. Nothing.


	44. Good Samaritans

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: "Go to college, a University. Get a real job, that's what they said to me. But I could never live the way they want." - The Anthem

* * *

Chapter 4

Good Samaritans

* * *

"I want to go to sleep!" I pouted.

"No!" said Trisher "What's the second step?"

I sighed "Facing the ones you've hurt. Or something like that."

"Okay..." Trisher thought for a second. "Let's skip that one. What's next?"

"I don't know. I know step 12!"

"All right, fine, we'll skip a few."

"I have to spend, locked in a room, 24 hours with my addicitions."

Trisher grinned "That'll work."

Next thing I knew, I was being locked in a room.

"Trisha!" I yelled "LET ME OUT!"

"I prefer Trisher, and no, I'm not going to. Paige, you have to kick this habit." Trisher replied

"Fine." I leaned against the door and sat down, and began banging my head against the wooden door.

_BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG_

"WILL YOU QUIT!" yelled Trisher

"Grrrr." I groused around the room, bored.

Nothing. There were no good books, not that I could see, nothing fun. Nothing.

"Can I have something to do?" I called

"No. You have to focus on your addiction."

"Fine."

I had to focus on sleeping, eh? Well, that was fine by me.

I curled up in a corner, yawned, blinked, then slowly fell asleep...

"ARE YOU SLEEPING?"

"HOLY SH," I yelled jumping up "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" I screamed at Trisher

"You can't sleep." she said through the door.

'Fine' I thought.

Then I noticed a door. I opened it, turns out I was on a second story balcony. Sweet.

"Trisher?" I called "I'm going to be quiet now, okay?"

"You better not be sleeping in there." she said

"I won't be." No, not in there.

I walked out to the edge of the balcony. It wasn't that far to the ground, but chances were, I'd break my neck and die.

Not cool.

Okay, so how do I get out?

Hmmmmmmmmmm.

Hey! There's people down there.

"Hey!" I yelled quietly "Hey!"

A guy looked up. "Yes?"

"Hi. I'm being held prisoner here. Could you by any chance get a ladder, and get me down?"

He nodded his head and ran off.

'Oh he better come back.' I thought

Sure enough, a few minutes later, a ladder silently hit the balcony.

I climbed down it quickly.

"What do you want for your services?" I asked him "I don't have any money, well, not on me."

He just shook his head. "Nothing." and walked away.

Funny, I never thought Good Samaritans really exhisted.

Now, the question was, what do I do now?

So I , as usual of course, wandered off.

But of course, I have bad luck.

The first person I ran into (literaly ran into) was Faramir.

"What are you doing here?" he asked

"I'm..." I thought for a second, to tell the truth, or not to tell the truth? "I..."

Aw, I can't lie to that face. "I just escaped Trisher. Please don't make me go back!"

He looked down on me with pity. "She's crazy isn't she?"

I nodded my head vigorusly "Very. Positively loco."

"Let's go before she finds you."

And Faramir and I ran off.

* * *

Question:

What's your anthem?

Mine is "The Anthem" or "Welcome to my Life."

Never lose your Anthem!

GAH! Help me! I can not remember who Sean Bean played in Troy! God, it's bugging me!


	45. Like, The National Guard, Or Something

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: THaNK You! it was Odyessus. Sorry, I was reading about Troy, and he wasn't even there! that guy who's name starts with a U that I can't spell was.

* * *

Chapter 45

Like, The National Guard or Something

* * *

"Come with meI know the perfect place." said Faramir

So I followed him.

"Here we are!" he said

It was a little stream with sand around it. It was so cute!

"Awww." I said "C'mon let's wade!"

"Wade?" he repeated

"Yes! Wade. Haven't you ever waded before?"

"No..."

"Well, there's always a first."

I was already on the ground pulling off my tennis shoes (my fav pair, white with bright green laces)

And then I pulled off my socks. It was my unlukcy fortune that they were my fav pair, pink and black, one said "Mrs. Bloom" the other "Mrs. Depp".

I looked at them, and shoved them into the toes of my shoe

"C'mon!" I said

Faramir sat down and took his boots off, I double cuffed my pants. I took off my hoodie, so I was just wearing my 'Hartley Nerds, Pick 'Em Up!' T-Shirt

I splashed into the water.

I turned around, Faramir was standing on the beach

I giggled "Can you swim?"

He sort of froze.

"No!" I said "You have to know how to swim!"

"No, not really..."

"Well, you can't really drown in a stream. Plus, I can dive and pick up a brick at up to 10 feet, after that, well, I can't really dive down to 12, but this stream isn't even that deep. Just walk in."

Faramir still looked unsure.

"Watch." I said I walked out of the stream. "See?" I said and then I walked back in.

"Not hard, I promise, nothing will happen."

"Nothing?"

"Nothing."

Faramir slowly stepped in.

"Nothing bad happened!" he said

"No." I said

"Ha ha! This is fun." he said

Then I splashed him.

"Ah!" he said, then splashed me

"Ah!" I slipped on a pebble and fell in the water.

"Let me help you up." said Faramir, extending his hand.

"Sure." I grabbed his hand, then pulled him in.

He sat up sputtering. "What was that for?"

I laughed and shrugged "I didn't want to t be the only one to walk back sopping wet."

Faramir and I both stood up. We splashed around for a while, until the sun started to set.

We walked out of the stream, I wrung out my hair and T-shirt.

I grabbed my tennis shoes, knotted the laces, and tossed them over my shoulder.

"You're going to walk bare-foot?" he asked

"Yup." I said

"All right." he said, relacing his boots.

"Trisher's gonna kill me." I said

"Why?"

"Why? I've been missing. You should have seen her when I went home sick one day! She had to hang out with the sevies, the seventh grade girls, but, hey, this may be good for her. But most likely she has like, sent the National Guard or something. She has to have suspected something, it's been to quiet, hell, I even talk in my sleep."

"We better go then."

It was all to true.

_Earlier that Day..._

_"Paige?" Trisher banged on the door "Paige! You better not be sleeping!"_

_Trisher unlocked the door, and barged in._

_"Paige?" Trisher ran around, but I was gone._

_Trisher ran downstairs and ran into Boromir, nuch in the same fashion as I ran into Faramir._

_"Do you know where Paige is?"_

_"Do you know where Faramir is?"_

_They both looked at each other._

_"She's up to something." said Trisher_

Faramir and I entered the city laughing and talking.

Then we ran into Trisher and Boromir.

"Where have you been?" asked Trisher

"God Trisher, don't go cronk or anything."

"I do not know what you just said, Paige Marissa, but it didn't sound good."

I rolled my eyes. "You sound like my mother 'Paige Marissa, I don't know what you just said, but I don't want you to say it- no I don't care what it means, just don't say it.' ".

"Where have you been?" asked Boromir, we were mostly dry, except for my hair.

"Swimming." I said "Well, it didn't start out that way. It evolved from wading to swimming."

Trisher snorted "Sort of like you and Brett starting out just having a water balloon fight then ending up on third base?"

"Not cool." I muttered

"Who's Brett?" asked Faramir

I sighed "Just a summer ago. It was nothing. He's just a friend. No more."

"Oh."

"Don't give me that look, Trisher." I said

I hated that look. It was Trisher's own look, though, it greatly resembled my Grandma Eileen's look.

it was a Paige-You-Just-Did-Something-Or-Were-About-Too.

Trisher smiled, that stupid look was always true.

"Never." she said "C'mon. I have to talk to you." she said

So I followed Trisher into the library, were we had taken up residence.

"So," said Trisher "How are you feeling?"

"On top of the world." I said flopping on a couch.

"Good. Good." said Trisher

"Hey, do have like a towel or something?" I asked "Maybe some more clothes?"

Trisher nodded and walked away. "Do you know, something else showed up after you two left.

"Really?" I asked, just then a mint green towel hit me in the face.

I say up. "Hey!" I said "This is my towel!"

Just then something dark green was flung across the room, I ducked just in time.

"That's my suitcase..." I said standing up and leaning over it.

It was, it was my old evergreen duffel bag, complete with the littled keychain that said 'CMU LIL SIS', given to me by Nita, when she went to CMU.

"Huh." I said, unzipping it, looking through it. I pulled out a bunch of jeans, some wadded T-Shirts (I don't fold things), some socks...

"Hey," I said "Are we planning to stay here for awhile?"

"Apparently some one, or something, thinks we should."

"Huh." I repeated. "These jeans don't look too bad do they?"

I held up one of my favorite pair of jeans, hand-me-downs, of course, with two very worn knees, naturally faded, of course, with one belt loop missing, and very ragged on the ends were Anita had cut the cuff off because she is so short and the pants were too long.

"Hmmm." I said, wriggling my finger through a hole at the bottom.

"Is that all your concerned about?"

"For the moment, yes."

Trisher sighed "You know, I was really worried about you."

"Really?" I asked

"Do you know, I was stuck with Boromir? Do you konw what we did?"

I grinned wickedly and tossed my jeans back in the duffel. "I could make a VERY good guess..."

"You are not going to finish that sentance." said Trisher "And you and your dirty little mind can give it a rest, actually, we looked for you too, until we got back, and tripped over these bags. Well, mine and yours."

"Oh look! My tooth brush!" I said, back in my duffel, I pulled out a emerald green tooth brush. "Look at that, I've been looking for that, haven't used it since Hartley."

"Paige, that was like, a year ago, if not longer."

I shrugged "I am not a very good cleaner. And it looks clean. You know, I think I am going to change."

I grabbed some a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, and my brush.

I ducked behind a shelf, returned 5 minutes later.  
"Watcha think?" I asked, spinning around as if I were a runway model.

"Very nice." said Trisher sarcasticly.

I was wearing my worst pair of jeans, the ones with both knees blown out, a very large gras stain from when I was playing soccer with my family, and with maybe two beltloops, all the rest had been torn off in some long ago battle, and there was a little blue glitter star, well what was left of it, on the back of my knee, and 'Manda was here' in very worn red sharpie on the left bottom. And my '59 Mustang shirt. My hair was pulled back in a ponytail.

"Hey! You changed too!" I said

It was true, Trisher had put on an Aero Monkey Sweatshirt.

Trisher rolled her eyes. "Very nice."

"Sorry," I yawned "Hey, I'm gonna crash now."

"That's sounds good."

I flopped on one couch, and Trisher on the other.

* * *

"It's my mother. If I'm not home, she like calls out the National Guard." - Jazz, Define Normal

That's not the direct quote, but it's something like that. That's SUCH a good book!


	46. Hartley Nerds, Pick 'em Up!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: First of all, thank you Legolas's Girl, Secondly, XD Trisher, your right, it was more like two years ago. And that is NOT alarming...it's alarming that you can remember that! Sadly, reviewers, Poor Trisher didn't go to her third year of Hartly, due to her leg and wheel chair. Hey! We had fun! Remember when I pushed you down a hill, and let go? Or when I got you stuck in the mud! Good times...

* * *

Chapter 46

Hartley Nerds, Pick 'em up!

* * *

"Trisher?" I whispered "Trisher!" I whispered a bit louder.

When she didn't move, I threw a pillow at her.

"What the Nepo?" Trisher yelled sitting up.

"Hi!" I said "Good morning!"

"Ughhhhhhhhh." Trisher flopped back down.

"Trisher..." I moaned "I can't sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. What time is it?"

Trisher glanced down at her pink Nike watch.

"Uhhhhh 5 :30, I think."

" Trisher. Do you remember Hartley?"

"What do you think?"

"Yes?"

"Yeah."

"I miss Hartley!"

"I don't."

"Why? Three days off school, watching 'Little Rascals' everynight, okay, so the food wasn't that great..."

"Two words." said Trisher

"Don't say them." I said "Please don't say them!" I pleaded

"Confidence Course."

"Ugh." I let out a sound of disdain. "I hated that."

See, at Hartley they had the 'Confidence Course'. Don't get me started on the horrors of that.

"You had to bring that up, didn't you?" I asked

"Yes."

"Well, I want you to know, I had a lot of friends that didn't like the confidence course, and then there was that one John kid, that thought he was all that, till I messed with me, then he spent the rest of the day in the boys dorm."

Trisher laughed "No way."

"Yeah, he called me witch, so I told him to say it my face, Dork boy, and he just stared at me, I made a step toward him, and took off running. Matt thought it was funny as all get out."

"Matt?"

"Yeah, Matthew and Jonathan, twin brothers. Matt was an extrovert of sorts, and Johnathan was sort of an introvert. Then we girl's man, our dorm was always pumping. I mean, once before the teachers came in, we were all talking an having fun, and Lydia was doing cartwheels, then the door opened, and Lydia jumped into her bunk, she was on top, and she cracked her head on the boards. It was so funny, she had the biggest bump on her head. She was like 'I must have done it in my sleep'."

"I remember that."

"Yeah, do you remember that one lady? That like sat there and waited and just sat there, staring at us? She creeped us out."

"No, I don't think I remember..."

"It was when you there."

"Oh well."

Hartley, is an out door nature camp, that we go to for three days, three years in a row. It's always so much fun. We go with a bunch other different schools.

"Hey!" I said "I think the suns up! Do you know what that means?"

"I can go back to sleep?"

"No silly, daytime is for the living! And the night, but there is no place to go at night here."

"How 'bout running off with Faramir."

"Is that an order?" I asked

"No!" yelled Trisher

"So, what should we destroy today?"

"I'm thinking just Middle Earth in general."

"Sounds good."

"But first, even Hitler had to have a healthy breakfast."

"Is that all you ever think about?"

"Hitler or breakfast?" asked Trisher

"Hitler. Retard."

"Oh, Miss Sarcastic, no I do not think about food all the time."  
"Sure..."

"Hey! Better than you and Orlando Bloom!"

"We've already discussed this..."

"ONE-TRACK MIND!"

Trisher and I got up.

"Freeze!" I yelled

"What?" asked Trisher "Is there a spider? Is there a spider? I bet there's a spider!"

I walked over to her, and pulled a fuzz off the floor.

"What?" asked Trisher

I giggled and held it up. "Hartley Nerds," I said "Pick 'em up."

* * *

Sorry, I couldn't think of what to do.

Anyway, at Hartley, we had dorm inspection like, what, three times a day? Morning, Noon, and Night.

And this one guy always looked for these little itsy bitsy bits of fuzz, and he called them Nerds.

Thus the saying "Hartley Nerds, Pick 'em Up!" came about.

Yeah, once the boys lost, cuz they stole 3 vaccums and used them, we are supposed to do it on our own. The Three Years I went, girl's one all the dorm inspections.

BTW

FIRST GAME TOMORROW! GO BLUE! GO GO GET 'UM BLUE!

Wish me luck

#12


	47. Our Short, but VERY Grand Adventure Part...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer:

**bugginout1232**: FEAR ME i am a giant squirrel that feasts,

**eekerrs:** _on Fabrico!_

**bugginout1232**: upon pirate slash french man.

**eekerrs**: _poor Fabrioco!_

**bugginout1232**: especially those named fabrico!

Physcho Bunny, can you believe it? Troy was nominated for an Oscar!

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Chapter 47

Paige and Trisher's rather short, but Grand Adventure Part 1

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"Hey Trisher." I said, hitting her arm.

"What?" she asked

"What if,"  
"Oh no." said Trisher

"What if, we take over the world?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.

Trisher was sitting on the coach, I had been sitting on the floor, as usual.

"Well, it has to do with everything!"

"How?" that was Trisher's normal answer.

"Well, all because of your want for World Domination, I am married to Faramir." I said

Trisher rolled her eyes. "You brought that on yourself. I offered you Captain Jack Sparrow or Will Turner. It was you who said Faramir."

"As a joke."

"But I take you seriously."

"I know." I said flatly "Anyway. How 'bout we just run away. Try to take over Middle Earth, and if we fail, meh, not on our permanent record."

"Paige, you are evil."

"Not as evil as I could be. Or as you could be."

"I know, now how should we split this up?"

"I want Gondor. Maybe Rohan."

"You see, I want the Shire, I love those little hobbits, I can use them to prop stuff up, and I could put my arm on them. But I want Rohan too."

"Okay, so we split up Rohan, half for me half for you. You can have the Shire, and I can have Gondor. Now, what about Dol Amroth? Rivendell? Mirkwood? Mordor?"

"You can have Mordor. And Mirkwood. I hate spiders."

"Me too. But I like Rivendell!"

"Fine. This is going to be more complicated then when you only wanted France and England."

"Can I have Australia too?"

"Sure."

"YEAH!" Australia is my FAVORITE continent/country.

"Okay, so back to business. How bout we just leave Mirkwood be, I mean, none of us want it, and it's just fool of gay elves."

"Okay, fine. I'll take Dol Amroth, and you can have Rivendell!"

"All right. But, Paige, how can we take these countries over?"

"Well, we can use blackmail." I said holding up my cellphone, which is also a picture phone. "Or, we can do it the hard way."

"I like blackmail. Let's see what you got." she reached for my self phone, and I pulled it away.

"Ah, ah, ah. No touchy." I said waving my finger. "Naughty. No, we are going to do this the hard way."

"Why?"

"Because," I said "It's the fun way!"

"Yeah, yeah, fun fun." said Trisher "How?"

"Easy." I said "We undermine authority. Invoke riots. La Revolution!" I said pumping my fist into the air.

Trisher smiled. "I get it." she said "But how?"

"Easy." I said again "We get spies. Spies that will not betray us."

"Like who?" asked Trisher

"Like whom. I have several people in mind."

"Who?" Trisher demanded "Who?"

"You'll see." I said "Don't worry, it's not like he's evil."

"Ah, so it is a he. Who is it Paige?"

"No one!" I said "No one." I repeated "Just wait."

Trisher kicked me. "Tell me."

I stood up, and moved to the middle of the floor, and assumed the lotus position.

"Tonight." I said "8:00. We'll see our informant."

"Oh, so it's not a spy?"

"An informant is a nice way of saying spy. A turn-coat."

"Paige you realize that you could go to prison for this."

I laughed. "Trisher, you don't get it." I said "I do this for fun. I don't expect it to work. I figure it will fall through in a couple days, and I'll be on to something else. Don't worry so much." I said

"I hope you lose intrest." said Trisher "I have no desire to spend my life in a Middle Earth prison."

_8:00_

"Pssssssssssst." a voice came from an alley.

Trisher and I walked toward it.

"No come closer." he said with a heavy accent "No come closer."

"How?" asked Trisher

"What?" I whispered

"How do you find a Spanish speaking informant in Middle Earth!" she whisper-shouted

I smiled "I have talent."

"Hey." he said "You gonna talk to me or what?"

"You talk first." I said "And then we'll decide if it's worth answering."

"Fine." he said "There's going to be a meeting in Rohan, few days from now." he said "You go then, I can almost guarantee another informant to help you incite a revolution, and from there, you take over everypace else."

"I don't like almosts." I said "Though, I do like the guarantee."

We could almost see him smile to himself.

"You know what your doing chicka, I'll give you that."

"Thank you," I said "What about Gondor. It has the highest to fall, and will take longer than Rohan or anyplace else."

"You got me there." he said "We don't have a plan for Gondor yet."

"Then we are not ready." I said "You don't attack the weak first. Once Gondor falls, the others will fall easier. You forget, the King has many friends in those nations."

"True, of course." he said "But what if they were just to...disappear."

I was silent "No one is to get hurt." I said

"People, they get hurt all the time." he said

"I don't like this." said Trisher

I shushed her. "I don't want anything bad to happen." I was getting a bad feeling about this guy, and I felt like I was being watched as well.

He snapped his fingers. Then we were surrouned by armed guards of Gondor.

"Aw, shi-," Trisher swore

"We have 'em boys!" they called "Let's take 'em in."

Once Again, Trisher and I found ourselves in a jail cell.

"Guess your not getting into Harvard now." said Trisher

"Shut up."

Just then, the doors opened.

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GASP!

A cliffie! What will happen to poor Trisher and I?


	48. Our Short, but VERY Grand Adventure Part...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "...It's like a ghost town without you around. Why can't we just forget and ride off into the sunset?"

Wild West Show, Big and Rich (singers of 'Save a Horse Ride a Cowboy')

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Chapter 48

Part 2 of Our Amazingly Short Adventure

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Trisher and I were stuck in jail. Again.

"Why do we do this?" asked Trisher "Why?"

"Cuz it's fun." I answered. I was sitting on a bench opposite of Trisher

"This." said Trisher waving her arm around the grungy jail cell "Is fun?"

"Consider it a free life expieriece." I said smiling. "Courtsey of me."

Trisher muttered something obscene under her breath.

"Hey," I said gently getting up and sitting down next to her. "Do you know what they say about friends and best friends?"

"What?" asked Trisher

"A friend will bail you out of jail." I said

"And I would." said Trisher

"Let me finish." I said "And a _best friend_? They will be the one sitting next to you saying 'Damn, that was fun.'"

Trisher smiled weakly "Damn, that ws fun."

"That's the spirit! Now, we need a resonably lie. I don't think they'll let us plead the 5th Amendent. They may let us plead insanity."

"Or we could tell the truth."

"We could." I said slowly.

"Yeah, Paige, I think we really should tell the truth."

"Really?" I asked

"Really."

"Fine." I said plopping back down on my bench. "Man, this place is a dump." I said

"You said it."

"Hey!" I yelled to a passing guard "Do you know who I am?"

"Annoying." he guessed.

"Oh, ha ha. That's harassment you know? I could sue you for that remark, but I won't."  
"You're crazy too." he said

"Yeah, a bit." I admitted "Can we please get out of here?"

"Not till some one bails you two out. And right now, we don't know who to contact, otherwise we'd kick you out in a minute."

Trisher and I looked at each other.

"Please." I said "Don't make me." I said

"We have too." said Trisher "We have too."

The guard guy was walking away.

"HEY!" I yelled "We know who you can contact." I said miserably.

_An Hour or Two Later_

I tugged at my hair. A nervous habit.

"Quit it." said Trisher

So I began to tap my foot, nervously.

"Quit." said Trisher "Chill out."

"I can't." I retorted. "What are they gonna to think?"

They, of course, were Faramir and Boromir.

"Well, I don't care about Boromir, but you are really killing Faramir."

"Why can't I just be a good person?" I asked dropping to my knees.

"You're incapable." said Trisher, in a comforting tone.

"Thank the Valar."

Faramir and Boromir walked in.

I gulped.

"Why are you here, anyway?" asked Faramir

"Uh," I said, giving Trisher a look.

"We'll tell you later." said Trisher

"Fine." said Boromir "But you aren't going to run off as soon as we get outside, are you?"

Well, I hadn't been thinking about it...but now that he mentions it...

I looked at Trisher, who shook her head. Why does she have to ruin my fun?

I bobbed my head, showing I understood.

Then, when we reached the door...

I made a break for it.

"What the hell?" yelled Trisher as she ran after me. "You weren't suppposed to run!"

"Hey, a good idea is a good idea. THANK YOU BOROMIR!" I called over my shoulder.

And we were off again.

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WHOO-HOO ANOTHER SNOWDAY!


	49. El Crabbo Del Diablo

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Gotta love Professional Development Days! No school...No school...

God Trisha, I'm sorry...

Thanks Reviewers! LoL, I'm glad you think we're funny, you should see us at school!

Gradnma Linda:Maybe she's an angel...

Trisher: Yeah, an angel of the devil!

I'm an angel!

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Chapter 49

El Crabbo Del Diablo

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Trisher and I were, once again, aimlessly wandering.

"Hey!" Trisher said "Sticks!"

That was true. I picked up one, and held it out. "Un garde!" I said

"Touche!" she said

"Ah, you dare challenge the great power of the El Crabbo Del Diablo?" I asked

"Meh." Trisher said

"All right." I said "Ha!"

And so it began, our sword fight.

"Ow!" I said as Trisher hit me over the head.

"Gues Del Rabbo Mel Diabloo isn't working."

"It's El Crabbo Del Diablo, and it's just getting started!" I hit her over the head

"Ow!"

I grinned "Told you so."

I spun around, to do a fancy move type thing, and...

_WHACK_

Something just cut my stick in half.

"Oh god." said Trisher

":Not you guys again." I sighed "What do you want?"

They just grinned.

_Later that Day..._

"Diplomatic Amunity!" I yelled

"They're aren't listening." said Trisher

"DIPLOMATIC AMUNITY!"

"From where?" one asked

"Uhh..."

"Michigan!" said Trisher

"Sorry, not on our diplomatic amunity list."

We sighed. They had a huge long list, mostly of countries we'd never heard of. Then, I spotted one.

"Cuba!" I said

They looked at their list, and then hissed.

"What's the capital of Cuba?" one asked

"Havannah!"

They hissed again. "Major export?"

I gulped, trying to remember "Uh, coffe beans, limes...uh, and their secret export is Cuban cigars."

They hissed. "Fine." the leader said "You get diplomatic amunity."

Oh, did I forget to mention that we had been chained AGAIN!

The chains were let loose.

"Now, what do you want?" I asked "It better not be money, or else our guys will be back to whoop on you again."

"No, no money...this time."

"What, are you going to continue to kidnap us?"

"Paige, this would be a VERY good time to shut up and listen."

"Fine."

"What we want is that."

And they pointed.

"Whoa." I said "Hold up. You want that?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Because. Becuase."

"Because Because why?"

And went on like that for a while.

"WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" yelled Trisher "Just give it to them, Paige."

"Why?" I asked "It's mine."

What we were talking about was my butterfly necklece. It was the only thing I own that is pink. It is on a pink ribbon, and it has a silver butterfly on it.

"We want it."

"Paige, you can but another one."

"But this one is _special_." That's true, it is special. I was wearing it during my piano recital when I played _Malguena _and _Beauty and the Beast. _I didn't mess up either of them. It's good luck.

"I know." said Trisher "Just give it to them, this place gives me the creeps."

"No. Go get your own."

"But that one is special." they said

"I know, it's special cause it's MINE!"

"But it's special to us also." they said

"How?"

"It has a butterfly on it."

"So?"

"Butterflies are special."

I was getting bored.

"I'm leaving." I said, and just simply started to head for the door.

I yanked on it as hard as I could. Then I pushed it. It wouldn't open.

I yanked on it one more time, and it flung open and hit me in the head.

I fell on the ground, shook my head, then stood up again.

"Okay, Trisher, let's go."

So we walked out.

"Do you think we should tell some one?"

I looked at her.

"Nah."

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In case you couldn't tell, they were the Grinners. My favorite new charachters.


	50. Consequences

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: ABOUT YOUR DAD YOU FREAKIN' IDIOT! That was aimed at Trisher, not my loyal reviewers.

"Quit joking Tone, tell me what their like."

Antonia spun on her.

"You want to know what their like? Fine. They're a bunch of rich yuppies that own a huge house, with a four car garage, and an indoor pool. Their only problem is that they have a selfish whiney daughter that doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone."

"I do too." said Jazz.

Antonia stormed out into the hall.

"I give a damn about you!" yelled Jazz to her retreating back.

Define 'Normal', Jazz and Antonia

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Chapter 50

Consequences.

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Finally Trisher and I returned to our Library.

One thing about me. I go and do stuff without thinking, I don't care about consequences until I'm about 5 seconds away from them. That should clear some things up.

"You realize," said Trisher, "That you just promised some of the most important men, and I emphasize men because they they are sexist here, that you wouldn't run away. And you did. And got kidnapped, I might add."

I shrugged. "Ignorance is bliss. What they can't know, can't hurt them."

"Yeah, I think they saw us Paige, not everyone is as blind as you."

"I'm not blind, I'm visually impaired."

"More like mentally impaired."

I sighed, then yawned. Getting kidnapped takes a lot out of you.

"Fine." Trisher said throwing up her hands "I give up. But when they come -,"

Just then some one banged on the door. I smiled "Speak of the Devil."

Trisher groaned. "We are so dead." she said "So completely and utterly dead. My whole life is flashing before my eyes...there I am, such a cute innocent child...there's Jacob, ugly little brat...my four-wheeler...Shelby...Molly...Taking out a tree with my four-wheeler...meeting you...braking my leg...you shoving me down a hill...The Lord of the Rings...my whole life is flashing before my eyes..."

"And it is really boring." I said

I got up and walked toward a window. I opened it up. "See?" I said, swinging my leg through, "Easy as..."

Just then the door started cracking from whoever it was banging on it.

"We're gonna die." I said "Trisher, I am sorry."

"You better be." whispered Trisher.

"Yeah, I am really sorry."

"Uh-huh."

"Oh my god, I'm gonna die." I whispered "Wait, play the sympathy card."

"What?"

"We were just kidnapped, remember?"

"Yeah..."

"So, play it up a little." I ruffled my hair, reached out the window, grabbed some dirt and smudged it on my face and clothes.

"A little?"

"Okay, a lot. But hurry!"

So Trisher and I made ourselves look pathetic, well, in my case, more pathetic than normal.

Just then the door was flung open.

"I knew I'd find yeh here."

"Eep."

It wasn't our husbands, oh no, it was much worse.

It was Gimli.

"Thought you could slip away, eh?"

"Eep."

"Thought you could out wit me, eh? Well, guess what? You can't!"

"Eep."

I looked at Trisher, who looked at me.

"HELP!" we screamed at the top of lungs.

"Shuttup!" roared Gimli, but no can silence me, the Mouth.

"HELP!" I continued yelling "HEL-,"

Just then a painfully cold object was against my throat.

"I'll be shutting up now." I said

"Yeh better." he said

"Somethings wrong." said Faramir.

Faramir and Boromir had been in a bar, drinking.

"What's wrong?"

"No, they're in danger."

"Who's in danger?"

Faramir just rolled his eyes. "Come on!" he yelled, and ran out the door. Boromir reluctanly left his half filled mug and walked out after his brother.

"No, see this is how it's gonna be." said Gimli "Yeh are going to be shutting up, and I will be talking."

We nodded.

"Allrigh', where to begin?"

I couldn't help it. "At the begining would be nice."

Trisher dug her elbow into my rib, and gave me a meaningful look, as if to say 'SHUTTUP!'

"Shutting up now." I said, then I zoned out.

And Gimli began his life's story.

My thoughts were going along these lines: I was watching The Lord of the Rings, or Pirates of the Caribbean, flipping between them. Rewinding parts with hott guys (Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Johnny Depp, Viggo Mortensen, Dominic M. Orlando Bloom, David Wenham, Karl Urban, David Wenham, Orlando Bloom...), and the commercial breaks were for LOST.

Trisher's thoughts were along the same lines as that : 'I bet Paige is watching a movie. Most likely one with Orlando Bloom. Or watching LOST re-runs. What a dork. What a dork. She could at least pay attention!

And Gimli droned on and on and on.

Eventually I broke the silence.

It happened like this: Okay, so I got to the very sad part of LotR, you know, the Pyre of Denethor. So I flipped the channel (in my mind) and there was Charlie (Dom. M.) on LOST, dead, hanging from a tree. So of course, I had started crying at the Pyre of Denethor, total all out screamed at that site.

Gimli spun around from his rant, to see my crying and screaming.

Trisher rolled her eyes. "I knew it." she said

"Dum da da dum da da dum da da da da!" We heard from outside.

"My knight in shining armour!" I said

"How do you know?" asked Trisher.

"I taught Faramir 'Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy'."

Trisher rolled her eyes, and I grinned. "We're in here!" I called

The doors burst open, again, and Faramir and Boromir were there. They were a bit unsteady on their feet, but they were there. That's the princepal of the matter.

I sighed happily, and Trisher once again, rolled her eyes.

"We're here!" said Boromir "Now, why are we here?" he looked around

"Funny." said Faramir "I don't remember either."

"Hello!" yelled Trisher "Over here!"

"Oh," said Boromir "I see."

"Maybe we should, I don't know, rescue them?"

"That could work." Boromir said.

Trisher and I both sighed.

Gimli was sort of shocked that so many people would try to foil his atempt to kidnap us.

"If you want them back." said Gimli "They must be ransomed."

I leaned toward Trisher "Let's hope his conept of ransom isn't the same as Tom Sawyer's."

Trisher and I burst out laughing.

"But," said Faramir "We don't have any money."

"What! You're a freakin' prince, and he's a Steward, and you have no money!"

"They're alchohalics." said Trisher

"Shuttup!" I said

"You're one too."

"Am not."

"Are so."

"Am not!"

"I don't care who's an alchohalic!" said Gimli.

"Then what do you want?" I asked

"I want my wife back!" Gimli began to cry.

Trisher leaned over to me. "Wow, he's pathetic."

I nodded in agreement. "We can't get Arwen and him back together, it will ruin everything!" I said. "Everything!"

Trisher nodded. "Everything." she repeated.

"Isn't there a nice lady you can marry?" I asked

"Ya know, one with a beard." Trisher offered.

Gimli just sobbed louder.

Trisher and I looked at each other. Ever since this little incident, you know, me marrying Faramir, Trisher and Boromir, Gavin and Alyssa, Gavin and Emily, Alyssa and J.D.

Yeah, I don't play match-maker any more.

"Trisher, do you know anyone?"

Trisher shook her head. "You?" she asked.

"No."

"I do!" said Boromir

We all looked at him.

"Well," he said "I do."

"Who?" asked Faramir

We all just figured he was too drunk.

"She is a wonderful Shieldmaiden of Rohan. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, freckles, the works." he said.

I looked at Trisher in horror. He was talking to Eowyn!

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OMG 50 Chapters! I'm like, going to like, omg, freak out! These following quotes are from The Blue Notebook, which started the chain of stories, such as I Married WHO, Trisher Nicole Married WHO? and even You Could Have Caught Me. Of course, this all happened cuz I can't take Trisher seriously.

"_And you could tell she had been dreaming of this day ever since she saw The Two Towers..._" -TrisherNicole

"_What's going on? I was just about to propose to Eowyn, when those gay Hobbits pushed me into a hole!_"- Faramir


	51. I AM NOT A HAPPY CAMPER!

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Okay, due to forces beyond my control (brother and father) I have been grounded. And for stupid reasons I can not list. So my updates will be minor to nill. What I already updated was already written and hadn't a chance to post. GRRRR!

Sorry, but I was so mad! I can't even get on the computer! Except for this 2o minute reprieve.

Sorry! Please continue to watch for updates.

Thank you, loyal reviewers.

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Crunk


	52. Escape

You Could Have Caught Me

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: 'I could have died drinking, but now I'm killing myself…'

– Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinking – Toby Keith

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Chapter 51

Two Dimwits

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The next morning we left for Gondor.

"I'm going to miss Dol Amroth." I said

"You weren't even here a day." Said Eomer

"Yes, but I got a job almost immediately. And the rude people were drunk, no sober rude people, unless I count you."

"Why would you count me?"

"You stared at me the entire time."

"Because I knew you were lying."

I shrugged "Staring still is rude."

Eomer just rolled his eyes.

"Why did you leave anyway, Anna?" he asked later. "I know we said if you weren't happy you could leave."

"It's not that I wasn't happy," I said "I was just bored."

"Bored?" he repeated

"Well, not bored. I don't know how to explain it." I gave an aggravated sigh "I missed traveling with the Fellowship, I guess." I smiled "I used to drive Boromir mad be singing."

Lothiriel laughed "I was Boromir's cousin; he never could stand music lessons. He always tried to get out of them."

"He thought I was crazy."

"Why?"

"Numerous reasons. That I sang a song called 'A Pirates Life for Me', just the fact that I sang, and the fact that I was traveling with an entire group of men. And the time I jumped out of the boat into the river, that didn't help his impression of me either. He was always nice though, he just thought I was bit off."

"Well, you are." Said Eomer

"Eomer!" said Lothiriel

"I heard what you told Beregond after Faramir took you in that one night."

I blushed, "I forgot about that."

"What did she tell him?" asked Lothiriel

"Nothing!" I said "I said nothing."

"I'll tell you later." Murmured Eomer

"Halt!"

Oh great, those two Rangers.

"Where are you from, and where are you going? We cannot let you pass until we know."

"I am the King of Rohan." Said Eomer "Is that enough? I do I have to tell you my Queen, Lothiriel, late of Dol Amroth, or Anna, who was there at many battles, such as the Black Gate," I gave them a Little Rascals wave "is that enough, or do I need to have you get the King of Gondor to ratify that?"

"You can pass, your highnesses." And both of them gave a clumsy bow.

As soon as we were passed, I burst out laughing.

"Nice one Eomer."

"They were dimwitted." Said Eomer

"You shouldn't have been so mean." said Lothiriel

"Believe me," I said "I had gone through those two. They aren't very quick."

Lothiriel just shook her head.

"So, what are we going to tell Aragorn, and Faramir?" asked Eomer

"I don't know." I said "What ever you want."

"Really?"

"With in reason!" I said

"Okay, okay, I have an idea. Nothing bad, we'll just surprise them."

"Sounds good."

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How was that chappie?

Oh yes, a Little Rascal wave is when you put your right hand, like where your hand meets your wrist, under your chin, and then wiggle your fingers like your waving. That's the password to their clubhouse.


	53. The Ponytail Thing

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Jason, we need to talk. Outside."

"If it's about Aubrey's baby, it's mine."

BURN! No, Aubrey isn't pregnant, it's a burn cuz Aubrey is Austin's girlfriend. Kinda. Sorta.

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Chapter 52

The Ponytail Thing

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Trisher and I, since our library was sort of occupied by a sobbing Gimli, were lead back to where Boromir and Faramir's rooms.

"I'm not going in." said Trisher "I'm not."

"I am!" I said, and started walking for door, and I would have gotten there too, if it weren't for Trisher grabbing the back of my hoodie, and yanking me back.

"Oh no you aren't."

"Hallway?" I asked

Trisher nodded.

So we went to sleep.

I woke up a lot earlier thaan Trisher, it was like Fall in Middle Earth, and I love mornings in the Fall, they're so pretty, and they have a smell...I can't describe it, it just is.

So I got up early, didn't wake up Trisher, who is quite a heavy sleeper anyway. I snuck out onto a balcony, where I sat on the wall, and dangled my legs over it, it wasn't that high off the ground.

Anyway, while was up there watching dawn, some one came up behind me and yanked my ponytail.

I closed my eyes.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?" It was Faramir. For moment, I thought it had been my old best friend, Emily. But she's been gone for awhile now, maybe a year, maybe two years? I don't remember, it happened during the summer.

I shook my head. "No, the only other person who used to do that was my friend, Emily. She was short, she only came up to my shoulder, if that. I used to put my elbow on her shoulder, and we'd walk around like that. Sometimes I'd walk to fast for her, so she'd run up and yank my ponytail. That's how we'd say sorry too, both of us were just too stubborn to admit defeat, so Emily'd yank my ponytail, or I'd start leaning on her shoulder, and that was it."

I sighed. I really missed Em sometimes.

"Oh." he said "Where is she."

I shrugged. "She's gone." that was it. End of conversation.

"Oh." said Faramir, he sat down beside me. "Isn't it pretty?"

"I always love sunrise in Fall." I said "I love everything about Fall."

"Me too."

We both sighed and looked into each others eyes, and...

"Ahem."

Trisher and Boromir were standing behind us.

"God, Trisher." I said "Gotta ruin everything, dont you?"

She grinned and nodded.

"Dork."

"You know it." she responded

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The names of the ppl on my team:

Oober, Olive (or Frodo), Chelly, Rip (or Cowgirl),Crunk,Spike, Potthead (Hothead),Forsyth Lova/Stalker, Kenz, Step into It, Chipmunk (Alien), Blondie, and Shelby.

Guess who I am? TRISHER! NO TELLING!

Points if you get who I am right!


	54. INDIAN OUTLAWS

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: I'M AN INDIAN OUTLAW! WHOOP!

"I can kill a deer or a buffalo with just my arrow and my hickory bow, dontcha know? I do it all the time. 'Cause I'm an Indian Outlaw." - Indian Outlaw, Tim McGraw, the adopted theme song of the Chesanging Indians, though not official.

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Chapter 54

Indian Outlaw

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After Trisher and I had on the standerized Ithilien Ranger garb, we got to go to the shooting range.

"Okay," said Faramir, handing me a bow, and Boromir gave one to Trisher.

"These are just practice arrows, so you can't really hurt anything. Now how you shoot an arrow..."

But I already had my bow strung, and I shot an arrow that hit the target dead on.

"Is that good enough?" I asked

"Best I've seen a girl do." said Boromir

"You're turn Trisher."

"How'd you do that?" she asked

"I do archery, okay?"

Trisher sighed, and atempted to shoot an arrow. It more or less fell in front of her.

"Don't worry Trisher," I said, "The first time I did it, I held the bow wrong, and the arrow grazed my arm, I had a huge scratch on my arm."

Trisher kept muttering, as she picked up the arrow and tried again.

"Okay," I said "Just hold the bow with your one hand, K, now balance the arrow on your hand that holding the bow, now, put your pointer finger and middle finger, yeah, hold the arrow, now pull back, aim, and let go."

This time, it went a few feet, then into the ground.

"That was pretty good." I said

"I didn't hit anything." said Trisher

"That's good." I said "You could've hit oh, the garage? Or almost hit a cat, like I've done. Really Trisher, you have to get used to it. It's taken me a while to get that good."

"Yes, how did you get that good?" asked Boromir

I winked. "I'm an Indian Outlaw."

"I knew it." said Faramir "What were you in for?"

"No," I said "It's the name of our football team, we're the Indians, so there's a song called Indian Outlaw, so our theme is Indian Outlaws, we have T-shirts and everything." I said

"Oh."

"See, you jump to conclusions."

"Well, when you say you're an outlaw..."

Trisher, meanwhile, had still been trying to shoot an arrow. Finally, in frustration, threw the bow down, and said:

"Just give me a gun!"

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Has anyone ever heard the song "The Freshman" by Verve Pipe? It's so sad!

"We tried to wash our hands of all of this. We never talk of our lack of relationships. And how we're guilt-stricken, sobbing, with our heads on the floor. We fell through the ice when we tried not to slip. We'd say: Can't be held responsible. She was touching her face. And I won't be held responsible. She fell in love in the first place. For the life of me, I cannot remember what made us think that we were wise and we'd never comprimise. For the life of me, I cannot believe we'd ever die for these things, we were merely Freshmen."


	55. HA HA H OMYGOSH BAD GUYS!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Good Jobish Paige!"

"Jobish Olivia?"

"Yesh! We and Olive are British, so we are the Ish-ers. I made up a word! Crumpetwickets!"

Olivia, Me, and Kali, at V-ball Practice, after I spiked the ball.

P.S. I'm having a ditzy day.

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Chapter 55

HA HA H- OMYGOSH BAD GUYS!

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After I had convinced Trisher that there was no way for her to get a gun.

Then they stuck us on guard duty.

Little did they know, I have intense cases of both DFDD, and WFDD.

So, I got really bored, really fast.

Trisher and I were stationed in the forrest, not like that made it any better. It was boring.

I started to fall asleep.

Falling asleep has never been anything but bad for me. I mean, I fell asleep in Math/Science, and almost slept through a fire drill. I fell asleep in the car once, and missed telling my mom to turn.

So as you see, falling asleep during something has all but disasterous results.

Trisher kicked me, and I woke up.

"Whazza goin on?" I asked

"Nothing." said Trisher

"Why'd you do that then? Stupid." I said, standing up.

"You shouldn't be sitting on the ground." said Trisher

"Why not?"

"Bugs. Snakes."

"Scardey Cat."

"Am not."

I didn't argue the point.

"Hey," I said a few minutes later. "I got a joke."

"What?"

"What do you get when you cross a four-leaf clover and a paint brush?"

"What?"

"A stroke of good luck!"

I started laughing. Trisher just rolled her eyes.

"Fine, what do you call a trunk of a car filled with bison?"

"What?"

"A Buffa-load!"

Trisher still didn't laugh.

"Fine, be that way." I said

Just then we heard the shrill call of what sounded like a sea gull.

"Huh. What's a seagull doing in the forest?" I asked Trisher

"I dunno." said Trisher "What's the answer?"

"No, it's a question, not a joke!"

"Oh. OH!"

"What?"

"Do you pay attention. At all?"

I shook my head.

"Faramir said if you hear a sea gull, that means trouble."

"That's silly, they trained Sea gulls to warn us of danger?"

"No, they're making bird calls."

"That's cool. Wait. Freeze Frame. Shuttup. That means Trouble!"

"Yeah, I just said that, Paige..."

"No! Trouble is coming this way."

"What do we do? What do we do? What do we do?" Trisher started running back and forth

"Duck and cover?" I suggested

"That's incase of a shooting."

"Uhh, Go in a ditch."

"Tornado!"

"Crawl on our knees till we exit the house."

"FIRE!"

"Oh, sorry. At least I remembered them!" I said

"That's true." said Trisher

"Mhm." I said

Then we heard the sea gull call again.

We started to panic.

"Wait, I'll draw my bow, and you distract them."

"What do you want me to do?" asked Trisher "Dance?"

"I don't know, can you dance?"  
"I can do the chicken, the bunny, and that's about it."

"You can't do the Macarana? Or the NSYNC 'Bye Bye Bye' dance?"

"No, I didn't grow up in the nineties like you."

"I forget. You never watched MTV as a child. You poor deprived thing. Never saw Carson Daily at his finest..."

"Bad guys."

"Yes, I know, Trisher, bad guys are coming."

"No. Bad Guys!"

"What?" I looked around my shoulder, and there were bad guys.

They weren't your typical baddies, but you could tell they had been up to activity of questionable leagality.

They were headed straight for us.

Of course, Trisher being well, Trisher, she shoved me, and ran.

I fell down, the baddies tripped and fell, and other Rangers aprhended them.

"Real heroic Trisher." I said, "Real heroic."

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DFDD - Don't Follow Directions Disorder.

WFDD - Won't Follow Directions Disorder

DFDD, that's my word, Anita invented WFDD along with Amanda, so they could explain why I always do things my way.

Another cited thing:

"Let's just say in the past, I have been involved in activity of questionable leagality." - National Treasure, Ian (Sean Bean). Great Movie. Right Trisher, with your boy, Sean Bean.


	56. The Homewrecker

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Now there's two ways that we can do this, I'll let you decide. You can take it some where else, or we can take it outside, you little Homewrecker!" - Homewrecker, Gretchen Wilson

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Chapter 56

The Homewrecker

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As Trisher and I, and all the other Rangers of Ithilien were re-entering the city, proud of our capture of the bad guys.

"Hey, Trisher, look!" I said

There.

Trisher's mouth opened, then she laughed.

"She is so not."

"She so is."

Eowyn was so hitting on Faramir.

"I have to do something." I said "I have to."

"No, you don't." said Trisher

"Why not?"

Trisher sighed "You don't get it, do you? Don't answer that. Paige..."

Trisher trailed off. "You know, we have to leave, right? I mean, we can't live here forever. We're goign to have to grow up someday. And when we do, what will happen?"

I gave Trisher a defiant look.

"Look, Paige, there may very well be a day where you quit believing in Middle Earth. It may not be soon, but it will almost certainly happen. I don't want to be a party killer, but you are going to grow up. Eventually."

I glanced up at Faramir, who was talking happily with Eowyn.

I sighed. 'Trisher's right.' I thought. Then, I had another thought 'Who cares?'

So I went up and punched Eowyn.

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"Now honey, I'm a Christian, but if you keep it up, I'm a gonna go to kicken your pretty little butt! You little Homewrecker!" - Homewrecker, Gretchen Wilson


	57. First, Second, or Third

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Hee-hee. Eowyn SO deserved that.

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Chapter 57

First, Second, or Third

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I, to my disbelief, was once again in jail

I was thinking about maybe carving something in the wall, when a soldier walked up.

"You have a visitor."

"Is it Faramir? or Boromir?" I asked, cringing

"No." He responded "The Stewardess."

"Who now?"

"Me, you idiot." said Trisher as she rounded the corner.

"Oh god."

"Yes, you're in for it." said Trisher "Do you ever listen to any advice?"

"Here we go." I rolled my eyes, and the guard walked away, leaving Trisher to rant to me.

"What do I say?" she asked "Just let it go, Paige. And you say: 'Sure, Trisher' next thing I know, you're punching her. Granted, you beat her by a long shot-,"

"I did?" I said smiling.

"Yes, considering she only got in one or two punches, by the way, you're lip's bleeding, and you have a huge black eye."

"Thank you for telling me. I didn't mean to hurt her, I like Eowyn, I just hate that she feels the need to hit on Faramir."

"Oh, if anyone was hitting anyone, it was you hitting Eowyn. But she's fine, though, she has two black eyes and some bruises."

"So, why am I here?"

"Agrrivated Assault with intent to harm."

"Duh."

"What?"

"Well, it it's an agrivated assult, there obviously was intent to harm."

"I thought you never meant to hurt her?"

Well, that was true.

"All right, I didn't want to punch her." I admitted. "I just meant to sort of push her. But she pushed back, so I punched."

"Paige Marissa, you need to learn not to fight with your fists."

"You sound like my mother."

"Good, maybe I can get some sense into you."

"Even more like my mother."

"Hmph." said Trisher "Fine, I can just...leave."

"No!" I said "I'm sorry. Please, bail me out!"

"Well, that's why I'm here."

"I knew it." I said "Okay, I'll find something to throw, then you unlock the door, and we're out."

Trisher blinked "What?"

"You have a set of keys, right? That's why you're here."

"No...it's more of a...plea bargin."

"What is?" I asked suspiciously.

"They'll only let you out if you agree to it." said Trisher.

"What is it?"

"It was actually Eowyn's idea."

"Does it get any better?"

"Not really."

"Then carry on."

"Okay, well, according to Eowyn the only way she'll let you out, becuase right now, according to Gondorian law, you attacked her-,"

"For good reason."

"-, and she decides your punshiment, which the King agrees or disagrees to, and he agreed, so now you agree, or..."

"Or what? What's my other option."

"Well, there's two."

"Two? Let's here 'em."

"Trust me, Paige, go with the first one."

"Tell me, Trisher Nicole."

"Okay fine, you either rot in here, forever, or you divorce Faramir."

"FIRST CHOICE, FIRST CHOICE!"

"I thought so."

"What is it?"

"Let's wait until you can't re-think it."

_&An Hour Later&_

Trisher Nicole was considerably happier, now that I was free.

I on the other hand, felt as if I were right back in prison.

I'll give one thing to Eowyn, she's smart. Oh yes, evil and coniving smart, but smart nonetheless.

Her punishment?

Princess Lessons.

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	58. A Real Lowdown Drag and I mean it!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Princess Lessons. Gosh, kill me now. Trisher, I bet your highly enjoying this.

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Chapter 58

A Real Low-Down Drag, and I Mean It

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This was a drag. It sucks. It bites. It blows.

I could say something else, but I'd most likely det in trouble, considering, according to my teachers, half of my vocabulary was, and I quote: 'Fit for a common urchin if not worse.'

Of course, when I said that was fine for me, Professer Baran just looked down his huge nose at me, and sniffed.

"A lady talks like flowers."

"Flowers don't talk." I said

"Exactly."

I sighed.

After speach lessons, I had to be taught to walk correctly. I was not happy about that.

"What, are those?" I asked, even though I knew. They were rather like the ones Trisher and I had taught Lego boy to walk in. Except these were hot pink

"I'm not doing it." I told Madame Belthil. "Sorry, you are not getting those things on my feet."

Two minutes later I was stumbling across the room. After falling a good 10 times, Madame Belthil gave up and sent me to the next instructor.

History. If you think my teacher, Mrs. A, was boring. Meet Madame Rochallor.

Aparently in History, I also get insulted for my name.

"What kind of a name is Paige?" she asked me.

I looked at her. "Well, my mom was gonna name me Lucy, but my Dad didn't like it. So I got named Paige."

"I see. Well, that will have to go. You never see any rulers named Paige."

Whoa, was she trying to change my name?

"Uh-uh." I said "I may despise my name, but I am keepin it."

"No, Paige is a very ugly name."

"Yeah, well at least I wasn't named after a horse!"

I was sent from that lesson too, no history taught.

The Next class, I had a real problem with too.

I was once again with Madame Belthil. Or, as I nicknamed her, Miss Barbie.

Why? Well, when you have a body that totally defies gravity, long blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect smile, and guys are practictly stalking your every step. Ta-da! Barbie.

Whatever. Back to the lesson.

"Today's lesson: Dressing Nice."

She sighed as she looked over my rather pitiful attire.

She pointed her perfectly clean and pointed fingernail at a diagram that she had drown with a crude picture of a girl.

"Firstly, hair must be done. And I emphasize must." she looked at my mop of brown hair that hung straight and down, and tapped the top of the girl, where the hair was pulled back with braids. Oh god, not braids.

"Secondly. Ladies do not wear...whatever those things are." She pointed to my 'Goodbye Jeans'. The ones that were signed by all of my CMS friends. She tapped the long dress.

"These are very special to me." I said

"Doesn't matter." she said "Nextly,"

I rolled my eyes.

"Ahem. Nextly, we have shoes." She tapped the bottom of the picture, where I supposed feet might have been, but they were covered by the dress.

"What's wrong with my shoes?"

"If you can call them shoes." she said

Okay, so my shoes are unique. I mean, who else has white and bright green tennies with matching bright green laces?

I sighed.

"And, of course," she said "A lady does not wear a shirt that does not compliment her skin color. Orange is not your color." she said

Now she was insulting my hometown colors, orange and black.

I held back my temper, and tapped my foot.

"A lady doesn't show that she's impatient." she said, with a grin. "And, now we fix everything that's wrong with you."

"Oh no." I said. This was sounding like a...

"Yup!" Barbie clapped her hands "A makeover!"

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Rochallor - Finglefin's first horse.

Baran - Elder son of Beor the Old

Belthil - 'Divine Radiance', some name of some dude somewhere in the Silmarillion

Doesn't Divine Radiance just sum up Barbie?


	59. Barbie, Krystie, and Thersea or somethin...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Full to the brim, with stick-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth-oh-god-it-makes-you-want-a-glass-of-milk,extra smooth... peanut butter." - Charlie (Dominic Monaghan) on Lost talking about the imaginary peanut butter

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Chapter 59

MAKEOVER! AUGH!

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Before I knew it, I was at the mercy of Barbie and her cronies, Thersea and Krystie.

Okay, so those weren't really their names, but hey, what else goes with Barbie?

My hair was pulled and yanked and braided within an inch of it's life.

I didn't put up a fight for that, considering Barbie was doing the work, and Krystie and Thersea were holding me down.

Then, I was handed a dress, which I refused to wear.

"No pink." I said "No pink."

I wasn handed another one.

"No yellow, I'm not going to look like Belle from freakin' _Beauty and the Beast_.

They sighed, and handed me another one.

"Blue, that's more like it."

Then the shoes. That's torture. Imagine a combination of stilletos and wooden sandals.

Ouch.

"What do you think, girls?" asked Barbie

"Ohh, wonderful!" they crooned, but I could see their cheeky smiles.

I raised my fist in a threat, but it was pushed down by Barbie.

"No." said Barbie "Be nice."

I stiffly lowered my fist.

"There we go." she said

I felt like a dog.

"Can I leave now?"

"No." said Barbie "A lady is escorted out of a building, one does not just leave."

"Fine." I said. "Who's 'escorting' me?"

I looked around, expecting it to be Forsyth, or Fish, like some cruel joke.

"You'll see." said Krystie, gigling.

"Shush! You'll tell her!" said Thersea.

I rolled my eyes. These girls seemed somewhat familier to a few Brittanys' and Jennys' I used to know.

"When will this 'escort' be here?" I asked

"I already am."

And I spun around to see...

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CLIFFIE

Kali: "One day, when I grow up and have a kid, I'm going to buy a stroller for two, and run around the mall looking frantic."

Typical Kali. Oober rules!


	60. Very Funny, Now Move Aside

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Okay...And the winner is...LEGOLAS!

**Lindaholand**: AMEN! I babysit these little girls, and have to play Barbies...god...I didn't like them then, and I don't like them now.

**powerof3halliwells**: YES! I love that song! I gotta get a Gretchen Wilson CD.

**TrisherNicole**: NOT EVEN FUNNY! Plus, Andrew already knows, and is taunting me mercilessly. And I WILL make you pay. Oh yes, and Trisher? I'm glad you love corn.

**ALL READERS**: I'm sorry! I just now realized, (after some goading by Trisher) and I did update the wrong chapter for like the chapter 'Escape' I'm sorry. (okay, Trisher, now you've been right, what, 3 times?)

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Chapter 60

Real Funny, Now, Move Aside.

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I turned around, and then laughed.

"Okay, okay, joke's over, Legolas, just move aside."

"No, really," said Legolas "I am your escort."

Barbie and Co. were drooling.

"Fine." I sighed. "Let's get this over with."

As Legolas and I walked out of the building, I began to get confused.

"Are you suicidal?" I asked him. "Really?"

"No. Why?"

"Why are you here?"

"Truthfully?"

"Real Truth, not happy Truth."

"I really want to see everyone's faces when they see you."

"Why?"

"Well..." said Legolas "You look VERY different."

"You insultin' me!" I asked

"What? No. I happened to be in the building," at this he looked down at his manicured nails. "And they were looking for what they called an escort for you, and I wanted to see what was up, and there you were, and here you are."

"Oh." I sighed "And you're not suicidal?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, Faramir still might want to kill you."

"I'll deal with that."

"You touch him, and I will be forced to hurt you." I said

"Fair enough. Hey, you got any of that lipgloss?"

I handed it to him. "I really look different?"

_&MEANWHILE (TRISHER NICOLE AND OUR DARLING HUSBANDS)&_

"What did Eowyn pick for her punishment?" asked Faramir

"Oh, you'll see." said Trisher

"C'mon." said Boromir "Tell."

"No!" said Trisher.

Boromir leaned over to Faramir. "I bet she's ticklish. We'll get her to tell."

"I heard that!" said Trisher "Paige is the ticklish one. I am not."

"Really?" asked Faramir

"Extremely." said Trisher, who knows when to shut up. "Anyway, off that subject. When is she supposed to be here?"

Boromir and Faramir shrugged.

"Are we even in the right place?"

Again they shrugged.

Trisher rolled her eyes.

_&LEGOLAS AND ME&_

We arrived at another building.

"S'goin' on?" I asked "Where's Faramir, Boromir, and Trisher?"

Legolas gave me an odd look. "You're not going to be seeing them for a while yet, you have more lessons."

God, I can NOT escape school, can I?

I sighed, and walked in.

_&DARLING HUSBANDS AND TRISHER&_

Faramir had found a calander.

"Oh, we're early." he said

"How early?" asked Trisher

"By about a week." said Faramir

"What?" asked Trisher

"Apparently this punishment ends on the day of like this giant Ball celebrating Gondorian History." said Faramir

"Oh." said Trisher, then she realized something. "I'm stuck with you two!" she groaned.

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Legolas was in the bank when two men walked in. They walked up to Legolas.

"Um," said the older of the two. "Is this a bank?"

Legolas thought 'Who could be that stupid?' Then the answer came...'Boromir.'

The other rolled his eyes. "No, Brett, it's a grocery store, I thought it'd be funny to let you embarass yourself."

An excerpt from a story I wrote but never posted. Like when the Fellowship is like reincarnated. Yeah, one of those. That's one of my fav exceprts from it.


	61. Miss Priss, I am not

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: How does a little 5 chapter story escalate to 61 chapters!

_"You smile like such a lady, innocent and sweet. You drive the menfolk crazy, yeah, but any girl can see..." - Homewrecker, Gretchen Wilson_

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Chapter 61

Miss Priss, I am Not

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This 'school' was a school for prisses.

I walked in, Legolas had left, saying something about not wanting to go to a girl's school. I thought he was crazy. When I walked in, I was met face to face with a room full of girls.

Barbie was there.

"Girls, I would like you to meet your project. Paige here, is a Princess, but doesn't look nor act like one. Let's see what we can do."

I turned to walk out, but I was met by Eowyn.

"Ah, ah, ah." she said. "Wouldn't want you to throw your marriage out the window, do we? If so, I have the papers."

She held out a few papers and a quill.

"Never." I said. "Faramir's mine, deal with it. Biotch." I said

She sniffed and went to walk out, but she stopped and turned. "I'll be waiting, Biotch."

"Bring it on!" I said "Gimme your best shot."

Eowyn walked out.

The girls were giving me looks of pure terror and horrification. I felt I had done something wrong. Then, I figured it out. It was like a social ladder. These girls ( and Aragorn, Arwen, and Boromir) were at the top. The jocks and the cheerleaders. The people that did all their shopping at places like Abercrombie&Fitch. While, Faramir and I tended to be on the lower end of the Middle, the outcast drama clubers and the people that had garage bands likely to never make it out of the garage, and tend to shop at Hot Topic and Goodwill. Trisher may have been further down, along with the smart people, who didn't have the cool factor to be with the drama club and band people, most likely shop at wannabe cool places, like Aeropostle.

"She started it." I said

Barbie sighed. "You must not let your temper get the best of you."

"My temper is controlled. Most of the time."

"Well, let's get it to all the time. Now, your first task is to have a civilized conversation."

I nodded, and sat down amongst the other girls, who were staring at me.

"Um, so, did anyone happen to get the new Avril CD?" That was suitable conversation, unless I was around MeLisa. Then I remembered they don't have CD's, I'd have to revise my tatics. "Um, how about Faramir, oh yeah, he's a hottie." That was another thing all of my old friends could agree on. David Wenham, oh yeah.

"Hottie?" repeated one girl "What kind of strange language you speak."

"It's called Chesabonics." I said, in mock seriousness, any of my friends would have laughed at it. "A mixture of redneck/gansta/ and proper English."

She rolled her eyes. "We do not speak this 'Chesabonics' so you must conform, speak like we do."

I bit my lip. Faramir. Do this. Faramir. Trisher. Faramir. Must not kill. Faramir

I bit my lip, and nodded.

Barbie smiled, and walked out.

The girl that had told me to conform, apparently was the next Barbie.

"Ladies, have you seen the new dresses?"

They started to talk, not interupting each other of course, about the new dresses. I felt my eyes glaze over.

"What do you think?"

I very inteligently said "Huh?"

"You're shoes, they are the newest fashion, how are they?"

"They suck." I said

"Could you elaborate?" she asked

"They really suck." I tried, adding in an adverb.

She gave me a half smile, that was somewhere between pity and amusement.

"We do not speak like that. We say they are dreadful, or horrorific. Why don't you try to use those words in a sentance?"

I grinned. "This is horrorfic. You girls are dreadfully boring, and I am afraid that I will soon become overcome with weariness from this talk of fashion, and will collapse in a most unladylike way on the floor."

Her smile twisted, and became a forced smile. "Very nice." she said. "It's tea-time girls!" she said.

They all stood up to leave, and I made to follow.

"Wait a moment, will you, Paige?"

I stopped, and she got in my face. "I will make sure you become a princess if it kills me." she said "I will get you to be a lady."

I didn't say anything, but resisted the urge to punch her.

I decided that Barbie Jr. could be Skipper. I could call her something worse, but I won't. I followed the rest of the girls.

Oh joy, tea time.

_&&On the Other Side&&_

Trisher didn't have much expierence being stuck with the guys, likewise, Boromir and Faramir had never been stuck with a girl before. It was rather awkward to say the least.

"So..." said Faramir. "Having fun?"

Trisher looked at him. "I'd have more fun if I was dead."

_&&Tea Time, And I HATE Tea&_

"Tea?" Skipper offered me a cup.

"No thank you." I said, proud of myself for adding 'Thank you'.

"Let's try this again." said Skipper. "By trial and error we learn. Would you like tea?"

"Sure. Thank you." I said.

She smiled sweetly, and handed me some tea. The talk was so boring.

Skipper sat there at the head of the table. "Shall we endulge in a little gossip?" she asked

I set my cup down. I had been staring into space, (very ladylike, I know), and had lost track of the conversation.

"Did you hear about the Steward's wife?"

My ears pricked at this. They were so not going to talk about Trisher. They would be goners. I didn't protest, but listened, wanting to know her thoughts on Trisher.

"I hear that she is rather on the crazy side."

Well, that wasn't so bad, to Trisher, that's stating facts. Now, if they said she was crazier than me, that was an insult.

"She is a good person," said another. "She isn't like the Prince's wife."

That girl was shushed by Skipper, as I stood up.

"If you have an insult," I said, "I will be happy to take it. Then, I will be forced to hurt you."

Skipper stood up. "Come with me." she said sharply.

I followed her. "I didn't want to do this," she said "I hoped that the other girls' influence would help, apparently not."

I was following her deep inside the school. "I didn't want to resort to this. But I shall have to."

She opened a door, and motioned for me to follow her inside.

That was last anyone saw of me for a week.

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That's allright, That's okay, you're gonna pump my gas someday!

If Abercrombie & Fitch decided that breathing wasn't cool; half of my class would be dead.

P.S. Trisher, no offense to your Aeropostle sweatshirts. They are cool...but are no match for my Goodwill hoodie.


	62. So Lonely

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: _"...so happy, but now so lonely!" _- Lonely, by Akon and of course, the talented Alvin from the Chipmunks! I LOVE that song, that is so great, Alvin is like his back up singer! Speaking of that, has anyone else heard Backstreet Boys are back? I was listening to WIOG, and they were all like "And here's the new Backstreet Boys song..." and I was like "What the hell?" Wow, that's scary.

Since I have gone AWOL, This story will now be taking place in third person, or like, not from Trisher's POV, and not mine, the third person. I think that's what it's called. I'm not going to be here for a while, well, I will, but it won't be _me, _I'll shut up, or I'll give it all away! _Can't be doing that, oh no, precious, musn't be telling._

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Chapter 62

So Lonely

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Trisher never realized what a fixture Paige was in her life until she was gone. Trisher found she was bored out of her skull without Paige here to cause some sort of trouble. Because, as we all know, Paige is trouble.

Like Trisher told Faramir, she would be having more fun if she was dead. That was an understatement.

Trisher was bored out of her skull.

Faramir and Boromir felt no better. They had no clue what to do with Trisher, considering most of the time Paige had been there. They had been attempting polite conversation, but in the subjects, either Trisher, or Faramir and Boromir didn't have anything to say about it. And when you've already discussed the weather ten times, well, what else is there to speak of?

Eventually, night time came, and Trisher would head off to the library to sleep. And Faramir and Boromir would leave.

Trisher toyed with the idea of just leaving and looking for Paige (she was startingto get worried), but she decided it wasn't worth the effort. Paige could fend for herself. She'd been through Hartley Survival, and was one of the only ones in her group that wasn't stupid enough to walk over thin ice and fall through.

After a week of this, Trisher found that was excited to see Paige, even though she wouldn't show it. Faramir of course couldn't stop talking about it.

It was only one day away. The Great Gondorian Ball. The day that they would, "Get her back", Aragorn's words, not theirs. That sort of made Paige sound like some dog, or animal. Or hostage.

The morning of the Ball, Trisher was excited. It was 7:00 when she got up, according to her watch, and the ball started at 7:00 p.m. Only 12 hours till.

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I love Anna, she complined about me not sending pizza, when she was eating Doritios! (I know, healthy dinners, eh?)

eekerrs: all gone, sorry, Anna!

annabee: paige ate it all and didn't share!

eekers: want me to fed-ex you a piece?

annabee: YES!

10 min. later...

annabee: still not here paige.

eekers : darn fed-ex guys, they are so slow!


	63. The Great Gondorian Ball

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "And he had...a bunch of flowers. Dyed pink carnations, fairly hideous You know, like flowers only a boy would buy, but totaly perfect." - Tibby, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Third Summer.

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Chapter 63

The Great Gondorian Ball

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As soon as it was 7:00, Trisher and Faramir were fairly dragging Boromir along.

Trisher ran into the hall, expecting to see Paige standing there, jeans and t-shirt, hair in a ponytail. But she didn't. She did spot Eowyn though.

"Eowyn," said Trisher "Where is she?"

Eowyn smiled serenly. "I think you'll find she's a bit different. But why ruin the surprise? I'll let you find her."

Trisher was upset. Normally, Paige stood out in a crowd. She was taller than most people, and she had that tell-tale swinging ponytail. As she looked around, Trisher began to wish that Paige's hair dye had not washed out. It had formerly been red (if you watch Desperate Housewives, think sort of dark Bree VandeCamp). that would have made her hair stand out from the dull browns and blacks of the Gondorian people. Paige was also the only one in Gondor to have a splash of freckles across her face. And of course, no one else in Gondor had green/blue eyes.

But Trisher didn't want to walk around checking people for blue/green eyes and freckles. She'd have to rely on her instincts to pounce on the right person.

Faramir was looking for Paige too. He actually had flowers. But after awhile they were a bit wilted, so he threw them away. Trisher comforted him, saying Paige didn't really like flowers anyway.

There. Trisher was sure she had just seen a mop of brown hair. Not just any brown hair, brown hair with blondish tips, from three summers ago when Paige had highlights that hadn't washed out.

Trisher slowly walked over. Yes, that was definetly Paige. She may be wearing a dress, and her hair may be done, but she was good ol' Crunk.

"Hey!" said Trisher, right next to Paige's ear.

Paige jumped, then turned around.

"Hello." she said politely. "Would you kindly not shout in my ear?"

Trisher blinked. She wasn't expecting this. Paige must be just fooling around. Paige shouted

"Oh c'mon." said Trisher. "Give up the act. I know you just want to hit me for yelling in your ear."

"I don't believe in violence."

Trisher then had the feeling this was not Paige, only a clone. Paige was a revenge person. She didn't just get hit and not hit back. Something was wrong.

"You- yes you do." said Trisher "Watch." and with that, Trisher punched Paige's arm.

"That hurt. Will you please not do that?" she repeated.

Trisher was at a loss for words.

"Wait here." she said to Paige. "I-I-, I have to, I'll be right back."

Trisher ran into Faramir, who was looking for Paige.  
"I found her." Trisher told him.

"Where is she?" he asked.

"She's gone, she's been replaced with a clone."

Faramir shook his head. "Where is she?"

"C'mon." said Trisher, thinking maybe Faramir would make the real Paige come out.

"Hi!" said Faramir walking up to Paige. "You won't believe how boring it's been with out you."

But try as he may, Faramir could not coax out the real Paige. Faramir got sick of her pretty little answers to all his questions, and gave up and walked away.

"What is wrong with you?" asked Trisher "A week ago you would have fairly jumped into Faramir's arms if given half a chance, and now you won't even talk to him!"

"Lady's do not jump."

Princess Lessons. Paige had been to princess lessons. And they'd worked. All too well.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I love Dave and Kurt. They are the best coached ever. I'm going to miss them.

But, as we do every year (they've been our coaches for 4 years), we gave them both a six pack of beer, lottery tickets, and aspirin.


	64. The New Who

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer:

"Now why would you want to marry me, Jake?"

"So I can kiss you anytime I want." - Melanie and Jake. Sweet Home Alabama. I love that movie!

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Chapter 64

The New Who

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Trisher decided Paige had been brainwashed, she had to be the responsible one. She had to kidnap Paige, and some how de-clone her. Un-brainwash her. Whatever.

She grabbed Paige's arm.

"Excuse me," Paige said "But whatever are you doing?"

"Saving you." replied Trisher

"If I need 'saving', which I don't, I will get my husband."

Trisher rolled her eyes. "Yeah, like last time, your knight-in-shining-armour was no where in sight ."

"I'm sure he was off doing something heroic." Paige replied.

'Well,' thought Trisher, 'At least her loyalty to Faramir hasn't changed.'

On the war to the door, they ran into Boromir. Not literally this time. But that was okay, since they were no longer running from a rabid dwarf.

"Hello Trisher. Paige."

"Steward Boromir." And Paige bowed.

Trisher almost had a heart attack. This was one of Paige's least favorite people. Paige bows to no one. She is her own person. Trisher was in total shock. So, apparently, was Boromir.

"Did she just-?"

"Yes. She's sick. Seriously sick." said Trisher

"I am not."

"Don't argue."

Paige shut her mouth. Trisher also noticed this Paige seemed to take orders, instead of blatenly ignoring them, as per usual. Trisher started off again, Paige in tow.

"Do you know what the word 'crunk' means?" Trisher asked Paige.

"No."

Trisher knew she did. This Paige was a liar. And a good one to boot. The old Paige did not have such a stoic demeanor, was more open. And couldn't lie. I believe she said she couldn't play poker with a Scream mask on. That was the truth. She always lost at B.S.

Trisher looked to see if Paige was avoiding her eyes, if she was, she was lying. Paige looked her straight on.

Trisher noticed something. Paige had hazel eyes. Most of the time they were green-looking, but now, they were gray. No life behind them. Just gray. A cold, hard gray, not unlike what the walls of Minas Tirith were like.

Trisher pretended not to notice.

"You know what it means." said Trisher. "It was your nickname. Your volley-ball nickname. Crunk. It was off a cartoon show remember? You had such a hard serve it would hit the ceiling, and then you'd swear. And in the cartoon show, there was a guy that did that, and he said "Crunk swear now. Butt!", and ever since you guys saw that, your nickname was Crunk, remember? And Chelsea, she was Chelly. And Megan was Rip, after Richard Hamilton. Dave had it put on her trophey."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know a Chelly, or a Rip."

"Yes you do!" said Trisher, who was getting frustrated, and was ready to smack Paige upside the head. "It's on a song too. Remember, Big and Rich? In their song "Rollin'", Cowboy Troy has a rap, and you used to sing it."

"What is rap?"

Trisher took a deep breath. "Rap. You used to talk extremely fast, and you were a great rapper."

Trisher noticed a spark of recognition in Paige, then it faded. "I conformed, Trisha."she said.

Trisher was in shock that Paige had called her 'Trisha', but got over it. "Paige," Trisher had to smile at this. "You're not a poser. You couldn't conform if you tried."

"I can and did."

Trisher shook her head. "No, the real you will come out eventually. If I have to drag it out kicking and screaming I will. But one day, you're evil side will flare up, and I won't stop you."

Paige flicked her head at Trisher, not unlike what she used to do with her ponytail, but that had always been a gesture of friendship, just saying 'yeah, right'. But this time it was the real flick, the you're-an-idiot-and-that's-it-I'm-leaving flick.

And Paige turned around and walked away.

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"Cuz back home, we love to dance, we can be two-steppin' or wavin' the trance, cuz when the party is CRUNK the girls back it up, we got the systems on the cars, and the 2o's on the trucks! 6'4 with the cowboy hat, I don't mess around, Yo, what's up with that? I'm Cowboy Troy, a Texas hick, and I'm rollin' with the brothers, Big and  
Rich!" - A small part of Cowboy Troy's vocal in "Rollin' The Balad of Big and Rich"


	65. Toe Rings and Curls

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Few times I've been round that track, and it's not just going to happen like that, cuz I ain't no holla back girl, no I ain't holla back girl." - Gwen Steffani, Holla Back Girl. I LOVE that song! I love No Doubt and Gwen Steffani.

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Chapter 65

Welcome Back

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A few days had gone by, and Paige seemed to be holding her position as an actual member of society, and a respected one at that. Trisher knew that Paige had a breaking point, and it was coming up quick. Why?

Well, since Paige became a goodie-two-shoes, she now went to all charity events, seeing as she was a princess. Trisher also attended them, but only to keep an eye on Paige.

At the last one Trisher saw something that sealed the fact Paige was going to break. At the last ball/charity thingy ma bobber, Paige had been wearing a toe ring.

And Not just any toe ring, oh no, her hippie ring. Sterling silver, with a ying-yang in the middle of it. Hippie? Oh, yeah. Totally Paige? Most definetly. But then again, there are other smaller things, that make Trisher doubt that Paige will ever return.

For instance: the last time Trisher had seen Paige, her hair had been curled. Paige's hair DOES NOT curl. Sure, you can attack with a curling iron and hair spray, but even after five bottles of hair spray and numerous bottles of mousse and hair gel, the curls will last on average around ten minutes before her long brown hair falls back into it's path of straightness. Not that Paige even cared that her hair was curled. She didn't bother to take the effort with it. That's why she had three hairstyles, down, ponytail, half ponytail. And she was content with that.

And also, Paige hadn't so much as talked to Trisher.

She'd returned to the library every night, but totally ignored Trisher. Which suited Trisher just fine, considering if she did talk to her, she assumed that Paige would act like some stuck up prep.

But, back to the current time. It was another one of those charity, well, whatever it was, Trisher was going to just to see if Paige had broke yet.

Nope. Paige entered, life of the party, but yet graceful and lady-like. To Trisher, this was sickening.

Trisher felt the need to do something. She walked up to Paige.

"Hey." she said

"Hello." she responded.

"Do you even know who I am?" asked Trisher.

"Yes." she said simply, and walked away.

"Oh, you ain't getting away that fast." said Trisher under breath.

This Paige was easier to walk next to. The old, the normal, Paige took long legged strides, and sometimes Trisher would have to jog to keep up with her. This Paige took small steps. So it was easy for Trisher to catch up.

"You know," said Trisher, just thinking of something. "I don't think it's lady-like to avoid people. And ignore them."

Paige sighed and stopped abruptly. "I suppose you are right. Now, what do you want?"

"For you to be normal." said Trisher.

"What is normal?" asked Paige. "In our world? Or here? Because they are two very different normals."

"But," Trisher protested. "You're not normal."

"Here I am."

"Now that you've changed."

"Yes, I changed."

Trisher shook her head. "I know you. This didn't happen willingly"

Paige faltered. "No, it didn't. I was blackmailed."

"By who?" asked Trisher, but her question went unanswered, because Paige was looking past her, into the party.

"The same person who's flirting with Faramir." Paige said. "That's it." Paige turned to Trisher. "You wanted me back, you got me. Let's go to the library, I have some business to attend to, and it can't be done in a dress."

"Paige," said Trisher, thinking about when Paige said that to her a long time ago.

"Yes?" Paige stopped and turned around.

"Welcome to the Dark Side."

Paige just grinned.

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"That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust. Few times I've been round that track, and it's not just going to happen like that, cuz I ain't no holla back girl, no I ain't holla back girl. Let me hear you say this sh is Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S. This sh is Bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" - Gwen Steffani, Holla Back Girl

**Trisher, I know! Susan and Mike are back together! I'M SO HAPPY!**


	66. Another One Bites the Dust

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: God, I was trying to listen to my Gwen Steffani CD today, I had to go drop off a relish tray at a funeral, and some girls, most likely like 11 or 12 were skateboarding in the parking lot. And I had all the windows down, and the radio was just blaring. They pointed and laughed at me. Let me tell you, I was about to give them the bird. I would have talked to them, but they were staring, and I didn't know who the hell they were.

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Chapter 66

Another One Bites the Dust

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Trisher and I raced back to the library. I noticed it was clean. Trisher must have had a cleaning impulse are something, because it looked like I hadn't been in the library for days.

I ran over to my bag, which I hadn't been in several days. I started digging through it, looking for somthing totally sweet. Like, knock-your-socks-off sweet. In my mission, I of course sent the library back into it's normal state of messiness.

I finally settled on my white tank top and army green cargos. In my ears I had my silver studs.

"Which ones?" asked Trisher, holding up my white flip-flops, or my combat boots.

"Which ones are easier to run in?" she asked "I have a feeling your going to need to run."

I chose my flip-flops anyway. I rifled through more of my things until I came upon my favorite toe ring. The plain silver one with the little (fake) opal that's set in a square.

"If I could wear it with this outfit, I would so wear my cowboy hat." I told Trisher.

Trisher shrugged. She didn't really care.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail, and applied lipgloss. "I'm ready." I said

Trisher looked at her watch. "9:30." she said. "We only have a half an hour left, before that stupid thing ends."

"This sucks! In Chesaning, our blasts are much longer."

"Your what?"

"You know, our blasts, our parties. Especially if you have them in the fall, and ya'll go out into the cornfield, and try to play tag. Now that's fun. So'long as no one gets lost."

"Have you ever had cops show?"

"The Fuzz? Yeah, but only at ones they were supposed to show at."

"Like when?"

"At two weddings, the cops showed, but they have to show if you have the reception at the K of C hall, or the Lion's Club, or VFW Hall. They have to check and make sure no one is like getting hurt because everyone else is shnockered. But I've only had one family freak out because cops showed.It was great, they were like 'The Po-Po are here!' And they all ran into a field."

"Oh." said Trisher. "What are you going to do to Eowyn?"

Paige shrugged. "Dunno yet, but it's going to be good."

Then Trisher realized something. This wasn't Paige either. This was Crunk. The aggressive control freak. The Crunk that screamed and swore, and tore her hair out when she lost. This was Paige's Evil twin, her Hyde, as opposed to her Dr. Jeykle. Trisher didn't feel pity that often, but she'd played v-ball and b-ball with Crunk. Crunk was not a nice person, and Trisher felt a stirring of pity for Eowyn. No one should have to face Crunk alone.

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?  
I always kinda wondered why Boromir was forty and didn't even have a girlfriend. That's odd. You'd think he'd want to get married and have a kid so he would have an heir.  
Oh well.  
His fault.

**- A Review from TrisherNicole from one of my other stories.**

Should I do something about that Trisher? XD


	67. The Dare

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "I heard that you were talking shtt and you didn't think that I would hear it. People hear you talkin' like that getting everybody fired up. So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the band, gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out. That's right, put your pom-poms down gettin' everybody fired up!" - Ain't No Holla Back Girl!

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Chapter 66

The Dare

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Paige was back to her long legged strides, and Trisher was once more jogging to keep up. Paige ran up the steps to the ballroom, taking them three at a time, then waited for a few minutes at the top for Trisher struggling along, taking the steps one by one.

She caused an uproar the moment she walked in. It could have been the flapping of her flip-flops, the swing of her ponytail, the color of her pants. But Trisher was fairly sure it was the fact that Paige walked up to Eowyn, and was looking at her square in the eye, not saying a word. Which, even for the old Prissy Paige, was very unusual.

"What do I have to do?" she asked Eowyn. "What do I have to do to get you to quit it?"

Eowyn gave her a wicked smile, and Trisher saw the gears winding behind her eyes. She was searching, searching for something that she was better at than Paige.

Actually, if there was one thing she had that Paige didnt and would never have, was patience.

"Well?" asked Paige.

"Racing." said Eowyn. "A Horse race. Winner gets Faramir."

Paige spat into the palm of her hand and extended it to Eowyn who did the same.

"Deal."

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"Why is this Lemonade Stand closed?"

"Because I tried to buy Parmesan cheese." - Me and Chelsea


	68. Impossible!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Wouldn't dream of it Trisher...;)...LoL, I AM evil. I AM the ultimitest evilly person ever! I don't know, I have been thinking of that...would you honestly be that mad if I did?

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Chapter 68

Impossible

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Trisher was following me out, as usualy ranting about my craziness.

"Are you crazy? Don't answer that, it's rhetorical. I mean, really,-,"

I quit listening at some point.

"-And, you are crazy, I mean, she's grown up on the back of a horse, of course she going to win."

I heard that, and cleared my throat.

"Ahem." I said "Hate to interupt you bashing me, but I am a wonderful barrel racer."

Trisher had forgotten that.

"What?"

I sighed. I used to ride two horses. A huge muscular Arabian named Ghost, and a beautiful, yet stubborn chesnut named Kenny. "Look," I said "I know how to race, I'm just as good as she is, if not better, and I am going to whoop her good."

"Yeah, right." said Trisher, who was like a total doubter. "It's not that I doubt your talent, just I doubt your talent."

I snorted. "You always doubt me!" I wailed.

We went back to the library, I figured that the maids just gave up, because it was still messy from my ransack of my duffel.

"I give up on you." said Trisher, throwing clothes and shoes at me, which I caught and threw back into my duffel. "You say that everyday." I replied. "You are the stubborness giver-upper ever."

"Huh?"

"Do you know how many people have given up on me? And meant it. Miss Conley, she labeled me an incompetent trouble maker, and Mr. Wally-world took away my books, telling me I couldn't read, and then he gave them back, because he gave up trying to find all of them."

Trisher thought about that for a movement. She didn't have anything to say.

"Well," Trisher said. "It is impossible to teach you Math."I mean, you can't even spell 'calculater'" I laughed, so true.

I once again began rummaging through my duffel, taking out everything that I had just put in.

"Ai!" Trisher yelled, and flopped on a couch. "You **are** impossible."

"Nooooo..." I said, with a grin. "I'm just hard to deal with."

I dug out a pair of jeans and my combats, the closest thing I had to boots.

I disapeared for a minute, then re-apeared, clad in my jeans and boots, and T-shirt.

"Let's go." I said, walking away.

Trisher's head popped up. "Where?"

"Like I'm telling you."

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Trisher yelled at the back of my head, but she did get up and follow me.

She followed me to the stables, where I found two horses that I wanted. One was Aracaran, and the other was an old short, stubby, pony. Perfect for Trisher.

I sadled them both.

"What are you doing with two horses?" asked Trisher.

"I only have one, the other's for you."

"No."

"C'mon..."

"Of all your hair-brained ideas, I am not getting on a horse Paige Marissa."

"Fine." I said, and I unsaddle the old pony, and led both Aracaran and Trisher out into a huge field. "You might want to go to the sidelines." I told Trisher. Trisher went and sat on the fence.

I ran back into the barn, and set up the barrels, like you would in a Barrel Race.

I got on Aracaran, and trotted him around for awhile, then began to race.

I saw Trisher's jaw drop, I rode up next to the fence.

"Whatcha think?"

"I think you have good a chance of winning!"

By then it was dark, so I took Aracaran back to the stable, untacked him, wiped him down, fed and watered him, then we went back to the library, to sleep in for tomorrow's race.

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"I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm." -Eomer, RotK


	69. The Race

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Now see, isn't it better to swear when you're dying, rather than just you don't have anything better to say?" (Everyone stares at me) - During a discussion of our Lit. Book, Rifles for Watie.

As a response to one reviewer, Faramir doesn't even realize it...just read and you'll find out.

ah, but he is one...chunk of beef? Naw, he's a piece of cutie pie.

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Chapter 69

The Race

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Trisher awoke to find me sitting on the couch, newspaper in hand, reading with one leg bent beneath me.

"Goodmorning!" I said.

"Whatchyousohappybout?"

"Propaganda is so working for me."

"Where'd you get that newspaper?"

"Door."

"Huh?"

"Door. It was outside the door."

"Oh."

I continued to read, my faced completely concealed by the newspaper.

"What are you reading?"

"Mph. Pwhch. Shut up." I said.

Trisher got up from the floor, to read over my shoulder.

"Do you mind?" I asked

"No." said Trisher, but she quit reading, and sat back down.

A few minutes later I set down the paper.

"Well." I said "Well, well, well."

"What does that mean?" asked Trisher

I tossed the paper to Trisher, who tossed it back. "Don't feel like reading, summerize."  
"Fine," I said. "Once this totally dude had a ring, and this dude wasn't any other dude, he was a super bad dude..."

Trisher threw a pillow at me.

"Okay, what it says is that the odds are against me, but, but, but...I am more popular."

"Who in their right mind thinks your popular?" asked Trisher.

"Apparently almost all of Gondor. But that's not the point. What time is it?"

Trisher glanced down at her watch. "Uhhh, almost noon."

"Holy Shat!" I said jumping up, glad for being dressed. I ran out the door, leaving Trisher dummbfounded.

A second later a ran back in, scooped up my Cowboy hat, and ran back out. This time, still in her pajamas, Trisher followed.

I got to the stables, where Eowyn was waiting for me. She had a horse saddled and bridled, but it wasn't Windfola, her horse.

"Something wrong with Windfola?" I asked, out of genuine concern.

"No." said Eowyn. "In a race, you do not use your own horse."

"What horse am I to use then?" I asked

"That one." Eowyn nodded her head to a huge black.

"His name is Nightshade." she said. "I hear he is rather wild." And with a laugh, she walked out.

"Uh-oh." said Trisher.

"Just...go." I said. I was mad. Why couldn't I ride my own freakin' horse? Oh well, I would not let her win.

"Fine. Where?" asked Trisher.

"Faramir and Boromir are out there." I said.

So Trisher left me alone and went to see where Faramir and Boromir where.

She found them sitting on what I guess you could call bleachers, or grandstands.

"Hey." said Trisher

"Why is there a race anyway?" asked Faramir

Trisher and Boromir blinked at him.

"And you are supposed to be the smart one." said Boromir

"Yeah, really." said Trisher. "Eowyn and Paige are racing to see who gets you!"

"Oh." said Farmir. "Cool."

Trisher and Boromir just rolled their eyes.

Then a dude came out from the barn.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the race will begin!"

I rode out into an arena of sorts. This black stallion, Nightshade, was no worse than Scooter, they were both lovable sweethearts, but because they were male stallions, they were control freaks. So I let Nightshade think that he is making decisions, when really I'm the one in control.

The racing strip was really just a dirt path, with a start and an end, it went in a circle.  
It had been explained that it was one lap around, who ever was first, got Faramir, and last got nothing.

Eowyn was riding a rather spirited dun, who kept rolling his eyes. I swear it was foaming at the mouth. Figures that Eowyn would have a demonic horse.

The race would begin when we heard the whistle.

I held the reins loosely, but firmly, and leaned forward in anticipation. I could feel that Nightshade was excited, I could feel it, just in the way I could feel it's muscles twitching beneath the saddle, waiting to leap forward at the whistle.

The whistle sounded. I barley had to touch Nightshade's side, and he was off like a bullet

We took off. I didn't look around to where Eowyn was. I just focused my mind on what Nightshade was thinking. I know it's corny, the whole, the horse and I became one, but it's true. When you race, you almost feel like you are a part of the horse.

I could hear the clattering of Nightshade's and the dun's hooves. I could faintly hear the crowd shouting.

We were going around a bend in the track. I saw the dun's head pull up next to Nighshade, out of the corner of my eye. I thought silently, hoping that Nightshade could read my thoughts, or feelings.

I guess he could, because a new burst of energy seemed to erupt from within, and he leapt into the air, as if jumping over something, then kept going, faster than ever.

There.

The finish line.

I saw Nightshade barrel through the strip of cloth that had been hanging there.

We won.

Nightshade slowed his gallop into a trot, then into a walk.

I could hear the cheers of the crowd. Trisher, Faramir, and Boromir were the loudest.

I had won.

Eowyn rode up next to me. "Good job." she said. "But you won't win without a price."

And with that, she reared the dun up, which startled Nightshade, who reared in return. I wasn't read for that.I held on as tightly as I could, and Nightshade took off again in gallop, jumping and galloping, ignoring me pulling on the reins.

We were going around the track again. I leaned to the one side, thinking that he was going around the bend again, and instead, he went the other, rearing up, as my weight was shifted to the opposite side. I wasn't read y for this rear either, and I was thrown from Nightshade's back.

With a _thud _I met the ground, and I could feel the beat of Nightshade's hooves as he ran away.

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CLIFFIE


	70. A Collective Gasp

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "One day, your prince will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. (sigh)" - My Away Message...one of many.

BTW, if you think I died...pffft... I am INVINCABLE!

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Chapter 70

Collective Gasp

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As soon as Trisher saw Eowyn ride up next to me, she knew that trouble was brewing.

When I fell off the horse, Trisher expected me to do as I always did. That is, start laughing insanely and stay on the ground for a few minutes, then stand up, and yell "I'm okay!"

Well...I didn't.

The entire crowd booed at Eowyn's bad sportsmanship.

Trisher stood up. Why wasn't I moving?

Oh no.

Trisher ran over to where I was, Faramir and Boromir trailing after her.

"Paige?" Trisher was next to me. "Paige!"

"What? I'm sleeping."

"No," said Trisher, thankful that I was at least talking to her. "You just got done with a race."

"I did?" I slowly sat up. "Hey, I did." I said looking around me. Then I fell back on the ground.

"Paige? Are you okay?" Trisher asked.

"Yeah, but the ground is kinda comfortable."

Trisher kicked me. "Get up." she said.

"Why?" I asked

"Because..." Trisher looked around. "...Faramir's here."

"He is?' I jumped up. Trisher rolled her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Faramir asked me.

"Yeah, my head hurts though."

"Oh." said Faramir, who gave me a hug.

Trust me, that made me feel MUCH better.

I grunned at Trisher, who rolled her eyes.

"Nice acting." she muttered to me as we were walking to someplace to go celebrate.

"I know." I said. "So, I really did race huh? And win?"

"What, you can't remember it?"

"Vaugely."

"You know, this could be one of those things you go see a doctor for."

"What?" Faramir turned around.

"Nothing." I said. "Trisher, I'm fine."

"I didn't even think about that..." said Faramir. "That's it, we're going to the Houses of Healing."

I groaned. "Thank you Trisher. Thanks a lot."

Trisher just smiled. "Well, I can't be having you die on me."

"Yeah, yeah." I said. "We'll see if one of us doesn't kill each other first."

"I'll make sure you do the killing." said Trisher.

So, Trisher and I found ourselves at the Houses of Healing.

"Now say 'Ah'."

"What the hell does that got to do with anything?" I asked.

"Just do it." said a bored Trisher, who had been listening to me argue with the Healer on everything he was attempting to do.

"Ahhhh" I said

"All right." the Healer dude said. "Have you ever been knocked unconcious before?"

"Yeah." I said. "So?"

"Was it serious?"

I shrugged. "Dunno."

"What do you mean, 'dunno'?"

"I mean, the doctor said it was nothing serious, so no, it was nothing serious."

"What do you mean you've been knocked unconcious?" Trisher asked.

"You don't remember?" I asked

"No." said Trisher

"Good." I said

I'd been knocked unconcious at the CMS pool, during swimming class (it's a required class, alls they do is let you play in the pool for like an hour, or swim laps, or play pool beach ball, or pool baseball.) Well, anyway, I was walking along, and I just slipped on a puddle of water, fell, and my head hit a drain pipe. I was knocked unconcious for about a minute. I didn't even like realize where I was when I came back. I was like 'Whoa, I'm at the pool', but a few minutes later I remembered going to CMS and everything. It was really boring, they took me to the doctors where they asked stupid questions like 'What's your name?' 'How old are you?' 'Where do you live?' I guess I passed, because they made me go back to school. I ended up walking around with a baggie of ice around my head for the large bump that resided there from my run-in with the pipe.

"Why won't you tell me?" asked Trisher, as we walked away from the Houses of Healing, after I had been declared fine.

"Because it's stupid." I said. "I slipped, I fell, I bonked my head, didn't wake up, end of story."

"You didn't wake up? No wonder you couldn't find you're pulse."

"There's an epilouge. I wake up. End of story."

"That makes more sense."

"Thank you." I said.

Trisher and I kept walking. "Where'd Faramir go?" I asked. "And Boromir, they were like right behind us!"

"Do we care?" asked Trisher

"Good point."

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Just out of curiosity, has any of my viewers been knocked unconcious?

Megan and I feel your pain. Chelsea too. But not Katie. Or Aubrey.


	71. No Place to Go, Nothing to Do

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Git-R-Done. ;) sorry, we rented Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Carry the Lable Guy!

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Chapter 72

Gondor has a National Guard? Who'd A Thought?

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Who knew that Gondor had a National Guard? I mean, granted, yes, they had soldiers. But, I mean, Trisher should've a known! I mean, dude, the Steward is like the dude that would know that! But, like, whatever.

So, we're woke up in the early hours of the morning (say, 10:00) by a pounding at the door. You know, I was starting to wonder if this poor family had a sign that said "Knock on Door at all Odd Hours When We Should be Sleeping" But, whatever.

"Open up!"

Dairuin opened th door, and some soldier dudes walked in.

At the sight of us they bowed. "Howdy." I said.

"You are under arrest for the kidnap of the Stewardess and Princess."

"Whoa!" I said.

The look on their faces was horrible. I felt horrible. One of the soldiers grabbed Dairuin's arm.

"Not cool, soldier guys." I said. "We weren't kidnapped. You see, we got lost."

Trisher elbowed me. "I got lost." I said. "So, I knocked on there door, very late at night, mind you, and they let us crash here. So, don't arrest them."

"As you wish, Princess." said one, releasing Dariuin.

"Yeah," I said."You better listen to me."

"Yeah." said Trisher.

"But we were supposed to arrest who we found with them!" protested one soldier.

"What? By who?" I asked.

"By order of Prince Faramir and the Steward Boromir. And we are under their strict command. We were instructed to-,"

"By order of me, shut up." I said. "I get it."

"Just take us back," said Trisher. "And I'll let Paige deal with them."

"What?" I asked

"You're a better talker."

"Oh."

"Fine." said one of the soldiers. "You deal with them."

"I will." I said. "Goodbye Family that let me stay here!"

They all waved goodbye to me and Trisher.

"So," I said. "Where we going?"

"We are not going anywhere." said the soldiers. "We are just escorting you two back to the Steward and Prince."

"Ah." I said. "So, how'd you get to that house? Do we have tracking devices on?" I asked

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	72. Gondor Has a National Guard? Who'da Thou...

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Git-R-Done. ;) sorry, we rented Blue Collar Comedy Tour. Carry the Lable Guy!

BTW: I got a flame for this story...here it is:

&&&&&&

**" This is so stupid and cheesey. What kind of a name is Trisher? "**

&&&&&&

They didn't even sign in! What a coward. But, to that answer, Trisher is derived from the name "Trisha" which of course, is her real name.

LoL, what a dork. Didn't even leave their name. What a (bleepin') coward. LoL.

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Chapter 72

Gondor has a National Guard? Who'd A Thought?

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Who knew that Gondor had a National Guard? I mean, granted, yes, they had soldiers. But, I mean, Trisher should've a known! I mean, dude, the Steward is like the dude that would know that! But, like, whatever.

So, we're woke up in the early hours of the morning (say, 10:00) by a pounding at the door. You know, I was starting to wonder if this poor family had a sign that said "Knock on Door at all Odd Hours When We Should be Sleeping" But, whatever.

"Open up!"

Dairuin opened the door, and some soldier dudes walked in.

At the sight of us they bowed. "Howdy." I said, rather surprised.

"You are under arrest for the kidnap of the Stewardess and Princess."

"Whoa!" I said.

The look on their faces was horrible. I felt horrible. One of the soldiers grabbed Dairuin's arm.

"Not cool, soldier guys." I said, shaking my finger at them.. "We weren't kidnapped. You see, we got lost."

Trisher elbowed me. " Okay, I got lost." I said. "So, I knocked on there door, very late at night, mind you, and they let us crash here. So, don't arrest them."

"As you wish, Princess." said one, releasing Dariuin.

"Yeah," I said."You better listen to me."

"Yeah." said Trisher.

"But we were supposed to arrest who we found with them!" protested one soldier.

"What? By who?" I asked.

"By order of Prince Faramir and the Steward Boromir. And we are under their strict command. We were instructed to arrest whom we found in possession of the Princess Paige and Stewardess Trisher Nicole -,"

"By order of me, shut up." I said. "I get it."

"Just take us back," said Trisher. "And I'll let Paige deal with them."

"What?" I asked

"You're a better talker."

"Oh. Okay then." I said

"Fine." said one of the soldiers. "You deal with them."

"I will." I said. "Goodbye Family that let me stay here!"

They all waved goodbye to me and Trisher.

"So," I said. "Where we going?"

"We are not going anywhere." said the soldiers. "We are just escorting you two back to the Steward and Prince."

"Ah." I said. "So, how'd you get to that house? Do we have tracking devices on?" I asked

"No," said one. "First we were to check the rooms of Legolas Greenleaf, King Eomer, and then make sure that Lady Eowyn was not hurt..."

"Notice where they went first." said Trisher.

"Shut up." I said. "How is it my problem if I tend to hang out with hott guys?"

Trisher rolled her eyes.

"And then," continued the soldier. "We were to go randomly to doors and see if you were there.."

"That makes perfect sense." I said sarcasticly.

"I know, I thought it all up by myself." said one of the soldiers.

Trisher and I looked at each other and rolled our eyes. What an idiot.

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LoL.

**coolrunnerboy**: Don't just say hi and bye and sign off. Talk to me dammit!

**MiNtYgUrL1232**: All right. Hi!

**coolrunnerboy**: that's better

**MiNtYgUrL1232**: Buh-bye Austin:")

**coolrunnerboy**: You suck

**MiNtYgUrL1232 has signed off at 3:20 **


	73. Why Trisher's Pissed, and I'm Not

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: This one's for Austin. "You know you're a redneck when you're at a party, and some one yells 'Hoedown!' and you throw your girlfriend on the floor." - Jeff Foxworthy, as told by Austin. A perfect example of what happened on the b-ball court...poor Megan, she never saw that comin. Trisher knows what I'm talking about. Ha ha, That was great Chels. Real nice.

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Chapter 73

Why Trisher's Pissed, and I'm Not

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Okay, so I was pissed. Okay, I wasn't pissed. Trisher was.

Here's why:

We get to where Faramir and Boromir were supposedly supposed to see us, okay, so we get there. The guard dudes go in, come back out. Okay, so Faramir and Boromir weren't ready to see us.

Which leads to why Trisher was so pissed and I wasn't.

So I wasn't mad, I was like, cool. It was a sunny day, and I was fine with staying outside, so the guard dudes left.

I yawned and looked at the sun.

"Looking at the sun's bad for your eyes." said Trisher.

"Since when are you my mother?" I asked

Trisher sighed. We were sitting on a stone bench waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

Eventually, I got bored. I rolled up my shirt sleeves, and got off the bench and laid down on the cobblestone road.

"Oh lord." said Trisher. "Must you do that now?"

"Mhm." I said closing my eyes against the bright sunlight. "Ain't nothin better to do." I said.

In case you can't tell, I was sunbathing. Sun tanning. Killing myself and slowly getting cancer. Whatever way you want to say it.

I highly enjoy sun tanning? Why? I always fall asleep. Sadly, not with Trisher around.

"Why?" asked Trisher "Why? Why must you embarass me?

"I'm not." I said. "If Megan and Chelsea were here they'd be right out here with me."

"Yeah? Well, I prefer to be pasty."

"Fine, Boo."

"Don't call me that!"

"Why, Boo?"

"Quit!" and Trisher kicked me.

This went on for about an hour, my calling Trisher 'Boo' and her yelling at me.

Then I fell asleep.

"Nice nap?" asked Trisher

"Yes, thank you." I said, stretching. "Ow." I winced.

Trisher grinned. "You are soooooo burned."

"Shuttup." I said. "Why didn't you wake me up?"

"God, I didn't think you'd burn that much!"

"Shuttup. How long have I been sleeping?"

"We have been waiting for about two hours."

"Two hours?"

"Yes. And I'm pissed. Aren't you?"

I sighed. "Well, after my sunburn goes away, I'll be tan, so no, not really."

Trisher rolled her eyes. "I say we just bang down the door."

"You do that." I said. "I think I'll go back to sleep."

"No!" said Trisher. "Get up."

I pulled myself off the ground and onto the bench. Trisher looked depressed, so I decided to sing her a song.

"Home! Home on the Range! Where the deer and the cantalope roam! Where seldom is heard, a discouraging word, and the skies are cloudy all day!"

"What are you doing?" asked Trisher.

"I'm cheering you up." I said. "Home on the Range!"

"Please don't." said Trisher.

"Hey," I said. "I wonder if we should, I don't know, knock on the door?"

"It could work." said Trisher.

So, I got up and knocked on the door.

"Come in!" yelled some one.

I waited for Trisher to get up off the bench, and then we, well, I did, opened the door.

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In the great words of Kali:

"Allie didn't eat tha cute little bunny! She ate that fat, juicy, tasty rabbit! ... Uh-oh. Allie!"


	74. Finally!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Trisher, she (Kali) said it on AOL. In the Our Lady Rulez Chatroom.

Why I was not picked to fill up water balloons.

"I need some one responsible..."

"OH! Mrs. A! Pick me! I'm responsible, kind of, most of the time, if you need me to be, I can, really, I can! I think."

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Chapter 74

Finally

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"You're late." commented Boromir as Trisher and I walked in.

"We're late?" I asked. "Hello, your little guardmen told us you weren't ready for us, so we hung around outside. You gotta tell us, we can't read your minds."

"Yeah, Paige only does that for money." said Trisher.

"Shut up." I said.

"Why are you so red?" asked Faramir.

"Tanning gone wrong. So, what do you need us for?"

"She's killing herself." said Trisher.

"What?" asked Faramir.

"I am not."

"Are too." said Trisher, who turned to Faramir. "She tans."

Faramir had no clue what tanning meant.

"It means," supplied Trisher. "That she is killing her skin cells, and eventually she'll get cancer."

"Will not." I said. "I'll be careful."

"There is no such thing as a healthy tan." said Trisher

"But," I said. "I soak up a lot of Vitamin E."

"It's Vitamin D, stupid." said Trisher. "And you are killing yourself. KILLING YOURSELF!"

Right when I was about to argue with her, and believe me, I was going to argue.

"We have to talk to you." interupted Boromir.

"Allrighty." I said, taking a seat, then I spun around, so I was sitting upside down.

"We've decided," said Faramir. "That you two need something to do, so you should take on your responsibilities."

I looked at Trisher, and shrugged. "I'll do it, I'm bored anyway, so'long I don't have to go through Princess Lessons again."

"I assure you, you don't." said Faramir.

"Sweet." I said. "Trisher?"

Trisher looked at me, and sighed. "If you're doing it, I might as well make sure you don't hurt yourself.

And so Trisher and I were signed into our royal duties.

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In the 'Our Lady Rulez' Chatroom...

**mintygurl1232**: So, Forsyth, how was your day?

**dmxboy**: why do I suddenly feel like we're married?

**coolrunnerboy**: dont worry josh chelly is the same way

**ChellyMarie**: I am insulted. (smacks Austin's head)

**Oobr88**: you go Chelly

**dmxboy**: we're screwed, Austin

**coolrunnerboy**: i know i know

**Shelb4evr88**: Haha, boyz goin down!

**KillerBeez88**: LMAO

Notice how I'm the only one that uses proper grammer? Huh?

What is it with sevies and the number '88'?


	75. Duties And Evil Plans Mwa HA!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: I love Austin dearly, but he is not the brightest bulb in the shed.

**MiNtYgUrL1232**: I mean, how would you feel if we put all of your stuff in a freezer?

**coolrunnerboy**: i dont know

**coolrunnerboy**: cold I guess

Which goes to show: Boys are like lava lamps. Hott, but not too bright. XD

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Chapter 75

Duties

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It was the morning that we started our 'duties'. And I guess we were supposed to be up early or somethin, but I didn't wake up. Trisher got the pleasure of waking me up. Generally, that is not a coveted task. I am more likely to hit you rather than wish you 'Good Morning!'. If you can't tell, I am NOT a morning person. Nor do I want to. Trisher, on the other hand...

"Goodmorning sleepyhead!" and she jerked my blankets off. Now, it wasn't really fair of her to do that. Why? Well, Trisher had claimed the long couch, so I was stuck on the short two-person couch, which meant that my feet were always dangling off the edge, and the blanket didn't cover them, and I can't sleep with socks on, so my feet are always cold. She should have the short couch. She is the short one.

"Not cool." I muttered along with a few unprintable obsenities.

"Wake up!" said Trisher cheerfully. "Wake up, wake up! Yup, yup, wake up!"

"I'm up, I'm up." I said sitting up, and as soon as Trisher turned around, I snatched my blankets back and curled back up.

"That's it." Trisher disappeared for a moment, then returned. "Paige," she said. "If you don't get up right now, I will be forced to dump this water over your head."

"Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." as you can tell, I did not like the idea of having water dumped on my head, so I sat up.

"Get dressed." Trisher orded.

"Why?"

"Paige, this isn't Michigan, you can't go wandering around in your pajama bottoms and a tank top."

"Why not?" I asked irritably. Lucky for Trisher, she knew it was rhetorical, and didn't answer. But, nonetheless, I got dressed. Just an everyday pair of jeans and a blue Bunny T-Shirt that said 'I don't need your attitude, I have my own!', or something like that, I was still asleep. And as a special touch, I wore my black and blue tennies, they were brand new.

"Gawd." Trisher said. "Put in some effort. Go put earrings in. You have pierced ears. And do your hair." I groaned, and went back to bag where I pulled out my saphire earings, most likely the only good present I had ever recieved from Travis, and pulled my hair into a half ponytail. I was half tempted to embarass Trisher and do a side ponytail, but decided not to.

"Happy?" I asked

"Better." Trisher said. "Put some lip gloss on." I threw a pillow at her.

"Fine." she said, tossing the pillow away. "Don't make an effort, look like you just woke up."

"I did just wake up!" I said. "No, I was dragged out of bed against my will. I want you beheaded."

"Yeah, yeah." said Trisher. "Off with my head. C'mon, we're gonna be late."

I dragged my feet along to follow Trisher.

I wasn't quite sure were Trisher took me to, but Faramir and Boromir were there too. By this time, I was semi-concious, so I was sorta paying attention, but only about a quarter of how much I normally pay attention, which isn't a lot to begin with, so really, I wasn't paying any attention at all. But that's not the point. I guess, from what little I was listening, I gathered that Trisher and Boromir were gonna do somethin, and Faramir and I were gonna do somethin else. Cool. That works.

Trisher waved goodbye, and I stuck my tongue out at her, which she happily returned. I shoulda given her the birdie, but decided not to.

"So," said Faramir. "Let's start."

"Uh, sorry." I said. "Start what?"

"Oh, that's right." said Faramir. "You don't know my secret plan!"

"Secret Plan?" I repeated.

"Secret Plan."

I rubbed my hands together, I love secret plans. Especially if they are evil.

"Are they evil?" I asked.

Faramir took a moment to answer. "Do you want it to be an evil plan?"

"Yeah, I work really well with them."

"Evil plan it is then." said Faramir.

"Yea!" I said.

"Okay," Faramir said. "The plan is, to make Trisher and Boromir fall in love."

I'm sure my jaw hit the floor. This _was_ an evil plan. And Faramir thought it up. And he was supposed to be the good one.

"I like it." I said. "How are we gonna do it?"

"Well," said Faramir. "That's about as far as I got in the plan, but I figure we can think of something."

"I'm sure we can." I said

_Trisher and Boromir!_

Trisher was having, mmm, let's call it a less than funner time.

Trisher's duties were less funner than mine. She got the job of having to read over law proposals for errors.

That, if you've ever had to peer grade, or anything like that, think like that, except worse. And boring, don't forget it's boring. Really boring. And Boromir was doing paperwork or something of equally boring value.

_Faramir and Me!_

"Okay," I said. "So, when you guys go to the library tonight, I'll have the flower guy deliver flowers to Trisher."

"Yup." said Faramir. "And then, I 'll have the flower guy give flowers to Boromir."

"Fabuloso." I said.

And thus our Evil Plan began.

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**Wassuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup Chat Room (started by Austin, of course. Hence the title)**

**bmxboy**: whats everyone listenin to? Jessica Simpson, btw

**KenZieRoO**: Slipknot

**coolrunnerboy**: Beach Boys

**BigFish**: kid rock, the detroit rocka

**MiNtYgUrl1232**: a delightful song called 'May It Be'composed by Howard Shore, and sang by Enya. Singin Now that I'm with you, Forsyth?

**bmxboy**: Of course, Paige has to upstage us all. I hate you. And no, I'm not.

**ChellyMarie**: no one is allowed to hate Paige! listenin to chariot


	76. Wonder Who That Could Be?

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Gotta love Aubs, she's the best. Her and Chelly and Katie. Yup.

I swear, I must be a slut. Trisher thinks I like Forsyth, Chelly is convinced it's J-Bob, Aubs thinks it's Austin, and Katie thinks it's Fish!

HEY EVERYONE! I FIXED THAT DOUBLE CHAPTER! SO GO VISIT CHAPTER 63 IT'LL HELP YOU CATCH UP IF YOUR CONFUSED!

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Chapter 76

Wonder Who That Could Be?

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That night, when Trisher returned to the library, she found me sprawled on the short couch, with my CD player, that I had found in one of the obscure pockets in my duffel.

"Hi." Trisher said. "How was your day? Mine was completely boring...Are you even listening?" Trisher leaned over and hit the 'Pause' button on my CD player. I looked up confused.

"Hey Trisher!" I said. "When'd you get here?"

Trisher rolled her eyes.

"And what were you listening to that was so enthralling?"

"Uh, Forsyth's Favorite song."

"I see." said Trisher. "You miss him?"

"Now why would I miss Forsyth?" I asked.

"'Cuz you have a crush on him."

"I so do not! I do NOT know where you guys get this crap."

Just then, there was a knock on the door.

"Wonder who that could be?" I asked "Why don't you get it?"

"Why should I get it?"

"Because I'm lazy." I said.

"Yeah, you are." said Trisher, walking toward the door. When she opened it, there was a candystriper, which I found highly amusing, considering it's like, Gondor, not like New York or something. He had a bunch of red roses. Red roses. Oooh, Faramir was good. What a romantic. And he was all mine. That thought made me happy.

"Paige!" said Trisher. "Flowers for you."

"Huh?" I asked

"Huh?" said the candystriper. "Um, actually, it's for Trisher, from your loving husband Boromir."

I had to cough to stop my laughter. Then I decided, I should just laugh, otherwise Trisher would suspect me. So I laughed, because, it was funny. I was laughing so hard I even rolled off the couch. Okay, so it was that funny, but the look on Trisher's face was priceless. Priceless.

The candystriper left, leaving a rather flustered Trisher and a hysterical me.

"I-I-I-I-I-I" Trisher was stuttering.

"You don't know?" I asked.

"Yeah." she said. "I totally don't know."

Me, being totally prepared had hidden a vase with water nearby, took the flowers from a stunned Trisher, and put them in the vase.

Trisher kept the card and continued to stare at it, and I turned my CD player back on, and this time I picked Tim McGraw's Country Boys and Girls Gettin' Down on the Farm.

All of a sudden Trisher was talking. And I wasn't paying attention. She once again interupted my song by hitting the pause button, and then she yanked the cord, ripping the earphones out of my ears.

"What this time?" I asked.

"The handwriting." Trisher said, shoving the card under my nose.

Okay, so I could tell what was wrong. Faramir's handwriting is much like mine, large sweeping letters, and very fine, almost elvish, with the exceptions of my 'S''s, it's all pretty elvish looking. And the note was written in bery elvish looking handwriting, except messier. See, what Faramir and I did was this, I wrote the note for Trisher, making it look like a girl's handwriting, because, obviously, Boromir would recognize Faramir's handwriting, and obviously, Trisher would recognize mine. So I wrote a note to Boromir. (To my wonderful guy, Trisher), and Faramir wrote Trisher's. What we didn't think about was that Trisher and Boromir wrote alike. They both wrote with small blocky letters. And we had over looked the fact that both Boromir and Trisher had seen each other's handwriting (when Trisher and I saw the copies of the Blue Notebook, and Boromir read the Blue Notebook).

Trisher was standing there tapping her foot.

"Yeah?" I said. "What's wrong with the handwriting?" I was calm and collected.

"What's wrong with it?" Trisher asked. "Boromir writes like me, and this doesn't look like my handwriting!"

"Well," I said. "Perhaps Boromir decided to learn to write better?"

Trisher snorted. "Yeah, right. And decided to take up ballet."

"That's wonderful." I said. "I've always wanted to do ballet."

Trisher hit me.

"Fine," I said. "Can't you just except that maybe Boromir really is a nice guy!"

Trisher gave me a murderus look. "Sorrrrrrrrrrrrry." I said. And that was the end of that.

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**AList09**: But on the other hand...

**MiNtYgUrL1232**: You have five fingers.

**AList09**: LMFAO. Damn straight.


	77. Short People

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer:

**kenzieroo**: I don't get it. It's funny, but I don't get it

(I explain it through a long tedious explanation)

**kenzieroo**: LMAO! I get it! Now it's even funnier cuz I get it.!

I think that says that all.

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Chapter 76

Dream On

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I woke up the next morning, happy because it was Saturday, well, whatever the equivelent of a Saturday in Middle Earth is, so I, and Trisher, didn't have to do anything.

"Wakie, wakie, eggs and bacie!" I said, taking Trisher's blankets off her.

"Wazzagoinon?" Trisher sat up.

"We have the day off!" I said cheerfully.

"And you woke me up?" asked Trisher groggily.

"I have a good reason." I said.

"You better."

"You have to get up." I said.

Trisher got up. "You can leave your PJ's on." I said, and I walked out of the room, Trisher in tow.

"We're here!" I said.

"Oh, wow." Trisher said, most unenthusiastcly. "Boromir and Faramir's rooms. Like I haven't seen these before."

"Noooo." I said, "That's not the point. The point is that they have beds. And they are gone."

"Where are they?"

"They are at work, and given we are considered ladies, we don't have to work weekends, which means we get beds every Saturday and Sunday morning!"

"You woke me up to go to sleep?" Trisher asked in disbelief.

"Well, when you put it that way." I said, feeling insulted. "Fine, you rather sleep on a couch? Go back to the library."

I walked in and jumped on the wonderfully comfortable bed.

About two hours later, I woke up, and ambled into the library.

"Hey Trisher!" she just scowled at me. "Excuse me for being alive!" I said. Trisher continued to scowl. I don't know why she's so upset, I mean, I told her she could so have Boromir's bed, and plus, even though she was sleeping on a couch, she at least got a couch long enough to get her feet on. I mean, really, I could wake up very grumpy every day, considering my knees don't even fit on the couch I'm on, but I don't. That's Trisher for you.

"Really making an effort, huh?" Trisher asked.

"Hey!" I said, rummaging around for a brush in my duffel, upon finding it, after hitting Trisher with it, I began to brush my hair. I pulled my hair care kit our ot my duffel. I rarely use it, but today, I decided to make an effort. Trisher watched in fasination as I did my hair Chelly style. Which, for those who don't know Chelly or how she looks, well, lemme put it this way, it's fancy.

"Okay," I said, adding the finishing touched to my hair. "We have to get out of here."

"What?" Trisher asked.

"Well," I said. "As much as I love Faramir, and believe me, I do, its just not worth missing Homecoming, and watching all those hot football players. And then, of course, all the hot basketball players, and the soccer guys, and then the golf team..." I trailed off. "Plus, I'm too young to be tied down."

"So..." said Trisher. "You're going to divorce Faramir?"

"What!" I asked. "No dear, I'm Catholic, and we don't believe in divorce. I think I'll just...leave him."

"What!" Trisher stared at me. "You'll break his heart"!

"No." I said. "I've decided I'll just let Eowyn have him, though she'll have to work hard, I'll let her. Then, I can accuse Faramir of cheating, which in the Catholic Chruch is grounds for divorce. Nifty plan, huh?"  
"AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS IN THE BEGINING AND GOTTEN US HOME SOONER?"

"No, I wanted some time with Fari first."  
"You are SO conceited." said Trisher, rolling her eyes.

"I know." I said happily. "So, shall we go?"

"I don't get it." said Trisher. "Where are we going?"

"Well, I'm not quite ready to get rid of Faramir yet, so we'll work on Boromir."

Trisher froze. "What are you going to do to him?" Trisher thought for a moment. "Not, kill him?" she added in a whisper.

I shook my head. "Look," I said. "I may be a bad person, but really, you know me better,Trisher. Really now. I have a better plan than killing him. Though it would be easier to kill him."

"Don't you even think of it. So what are we going to do?"

"It involves short people, and a whole lot of looking."

"Oh Lord." said Trisher. "Not short people."

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**coolrunnerboy**: you probyl have fish stuff all over your room

**A List 011**: Yeha i do

**A List 011**: theyre jsut all over my room just all over

LMAO just all over, huh Aubs?


	78. I remember!

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

* * *

Disclaimer: Sorry, the updates are slow. I'm back to school, and I won't have much time until Homecoming is over, and even then…Student Council is always busy on something. But I'll try really hard. Okay?

* * *

Chapter 77

Short Furry People

* * *

I had explained to Trisher who we were going to see. She didn't quite understand at first.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, those little furry men with the drums."

Trisher was thoroughly confused. "Who ARE you talking about?"

I sighed. "You know! Those little short guys? They talked to Théoden and Eomer? And then they like disappeared into the forest?"

"OHHH! Those short people." said Trisher. "You could've been more specific. And how do you expect us to get to Rohan?"

"Well, I managed to get to Gondor from Ithilien ok, so I'm sure we can make Rohan."

"And this is coming from the person who would always get us lost on Cross Country USA?"

I shrugged. "You shouldn't tell me where to go. I have trouble following directions."

"Another question." said Trisher, as we were walking along. "How do plan on explaining this to poor, pathetic, pitiful Faramir?"

"Quit calling him that! At least he's better than all brawn but no brains Boromir!"

"Ha Ha. Good one." Trisher said in a sarcastic voice.

"I really thought so. All brawn but no brains Boromir. Ya gotta admit, I'm funny."

"A complete laughing stock." said Trisher. "But really, what are you planning to tell them?"

I stopped in the middle of the street where we were walking. "Haven't quite got that far." I said, contemplating what I could do.

"Watch it!" A soldier dude yelled as Trisher pulled me out of the middle of the street.

"Watch it yourself!" I yelled back. "I'm walking here!" He stopped his horse and got off.

"Uh-oh." said Trisher. Generally that word comes before another word. Arrested.

That's right, once again, Trisher and I were locked up, and no one believed who we were. In fact, they thought we were nut-jobs.

"Hey, who are you?" one of the guard's jeered.

I hopped off the bench. "I'm Princess of Ithilien, go ask Faramir! And she's Trisher; her husband is all brawn but no brains Boromir!"

The soldiers roared. "That describes him all right!" they laughed.

"Hmph." I said, plopping back down on the bench.

"Let's see." said Trisher. "That's the 17th time you've told them, yet they still find that joke funny." I snorted. "It's because they have the mentality of Fish. We-I, have been in here so many times, I practically am a regular!" Trisher nodded. "I know, it's amazing! You think by now, they'd just call Faramir and Boromir."

"Like I said, they have the mentality of Fish."

"Hey!" I said, a suddenly awesome idea hit me.

"What?" asked Trisher.

"Obviously, Faramir and Boromir are loaded, so…I'm thinking bail, maybe?"

Trisher nodded approvingly.

Another problem: if they don't believe that you are married to Boromir and Faramir, they are definitely not going to let you take their money and use it to get out of jail.

I was thinking of a way out when it hit me.

"Woses!" I yelled. Trisher gave me another look.

"What?"

"The furry short people, they're called Woses. And that one guy I wanna talk to is

Ghân-buri-Ghân."

"Oh." Said Trisher. "I remember those guys! Didn't they like live in Drudan Forest or something?"

"Or something." I replied with a smile.

"Hey, how do you know about them?" asked one of the soldier dudes.

"Well, duh." I said. "I was kinda there!" Technically I was. Well, technically, technically, my character 'Anna' was. But really, I wrote the story.

"And I was sorta to." Said Trisher. She was not there. Liar.

I shot her a look. "Sorta." She repeated.

"Well…" said the guard. "I guess you really didn't do anything wrong. Just, watch who you're talking to nest time, ok?" He unlocked and opened the door

I didn't have a chance to respond, I was already gone.

* * *

"I mean, these graphs scream so loud even deaf people can see them!" 

"Kovach...are you high?"

Gotta love Animal Science


	79. Problematic People aka: Faramir

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "Scare the ninny out of me!" - Jessie

* * *

Chapter 78

Problematic People

(aka Faramir and Boromir)

* * *

Somehow (coughTRISHERcough) poor, pitiful, pathetic Faramir, and all brawn but no brains Boromir found out about what we were going to do. I told Trisher we weren't gonna leave till night, cuz, lord knows, we never show up at night anyway, so we could leave without a big deal.

So, that evening I'm painting my toenails, and all of a sudden, there's a boot interrupting my light.

"Make a better door than a window." I commented, not looking up. "Hey! Move the boot!" I looked up. Uh-oh.

"Hi, Faramir!" I said as cheerfully as I could. "Would you please move your boot?"

He didn't.

"Please?" When he still didn't move, I rolled my eye, and screwed the cap on my blue nail polish. I was obviously not going to get this done tonight. And I only had 4 out of 10 toes done. I was not going to be able to wear sandals till my nails were done.

"What did I do?" I asked.

"It's not what you did." He said.

"Oh, gee, that's a relief." Where in the HECK is Trisher? I looked around; she seemed to have vacated the building. Real great friend

"Where you planning to go to Rohan?" he asked

"Mwa?" I asked. "No." Technically, I wasn't. I was going to a forest. Ha

"Well," he said. "In any case, now you and your little friend are going to have a guard. I mean, how many times have you been kidnapped? And how many more time have you been put in jail? I think you would be safer with a guard."

I scowled. "We were fine."

"Yes," he said. "But next time you may not be so lucky." And with that he spun on his heel and left. I stuck my tongue out at his back. No sooner than I had angrily began painting my toenails again, a dude showed up.

"Yeah?" I asked, not even looking up. "Hello?" I said. "Do you plan on answering?" I asked, looking up. It was a general run-of-the-mill soldier. Gondor black and silver gear, gray eyes, dark hair, you get it.

"I'm your guard."

"And that means…?" I asked, looking at him.

"That means," he said. "That I am here to-,"

"Snitch on me." I said.

"Pardon?" he asked. I sighed. "Your job is to tell Faramir and Boromir where Trisher and I are every freakin' minute of everyday. Am I right?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "No, I am only here to watch you. Lady Trisha has her own."

"Oh I gotta see this." I said jumped up, even though only one of my feet were painted, I still wore flip-flops. I noticed that as I wandered out to go look for Trisher, he followed me. I walked around and randomly opened the door next to the library, and Trisher was in there, reading, with a guard dude standing watch. I suppressed a giggle. Both of them looked extremely bored. I was going to sneak up on Trisher, but sadly, it is very hard to attempt sneak up on someone when you have a very noisy guard following you.

"Announcing Princess Paige." He said. I could've hit him. I should've. Teach him to announce me.

I winced as Trisher glanced up and saw me. "So," I said. "You wanna meet my new friend?" Trisher noticed my guard.

"Guys?" I said. "Little alone time, k?"

They looked at me. "LEAVE!" I said, and they left.

"We'll be right outside the -," But slammed the door.

"Trisher!" I said. "Did you tell!"

"No!" said Trisher. "Why would I tell? You think I wanna get stuck with Mr. Kill Joy all day?" I scowled. "How'd they find out."

"Does it matter?" asked Trisher.

"You're right." I said. "We're still going to Rohan."

"That's not what I meant…" said Trisher.

"Doesn't matter." I shrugged. "Obviously, they are going to listen to us. Though, they report to Faramir and Boromir." I thought for a second, and smiled. "I know! We'll just say that we're going to Rohan, of course, to visit…"

"Not Eomer." Said Trisher.

"Lothiriel." I said. "And then, we just happen to go through Drudan forest…"

"Ah." Said Trisher. "Let's do it."

* * *

"Mmm Macoroni&Cheese and pickles." - Jessie 


	80. Living with Guards

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Do not own anything! (runs away sobbing) 

w00t! 231 reviews! (quits sobbing)

* * *

Chapter 79

Living with Guards

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"No Trisha!" I said. "For the last time, you may NOT put a sign on the back of your guard that says 'Kick me!'." I mean, c'mon, she should have at least come up with something more interesting than 'Kick Me!' I mean, J-Bob came up with 'Kiss me, I'm Polish!' 

Anyway, so we finally convinced our guard dudes that yes, we could go see Lothiriel, no, we, well, I, was not going to see Eomer. Faramir must've warned them about my erm... record. By morning, Trisher and I were packed, my toes were now fully blue, along with my fingernails, and we were ready. We left, and I guess our guard dudes told Faramir and Boromir, because as soon as we were out of Minas Tirith (on horses, of course) Boromir and Faramir came out running. I kicked Aracaran into gear, and of course my guard sped up, and we left Trisher and her guard in the dust. Aracaran and I raced across the Pelennor, into the forest. I took a couple of turns, trying to lost my guard. It started getting dark, and I slowed Aracaran to a stop. My guard arrived about a minute after I did, much to my displeasure. I had thought I lost him. I made a face as he pulled his dark black horse next to Aracaran and jumped off. Oh, he looked pissed. He looked _very _pissed.

"What did you think you were doing?" he asked, not trying to hide his anger.

I rolled my eyes at him. "I was trying to escape from you and Faramir, if it wasn't that obvious." He sighed. "I am here for your protection. If you run off, you are not permitting me to do my job." Just then Trisher rode up. I thought I had lost her and her guard too. I was having a bad day.

"Aiii!" Trisher screeched as her horse tumbled into the thick forest where my guard and I were in. Her guard was right on her tail, and by the looks of it, Trisher had been yelling like that the entire time. She sort of … stumbled off her horse, looking rather dazed. Then she saw me. If looks could kill… I'd been dead a long time ago.

"What do you think you were doing!" she yelled. "Taking off like that! You dork!"

I yelled right back. "I'm already getting the 3rd degree from my guard so you can lay off!"

"Fine! I will!"

"You do that!" Trisher and I stared at each other for a minute, and then got over our egos. "Fine." Trisher said. "Just don't do that again, otherwise I will kill you next time."

"Okay." I said.

"We'll make camp for the night then." Trisher froze. Trisher doesn't like bugs, and this forest looked like it was a metropolis for bugs and spiders.

"Here?" she asked.

"It's either here or a place that the Rangers use." My guard said. "But we'd have to ride at night, and even though Sauron is defeated, this wood isn't completely safe."

"Let's go to the Ranger place." Said Trisher

"No." my guard said. "It is my decision, and you are going stay here."

"Who do you think you are?" I asked him. "Last time I checked, I was still capable of making up my own mind! Plus, it's cold out here." I was right, it was getting really cold, and I was just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

"Of course it's cold!" Trisher's guard said. "It's approaching the autumn season!" Yeah, like Trisher and I really know what season Middle Earth is in. "Here. I thought you would be irresponsible enough not to bring a cloak." My guard pulled a dark green cloak out of a saddlebag, and handed it to me. I begrudgingly accepted it. My guard sighed. "If you promise not to take off again, I suppose we can go to the Ranger's place." My guard lead the way, we were walking, and leading our horses along beside us. Trisher and I were walking by each other, talking.

"I wonder if time stopped." I said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well, in the Chronicles of Narnia, whenever they went into Narnia, and came back, very little time elapsed. And I was wondering if maybe I'll wake up in front of my computer, or whatever."

"Huh. I really don't know." Said Trisher

* * *

"Number 3!" 

"Number adultery!" – The Blue Notebook by Trisher Nicole (edited by Paige)


	81. Pointy Sticks

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer:

A/N : I really have no geographical skills, so I have no clue if there is or isn't a forest on Gondor's borders, nor do I know where the hell the Drudan Forest is, nor where the hell it is in Rohan.

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Chapter 80

Rangers

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Eventually, we got to the Ranger place, or whatever it was. Our guard guys lied. It so was not a short walking distance. It was like not, okay, it just wasn't. Now, I wouldn't of minded walking that far, that is, if I had some incentive. I didn't. Right now, the ground was looking pretty good to me.

"Must … keep … walking." Trisher panted.

"We're almost there." My ranger assured us.

"Yea, you told us that an HOUR AGO!" I said.

"You need to keep quiet, enemies still lurk in this woods." Trisher and I glanced at each other. That meant the Grinners, we were assuming.

"Um, what kind of creatures?" I asked. "Ones that continually smile and are not big on talking?"

"Or are big on violence?" Trisher added.

"Much worse." He said. "And what kind of creatures do you speak of? One's that are of a young girl's nightmare?"

Oh, I could have slapped him. I so could've and would've slapped him, if Trisher hadn't grabbed my arm and mouthed 'Sexist' at me. That made me pity him in that face that the poor guy could not see out of his sexist box. But still. He was wrong. "My imagination!" I said. "No, we were kidnapped by them, TWICE!" I said.

"Did I not tell you to be quiet?" my guard hissed. "This wood is unsafe!" he was the one yelling now.

All of a sudden we were surrounded by pointy sticks. Before I could register what else was happening, our guards swooped down on us, and put us on our horses, and they drew their swords.

"Where are you from?" a deep voice came from inside the forest, it was creepy; we could only see the weapons, but no people. Weird. "We are from Gondor, Minas Tirith." Said Trisher's guard. The response to that was "You are trespassing on the property that does not belong to Gondor."

"No, this land belongs to the King Eomer, whom Gondor is allies with. We have King Eomer's leave." My guard stated.

"No. The woods of the Drudan Forest belong to no one than Ghân-buri-Ghân. King Théoden gave us this land."

Trisher and I glanced at each other. We were here! "We'll come peacefully!" I said. "No we won't!" my guard hissed at me. I just made a face at him. "Yes, we will! We do not wish to trouble the great people of Drudan Forest." I said. Trisher caught my drift. "Yeah, we'll come peacefully! Just put down your pointy sticks." She added. One of the short dudes lowered his stick. "Get off your horses and follow us." He said. I slid off Aracaran, and helped Trisher off hers. And off into the forest we went.

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Okay, so I'm going to ATTEMPT to end this story before it reaches 100 chapters, and am already starting to plan how it's going to start. This is the beginning of the end.


	82. I forgot the name of the chapter

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: "I married a moose. We don't need counseling." – Eric

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Chapter 81

Good Riddance

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They took us deep into the heart of the forest, where we met Ghân-buri-Ghân, and what an awesome guy he was. He was like a hippy/green peace/ Lorax dude. My type of guy, very cool.

"So," I said. "Since Trisher had to go screw everything up and marry Boromir, we need to, ahem, get rid of Boromir."

"And what do the people of Drudan care about the affairs of the outside world." He was a bit naïve too. That's cool. Easier to trick him. I mean, really, who in their right mind wanted Boromir, for god's sake?

"Look," said Trisher. "You take Boromir; no one ever bothers you again."

"That is what King Théoden say." He said, crossing his arms. "But who is sitting here now?" Oh, snap, he got us there. I looked at Trisher, mentally sending S.O.S signals.

"Well," said Trisher "We came here to look for you, that's why we're here."

"And those men?"

"They are idiot stalkers, are husbands make follow us." I answered, then I leaned forward, and motioned for him to do the same, when he did, I began whispering. "If you wouldn't mind, after we leave, detain them for a couple of days. I mean, give me and Trisher a break, you know?" he nodded.

"I understand." He said. "I suppose this 'Boromir' he do good work?"

"All brawn!" I said, leaving out the 'no brains' part.

Ghân-buri-Ghân, stroked his little goatee thing, thinking.

"So do we have a deal?" I asked. Ghân-buri-Ghân spat on the ground, Trisher and I looked at each other, than spat on the ground as well. We were finally starting to get things back to normal.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

So that's how Trisher and I ended up walking out of Drudan Forest, with our horses and without our guards.

"We sooo rock." I said. As Trisher and I rode back to Gondor, we were celebrating the loss of our guards.

"We really do." Replied Trisher. "But I feel sorta bad. I mean, they could've had families are something."

"Yeah…" I said slowly "But the Woses will let 'em leave eventually."

"I guess." Said Trisher. "How are they going to get Boromir?"

"Dunno, don't care." I said. "I suggested to lure him, like a cult. He said he'd do it there way. Whatever that means." I shrugged. I really didn't care.

"So help me, Paige Marissa, if he gets hurt!" Trisher said

"Oh god, Trish, they aren't barbarians." I said. "Even though they do smell." Trisher just sighed. I mean, what did she think the Woses were gonna do to him? We didn't have anything to worry about, right? Right?

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TRISHER! I got our next Mary Sue. The Outsiders. Huh? Huh? We take on the Greasy Gang, and the Socies. Huh? Well, I'm gonna do it, and you are comin with me.


	83. The Adventures of

Trisher Nicole Married Who

By:

LiL Pippin Padfoot

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Disclaimer: Sorry, but I nearly died. (cough TRISHER cough) anyway, here you go!

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Chapter 82

That Adventures of St. Jimmy and Whatsername!

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"So," I said, as Trisher and headed out of the Drudan forest, "Where do you wanna go?"

"What do you mean?" Trisher asked, stopping her horse. I noticed that that was about the only thing she could do on her horse. Stop.

"I mean, that we can go to Rohan, like we said, or we could just go back to Gondor."

"Meh." Said Trisher. "Let's just go back. Didn't we have like a job or something at one point?"

I shrugged and laughed. "Who knows anymore?" I said, making Trisher laugh. I urged Aracaran on, and we started back for Gondor.

We got really bored, and reminiscent of my former War of the Ring Mary-sue days, I began singing Greenday, and Trisher joined in.

"Hey," I said, as we took a break from "St. Jimmy". "Do you remember our joke names?"

"Sure do, St. Jimmy!" said Trisher.

"I resent ever saying that, Whatsername." I replied. "You should call me Rebel. Because I'm an '09 Rebel!" I cheered.

"I like St. Jimmy better." Said Trisher giggling. "It's my favorite song." I sighed. I was beginning to wish that I had never jokingly told Trisher I was St. Jimmy. Why, oh why must I be sooo stupid all the time? I decided to change the subject. "So, what about singing the Dirty songs?" And we proceeded to sing Dirty Song Part I & II. ( a.k.a. any Fall Out Boy Song.)

"You know," Trisher said. "This is really pointless. I laughed. "When do we ever do anything that has a point?" I asked.

"True enough." She said. "I'm hungry." I glanced around, we were just getting out of the forest and in to the plains that would lead us back to Minas Tirith.

"It's sooo far." I whined. "Where are those stupid guards? Oh, right, back there." Trisher just rolled her eyes; she was used to me talking things out to myself.

All of a sudden, there were people coming across the plains, they were going quite fast, and naturally, Trisher and I were keeping things under control.

"PEOPLE!" Trisher yelled, startling her horse, who snorted and shook it's head. I slid off my horse, and Trisher did the same. "I KNOW THERE'S PEOPLE!" I shouted back at her.

"WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO?"

"I DON'T KNOW!"

"WHY ARE YOU YELLING?"

"YOU YELLED FIRST!" Right about now, I turned around noticed that the people were approaching very quickly. And they looked mighty familiar.

"OH MY GOD!" Trisher yelled. At the point, even my -7.00 leagally blind eyes with fuzzy old contacts that hadn't been changed in over a month could recognize those two. Our dear husbands, Faramir and Boromir.

"We should hide…" I whispered slowly, turning to Trisher. "I think it's a tad late." She whispered back. I suddenly found it overwhelmingly funny that we had just been and yelling, but had reverted to whispering. Trisher and I realized we were trapped, so we had to come up with a plan.

"Hey," I said "Let's just stand over there, and see if they notice." Trisher stared at me. "That is the stupidest idea I have EVER heard." She said.

"Yeah, well, look who we're dealing with." I said, half-joking, half not.

So, Trisher and I pulled our horses off to the side, and just sort of stood around.

A few minutes later, Boromir and Faramir rode by. Right by. Didn't even notice two damsels in distress. Well, I suppose that's a good thing, if not a bit rude.

"I can't believe it worked!" Trisher said, we high-fived. "What a bunch of idiots." I said.

Apparently, I spoke to soon, because all of a sudden, we heard hoof-beats.

Faramir and Boromir emerged. "What are you doing?" asked Boromir.  
"I could ask you the same thing!" I said, putting my hands on my hips. "What didn't think we could take care of ourselves?"

"No," Trisher said. "They didn't. Remember? We had guards."

"Had?" Faramir said.

"Yes, past-tense. Not any more."

"What did you do?" Boromir asked looking at me.

"Why is it always me?" I whined. Even though I knew that it was always me, they could through the blame on Trisher just a little bit.

"So it was you?" he inquired.

"What?" I said, and Trisher laughed.

"I said. 'So it was you?'." He repeated.

"Where?" I asked, And Trisher just roared. I got that little stint off an old TV show re-runs that Trisher and I watched one night.

Boromir just sighed.

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Okay, Trisher, after Outsiders, I'm thinking… Trisher and Paige take over Grey's Anatomy! Yeah, I get McDreamy, you can have McSteamy, and we can split George,


End file.
